Emotional Intelligence For Couples In Conflict
By Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF for Atlanta Anger Management
Couples who are experiencing relationship problems often have moved into angry feelings due to frequent exchanges of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling and withdrawal. The relationship seems to be ‘stuck’ in a downward circle of destructive interactions.
Does this describe your relationship? Yes? … Read on help is available.
Invest in a few 1.5 to 3 hour private couple sessions to get over this toxic way of existing.
Richard will help you by giving you an ACTION PLAN with each session specifically designed just for your issues.
Often these might include:
- Behavior Reform Contracts
- Language Reform Contracts
- 24 Hour Anger Contract
- List Of What Each Partner Needs And Wants
- How To Fight Fair Instruction
- Proper Time Out Methods
- Learn What Emotional Intelligence Is
- Using Emotional Intelligence For Better Choices And Outcomes
- Changing Aggressive Anger Into Respectful Anger For Growth
- Becoming Creative Partners Invested In Change
- Move Into Early Relationship Patterns Again
- Learn To Dialogue Better With Active Listening And Assertion Skills
- Learn To Have Fun Again And Laugh Often
- Learn Intimacy Building Skills For Core Strengthening Of The Relationship
- Build Trust Again
- Learn To Let The Past Go
- Learn To Let Emotions Flow Through You Rather Than Days Of Negative Feelings
- Take A Negative Feeling Word Assessment To ID Your Anger Triggers (Free)
- Take A Cognitive Distortion Assessment (Free)
- Take A Passive Aggressive Assessment (Free)
- Optional: Anger Management Assessment For Each Couple $100.00
- Learning Communication Styles For Better Emotional Intelligence Outcomes
- Learn To Control Stress As It Is A Main Cause Of Anger Outbursts, Health Problems
- Learn That Each Person Is Responsible For Your Present Lousy Relationship
- End Blame
- End Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, Stonewalling, And Withdrawal
- Embrace Constructive Interactions
- Embrace Change
- Overcome Childhood ‘Programming’ And Choose A New Path To Healing
- Learning To Choose Relationship Growth and Happiness
- Learn To Control Yourself
- Learn To be Empathetic and Compassionate
- Become Unstuck and Excel At Intimate, Work, and Public Relationships
- Learn To Become More Conscious
- Learn To Balance 4 Domains: Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual Realms
- Learn To Be Selfless
- Learn To Become Who You Want To Be
- Be Coached By An Expert Trained In Anger, Rage, Stress, Emotional Intelligence, Communication, Growth and Couples Conflict Management
A thing to remember we do not offer counseling but rather psycho education to effect change. This is why it is much faster than traditional talk therapy. We focus on solutions, educational training, the positive to help couples change.
The Anderson & Anderson™ Anger Management Model includes Emotional Intelligence as one of its key components.
Please call Richard at 678-576-1913 to set up a couples session.
Hetero – Gay – Lesbian Couples
We suggest starting with a 1.5 hour session than move to a weekly one hour session. Many choose longer sessions to help move into “fixes” more quickly. The choice is yours and in a short time you will know when you are “done”. No pressure, no contracts. If both partners embrace your custom designed ACTION PLAN change will occur quickly.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the capacity to appropriately respond to emotional stimuli in a way which leads to positive outcomes in yourself and others. EQ is a learned ability to identity, experience, understand, and express human emotions in healthy and productive ways.
Emotional intelligence provided an intervention with a different set of skills which includes managing anger, stress, improving communication and emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence is a key component in the Anderson & Anderson™ Model of Anger Management Intervention used by Rev. Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management,
an Anderson and Anderson™ Certified Provider.
In contrast to IQ, which is the ability to manipulate objects and master precision learning, emotional intelligence can be changed, improved at any stage of life. In contrast, IQ remains stable over time and does not predict success in life or relationships.
Research by Goleman and others have shown that success in life and work is not determined by IQ but rather by emotional intelligence (EQ). The brightest students do not necessarily become the most successful.
The emotionally intelligent person is the one who is aware of his own feelings, moods, assets and limitations and is sensitive, empathic and compassionate to others. He or she has the capacity to actively listen to others, give feedback and positively influence others that lead to win – win situations.
By improving your emotional intelligence you will be better able to positively influence both your overall performance and well-being, and get incredible results from your relationships at work and life.
A growing body of research suggests:
- Emotional Intelligence is a better predictor of success that the more traditional measures.
- EQ may be the single most important factor in predicting success.
- A person’s ability to perceive, identify, and manage their emotions provides the basis for the kinds of social and emotional competencies that are important for success in almost any job.
- 20% of your success is contributed by your IQ.
- 36% attributable to your emotional intelligence.
- At least 90% of the difference between outstanding and average leaders is related to emotional intelligence.
- Explains why some people excel while others of the same caliber lag behind.
- Emotional intelligence is linked to important work-related outcomes such as individual performance and work related organizational productivity.
- It is equally important when selecting the next generation of leaders.
Emotional Intelligence matters most in times of change.
It is a measure of your ability to recognize and manage your own feelings and those of other people (partners, family work related staff, colleagues and customers) to produce better results with win-win outcomes.
The skills taught in couples emotional intelligence coaching may include some or all of the following:
- interpersonal awareness
- self control
- anger management
- interpersonal assertion
- listening skills
- empathy, compassion
- improving communication style for better outcomes
- stress management
- social awareness
- relationship management
- problem solving – decision making
- time management
How do issues like substance abuse, anger management and violence relate?
They are the result of unresolved conflicts relating to personal growth and a lack of knowledge about the process of making positive personal changes. Self-defeating and destructive living patterns are the result of learned behavior, any behavior which is learned can be unlearned.
When you work with other people, your relationship with them can really matter.
Using emotional intelligence is all about getting the most out of these relationships in ways that benefit everyone. Whenever you need to work with other people to deliver better outcomes, having the skills to work effectively with them will help you create a better solution and stronger relationships.
When you learn to recognize other’s emotions, you immediately begin to have greater empathy with them and to better connect with them.
Sometimes we respond to situations and people in ways that we may regret. It’s harder to rebuild bridges than it is to establish them. Using emotional intelligence allows you to develop strategies to respond to others comments, incidents and events that would normally push your emotional buttons.
It’s never easy to deal with conflict, but when you are aware of what drives conflict, you will be able to not just cope with the situation, but be able to diffuse the emotions that always accompanies conflict. When you know your own skills and abilities, you can focus on developing in areas that will benefit you most.
Here are some of the skills that can be developed through Emotional Intelligence:
- Emotional Competency: constitutes the capacity to tactfully respond to emotional stimuli elicited by various situations, having high self-esteem and optimism, communication, tackling emotional upsets such as frustration, conflicts, inferiority complexes, enjoying emotions, doings what succeeds, ability to relate to others.
- Emotional Maturity: constitutes evaluating your own emotions and those of others. The capacity to identity and express feelings. The ability to balance the state of your heart and mind. Being adaptable and flexible, appreciating another’s point of view, developing others, and delaying gratification of immediate psychological satisfaction.
- Emotional Sensitivity: constitutes understanding the threshold of emotional arousal, managing the immediate environment, maintain rapport, harmony and comfort with others, letting others feel comfortable in your company while you feel comfortable in your own skin, empathy.
- Couple Growth: learning how to help your partner feel heard, understood, helped, served, respected, valued and important. Learn to be emotionally sensitive, aware, optimistic, resilient, positive, and responsible. Learn to feel safe, trusted, special, needed, included, cooperative, focused, productive, and motivated.
- Productivity: Reduce the lost time spent on conflict, turf-battles, defensiveness and insecurity.
- Goal Setting: Determine ACTION PLAN that keeps promoting positive interactions for better outcomes. Further Sessions address adjusted goals to get to the expected finish line.
For information about training in Couples Emotional Intelligence and / or Couples Conflict Anger Management, please contact Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF of Atlanta Anger Management in Atlanta, GA.
Please call Richard: 678-576-1913
Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator™
Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA
Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam