C U P I D For Better Communication
C: Communication requires de-escalation: successful communication requires de-escalating your own heightened emotion before engaging your partner.
U: Understanding is not automatic: you and your partner are not always going to share the same perspective—so the assumption that your partner should, by default, understand your perspective can cause frustration and alienation for both of you.
P: Practice makes permanent: repeated practice, not just good intention or a single instance of success, brings about the change in your relationship that you want to see.
I: Interdependence is the key: a good balance of dependence and independence is the key to healthy relationships.
D: De-escalate whenever needed: if emotions start to escalate, call for an immediate cease-fire or time-out to calm down before reengaging. Heightened emotion, whether it’s anxiety, fear, anger, or sadness, only heightens disconnect in an interaction. You need to de-escalate your own heightened emotion before you’re going to experience connection in any communication.
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