Homicides in the US

 

 

 

CONTACT:

Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
ATLANTA ANGER MANAGEMENT
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200
Atlanta, GA 30342 USA
Phone: 678-576-1913
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Anger Management Classes
Anger Management Private Sessions
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How To Drive Defensively

How to Drive Defensively

Adopting defensive-driving techniques can keep you safe on the road and may even save you money and your life! Many insurance companies reduce policyholders’ premiums if they maintain accident-free driving records or take an accredited course on defensive-driving techniques. If you want to learn how to drive defensively, follow these steps.

  1. Stay focused, keeping your hands on the wheel. Defensive drivers concentrate on the road, keeping their hands at the 10 o’clock-2 o’clock position. They don’t do other tasks while driving, some of which are illegal. These include:
    • Eating
    • Applying makeup
    • Holding a dog
    • Tending to a child
    • Operating a hand-held cell phone
    • Texting
  1. Keep your eyes moving. Continuously look in your mirrors and scan the road ahead, checking for hazards and slowing traffic so you can anticipate problems before they develop.
  2. Stay alert. Don’t drive if you’re tired, upset, or angry.
  3. Go with the flow. Most drivers know that speeding is a major cause of accidents, but driving too slow can be dangerous, too. Drive at speeds that most other vehicles are going.
  4. Use the 2 second rule on heavily traveled roads to maintain adequate spacing with the car in front of you.
    • Choose a fixed object on the road ahead of you.
    • Count “1 independence, 2 independence” when the car in front of you goes by the object. If you pass the same object before you’re done counting, slow down a bit. The 2 second rule helps reduce the chance of a rear-end collision when cars in front make sudden stops.
  1. Make yourself visible. Many accidents occur because drivers didn’t see the other car. There are a few simple ways to make your presence known, making the road safer for everyone. They include:
    • Turn signals: Use your turn signals to let other drivers know where you’re going. By using your blinkers, other drivers will be able to anticipate your actions and slow down safely.
    • Headlights: Turn on your headlights at dusk or anytime it is raining. This is more for other drivers to see you than for you to see the road. In some states it is illegal to drive without your headlights on while the windshield wipers are in operation.
    • Brake lights: Operational brake lights are a safety must. They warn cars behind you that you’re slowing down, signaling them to reduce speed, too.
    • Avoid blind spots: Don’t linger in areas where the driver in front of you can’t see you. Many people will only check their mirrors before making a lane change. If you’re lurking slightly behind and a lane away from another vehicle, assume that the driver of that car can’t see you. Either safely speed up or slow down to avoid this scenario, which often results in an accident. This is an important defensive-driving technique.
  1. Resist road rage. Aggressive drivers may infuriate you, but retaliating with similar tactics is dangerous. Take a passive approach in dealing with road rage. Use these strategies in specific road-rage scenarios:
    • Tailgaters: If the driver behind you is right on your bumper, tap the brakes a few times to let the driver know that he’s not maintaining a safe distance. If he stays on your tail, slow down gradually. Chances are the tailgater will eventually pass you.
    • Speeders: If you see a car speeding or aggressively changing lanes behind you, stay in your lane while maintaining your speed.
  1. Adapt to road conditions. Even light rain can produce dangerous conditions, particularly early in the season when the water picks up oil from the road surface, making it slippery. Tires lose their grip at higher speeds, so slowing down in inclement weather is a fundamental defensive-driving technique.
  2. Familiarize yourself with traffic rules. Refresh your memory by browsing a Department of Motor Vehicles pamphlet detailing the rules of the road. It provides guidelines on rights of way, road signs, traffic law, and contains tips on safe driving.
  3. Avoid Rear-Enders in Intersections: Move only when it is clear. Sometimes an intersection gets backed up with traffic.
    • If you’re the first car to go at green, make sure traffic on the other side of the intersection that you are moving into has cleared before you decide to go. This can prevent you from getting in a situation where you might get T-boned if you get stuck or stalled in an intersection.
    • Turning into an intersection: a lot of rear-end collisions happen when the driver behind you assumes you are going to complete the turn, even if traffic is backed up.
    • Give yourself enough room: if you must stop in an intersection, slow down carefully and keep distance from any other cars that have yet to complete the intersection. If the person behind you ‘flip-flops’ and rear-ends your car, you’ll save yourself the trouble the car in front of you is not involved. No fun having dents front And back.

Source:     http://www.wikihow.com/Drive-Defensively

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam
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About.Me www.about.me/richardtaylorAAM

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

CNN Special Report On #Being13

http://www.cnn.com/specials/us/being13

Watch a CNN Special Report, “#Being13: Inside the Secret World of Teens,” Monday at 9 p.m. ET on CNN. Warning: This story contains explicit language.

Anderson Cooper and team did a great job on #Being13: Inside the Secret World of Teens. Social Media addiction applies to adults as well. Worth viewing the re-play on Cable or On Demand services. – Richard Taylor

(CNN)”I would rather not eat for a week than get my phone taken away. It’s really bad,” said Gia, a13-year-old. “I literally feel like I’m going to die.”

“When I get my phone taken away, I feel kind of naked,” said Kyla, another 13-year-old. “I do feel kind of empty without my phone.”

Both participated in “#Being13: Inside the Secret World of Teens,” a first-of-its-kind CNN study on social media and teens.

More than 200 eighth graders from across the country allowed their social media feeds to be studied by child development experts who partnered with CNN. This is the first large scale study to analyze what kids actually say to each other on social media and why it matters so deeply to them.

“We see a lot of evidence of, if not out-right addiction to social media, a heavy dependence on it,” said sociologist Robert Faris, a school bullying and youth aggression researcher who co-authored the study. “There’s a lot of anxiety about what’s going on online, when they’re not actually online, so that leads to compulsive checking.”

Read the study: (Warning: Explicit language)

Why are teens so anxious about what’s happening online? #Being13 found that it’s largely due to a need to monitor their own popularity status, and defend themselves against those who challenge it.

61% of teens said they wanted to see if their online posts are getting likes and comments.
36% of teens said they wanted to see if their friends are doing things without them.
21% of teens said they wanted to make sure no one was saying mean things about them.

“This is an age group that has a lot of anxiety about how they fit in, what they rank, what their peer-status is. There is fear in putting yourself out there on social media and they hope for lots of likes and comments and affirmations but there is always the chance that someone could say something mean,” said child clinical psychologist Marion Underwood, the study’s other co-author.

The perils of lurking on social media

The study was conducted with eighth graders at eight different schools in six states across the country. Participating students, with the permission of their parents, registered their Instagram, Twitter and Facebook accounts through a secure server created by Smarsh, an electronic archiving company contracted by CNN. The study’s co-authors, along with their teams, analyzed an estimated 150,000 social media posts collected over a six month period. In addition, the teens also answered a number of survey questions about their use of social media.

‘If they’re talking about me, I’m going to talk about them’

The more teens look at social media, the study found, the more distressed they can become. The heaviest social media users admitted to checking their social media feeds more than 100 times a day, sometimes even during school hours. What’s more, some teens are so vigilant about those who might be casting them in a negative light, they follow the social media accounts of not only their friends, but also their enemies.

“I want to see what they’re talking about and if they’re talking about me. Because if they’re talking about me, I’m going to talk about them,” said Zack, one of this study’s teen subjects.

#Being13 also found that teens no longer see a distinction between their lives in the real world versus the online world. But they’ll still post online what they admit they’d never say in person.

“Go die. Stop trying to be popular. Holy s**t your (sic) ugly,” read one social media post sent to a girl in the study.

“On a serious level you are f**k bouta (sic) get your ass kicked,” read a post written by a boy in the study.

“Goddamn u dirty bitch u dirty bitch u dirty bitch,” read a post by another boy.

The level of profanity, explicit sexual language and references to drug use surprised the experts, considering the study’s subjects were only in eighth grade.

“I didn’t realize these kinds of behaviors trickled down. You see this at the high school level but these are kids, who I think of as children, and we saw a lot of adult content on these platforms,” Faris said.

Parents: Here’s how to stop the worst of social media

‘They’re sharing this stuff that was supposed to be kept private’

The adult content went far beyond the use of language. #Being13 found that even 13-year-olds are exposed to the sexualized side of the Internet. Fifteen percent of teens in this study reported receiving inappropriate photos, and those that did were nearly 50% more distressed than the rest of the students in this study.

“Receiving these pictures is upsetting, especially at such a young age, because it’s something you didn’t ask to see, it’s something you may have wished you did not open, but you can’t erase it out of your mind,” Underwood said. “It’s illegal, it’s worrisome, it’s scary, it’s dangerous, it’s loaded. If you tell an adult, everybody will get in a lot of trouble. So I think it puts them in a really tough position.”

In addition to receiving inappropriate photos, some teens in this study spoke about the prevalence of so-called revenge porn.

“What they like to call it is ‘exposing.’ It’s either, like, an ex-girlfriend or an ex-boyfriend, the majority of the time, and what they do is post … naked pictures of the person,” said Morgan, an eighth grade girl in this study. “They’re sharing this stuff that was supposed to be kept private between the two, and really shouldn’t have happened in the first place, but it did, and now they’re spreading it.”

Underwood explained that a break-up at age 13 can already be overwhelming, but to combine those feelings with this new, and malicious, form of payback can simply be devastating.

“To have the additional fear that incriminating pictures, that intimate pictures, are out there for others to see just adds to the shame and humiliation,” she said. “When they are hurt, when they are furious … unfortunately that’s just perfect ammunition.”

Parents ‘effectively erased the negative effects’

#Being13 also studied parents of the participating teens. Almost all parents — 94% — underestimated the amount of fighting happening over social media. Despite that finding, parents that tried to keep a close eye on their child’s social media accounts had a profound effect on their child’s psychological well-being.

“Parent monitoring effectively erased the negative effects of online conflicts,” Faris said.

Beyond discovering a number of posts and trends that parents might find alarming, #Being13 also found that social media can have plenty of benefits for 13-year-olds.

“It’s a way for them to connect with friends. It’s a way for them to see what people are doing. It’s a way for them to feel affirmed, supported, lifted up,” Underwood said. “Young people use social media to exercise positive leadership all the time.”

She cautioned though, “there is the occasional hurtful comment, the occasional painful period, experience of exclusion that looms large for most of them.”

Anderson Cooper on the new documentary

#Being13
anderson cooper reporters notebook being 13 ac_00023108

Anderson Cooper on the new documentary #Being13 02:32

Source: http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/05/health/being-13-teens-social-media-study/index.html

 

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
Atlanta, Georgia USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Supermoon Blood Moon Eclipse Viewing Sept 27, 2015


NASA VIDEO

As Space.com explains: “Supermoons occur when the moon reaches its full phase at or near the satellite’s closest approach to Earth, and appears abnormally large and bright as a result. The Sept. 27 event is quite special; the last supermoon eclipse occurred in 1982, and the next won’t take place until 2033.”

The total eclipse will also feature a blood moon.

Sunday’s event is also the culmination of a “tetrad” — the last of four successive lunar eclipses that started with the April 15, 2014, eclipse, followed by one on Oct. 8, 2014, and again on April 4 of this year.

As Sky & Telescope writes: “Observers in the eastern half of North America can watch every stage of the eclipse, from beginning to end of the partial phases (3 1⁄3 hours in all) during convenient hours of late twilight or darkness with the Moon mostly high in the sky. If you’re in the Far West, the first partial stage of the eclipse is already in progress when the Moon rises (due east) around the time of sunset. Those in Europe and Africa see the eclipse on the local morning of the 28th.”

Totality (when the moon is completely in Earth’s shadow) arrives at 10:10.7 p.m. ET for those in the country’s East, or 9:11 p.m. CT for those in the Midwest.

Total eclipse of the Moon
Delta T: 68.0s

ATLANTA, GEORGIA
o ‘ o ‘
W084 25, N33 46

Eastern Daylight Time

Moon’s
Azimuth Altitude
h m o o
Moonrise 2015 Sep 27 19:20 89.1 —-
Moon enters penumbra 2015 Sep 27 20:10.3 95.8 9.5
Moon enters umbra 2015 Sep 27 21:06.8 103.8 20.7
Moon enters totality 2015 Sep 27 22:10.7 114.3 33.0
Middle of eclipse 2015 Sep 27 22:47.1 121.7 39.6
Moon leaves totality 2015 Sep 27 23:23.5 130.5 45.6
Moon leaves umbra 2015 Sep 28 00:27.4 151.0 54.1
Moon leaves penumbra 2015 Sep 28 01:24.0 174.9 57.7
Moonset 2015 Sep 28 07:58 273.9 —-

Top 7 Tips How To Be Happy

Top 7 Tips How To Be Happy

Why are happy people happy?

Finding happiness… How?

Finding Happiness went in search for the answer to the question:

“Why are happy people happy?”

Here are our Seven Top Happiness Tips for how to find true and lasting happiness in daily life:

TIP: You may need to print this out and hang on your mirror.

1.) Let go of negativity.

Learn to forgive and forget.

See every challenge as an opportunity for further growth.

Express gratitude for what you have.

Be more optimistic about the future and your ability to accomplish life goals.

Open yourself up to success and embrace failures or mistakes that happen along the way.

Know that none of us are perfect, we are all here to entertain and be entertained.

Don’t worry about the little things.

Take plenty of “worry vacations” where you train your mind not to worry for a certain lengths of time.

If you want to be more positive, surround yourself with positive energy and people.

Nurture the positive relationships that you have, seeking out more of those relationships that help uplift you.

Accept and love yourself for the unique gifts and talents that you bring to life.

Spend less time trying to please others and spend more time trying to please your higher self.

See the humor in life and in our experiences. Take life less seriously and learn to laugh at yourself.

2.) Serve and be kind to others.

Treat everyone with kindness.

Not only does it help others to feel better, but you will notice that you too feel good after having a positive interaction with others.

Speak well of others. When you speak positively of others, you will attract more positivity.

Truly listen to others. Be present and mindful to what others are really saying when they speak. Support them without bringing yourself into it.

Be careful with your words. Speak gentler, kinder, and wiser.

Respect others and their free will.

Put your trust in others and be trusted in return.

Enjoy the sense of community and friendship that comes from this openness and faith in one another.

Work as part of a whole. See others as partners in your efforts. Unite your efforts with them to create a synergy more powerful than anything you could do alone.

Practice generosity and giving without expecting anything in return. Get involved with service opportunities and offer what you can to a greater cause.

Smile more– to family, to co-workers, to neighbors, to strangers– and watch it not only change how you feel but also how they feel too.

3.) Live in the present.

Don’t replay negative events or worry about the future.

Accept and celebrate impermanence.

Be grateful for your life, for each moment of every day. Observe the constant and natural flow of change that surrounds us, and your small yet important part in the natural, divine flow of life.

Observe yourself in the moment. Work on your reactions to outer circumstances and learn how to approach life harmoniously.

4.) Choose a healthy lifestyle.

Keep a daily routine. Wake up at the same time every morning, preferably early. Setting yourself to a natural biorhythm will make it easier to wake up and feel energized.

Get enough sleep. Proper sleep is linked to positive personality characteristics like optimism, improved self-esteem, and even problem solving.

Expose yourself to cold temperatures (especially first thing in the morning with perhaps a cold shower). It increases your circulation, helps minimize inflammation in the body, enhances weight loss, and energizes and invigorates you to start your day.

Turn off the TV. For every hour of TV you watch, you reduce 22 minutes of your life expectancy.

Eat properly. What you eat has a direct effect on your mood and energy levels. Eat plenty of organic, locally grown fruits and vegetables, nuts, whole grains, and dairy products that are both vitamin and mineral infused. Don’t overeat and try to practice healthy self-control.

Exercise daily to the point of sweating. It not only helps to purify the body, but also releases endorphins which help to prevent stress, relieve depression, and positively improve your mood.

Laugh more. Laughter is the best medicine. Like exercise, it releases endorphins that battle the negative effects of stress and promote a sense of well-being and joy.

Practice deep breathing and yoga. The body and mind are connected. Emotions affect the physical systems in the body, and the state of the body also affects the mind. By relaxing and releasing tension through the breath or yoga practice you feel more calm and centered throughout the day.

5.) Take care of your spirit.

Strive to always learn new things. Constantly expand your awareness and discover new ways of expressing your divine gifts.

Get creative. This will not only challenge you to learn new things, but will also help to keep your mind in a positive place. Practice living in the present moment and being a channel for the divine flow of creativity.

Practice meditation. Research has proven that even as little as 10 minutes of meditation a day can lead to physical changes in the brain that improve concentration and focus, calm the nervous system, and help you to become more kind and compassionate, and even more humorous. Then bring the joy and peace you receive from meditation into your daily life and activity.

Be honest. Telling the truth keeps you free inside, builds trust in relationships, and improves your will power and the ability to attract success.

Surrender to the Universe Divine and allow it to take care of the littlest things in life to the greatest and most important.

6. ) Be inwardly free.

Live minimally and simply. Often extravagant living brings more stress not more satisfaction.

De-clutter your home to de-clutter your mind. Clutter is an often unrecognized source of stress that promotes feelings of anxiety, frustration, distraction, and guilt. Feel good in your own home. Make it your sanctuary by keeping it clean, organized, and uplifting.

Go without certain things you think you need. Travel to new places where not everything is as easily accessible or readily available, and learn to appreciate what you have by expanding your world.

Take some time away from life’s complicated outer involvements to get to know your family, your neighbors, and your loved ones better; and to get to know yourself.

7.) Reconnect with Nature.

Take some time every week to recharge your body battery. On the weekend, escape to nature or a place where you can feel peace in time for a fresh start to the work week.

Get outside whenever possible to breathe in the fresh air and feel the sunshine. Both of which studies have shown to have a positive effect on our health and our mood.

Take some time to be silent. Be silent and calm every night for at least 10 minutes (longer if possible) and again in the morning before rising. This will produce an unbreakable habit of inner happiness to help you meet challenges in life.

Observe the natural beauty that surrounds you and feel a sense of connection. Appreciate the details and miracles that can be found in nature.

Taking the Next Steps to Finding Happiness:

Ask yourself what makes you happy, and find ways to restructure your life so that you are able to do more of those things.

Then ask why you struggle to do the things that you know will make you happy.

Why are you not yet happy?

Why haven’t you taken the next steps to find your happiness?

Why are you here?

And what do you need to do to feel a sense of accomplishment in this life?

Visualize yourself happy, doing the things that will bring you inner and outer success in life and write down the things you need to do to create a Happiness Bucket List.

Start with the little things you know you can do each day that will bring you joy. Then move on to accomplish greater and greater things on your happiness bucket list.

Sign up to receive our free daily happiness quotes, and download our happiness tips mini-poster gift to you, or view a list of our favorite happiness quotes.

Share Happiness with your friends:  Movie: http://findinghappinessmovie.com/

Source: http://findinghappinessmovie.com/happiness-tips/

 

Less Anger More Happiness.
Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Have The Burdens/Troubles of Life Got You Down? Got Joy? Got Happy?

Do You Have Joy In Your Life?

This question came up in last Saturday’s Anger Management all day class
with one participate answering no. Sadly life had beat him down.

The question became:
” How do I start to get
joyful living back?

Start with Positives. Look for positives in each moment and stay ever present (Mindfulness) changing your negative self talk (scripts).

How? By increasing your Focus Of Intention. Become more self aware of what you are thinking. This is called The Self Observing The Self. When I become aware I am thinking or saying something negative (not nice)…STOP! Reach for the “clicker” called awareness and change the Focus of your thought/talk to something constructive or pleasurable.

Often when we are in an unhappy place in our lives we are ‘stuck” Just frozen in the feeling. We cease to find living an experience of joyfulness. The wonder of children perspective on discovery, learning, just being.

We Need To Get Unstuck.
We Need T0 Change It Up!

-Richard Taylor

All of us at times need to make a decision to change up our life. often this might mean to take a risk. Perhaps move, decide to seek out joy. Google the concepts and become a learner, grow, choose to live again.

Become Positive By Being Positive.
-Richard Taylor

It is hard to drag yourself out of the quicksand of your life! You can do it!

Become creative. Watch positive movies, TV, read positive magazines, Internet articles and blogs and Books! Saturate yourself with new scripts of joy, happiness and positivity!

 


HECTOR AND THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS

 

I just join the I AM HAPPY PROJECT and found this below!

Get Motivated to Get Things Done

Have you ever looked your To-DO List to see that you have much more on your plate than you realized?

Sometimes added responsibilities in your life equal increased opportunities to procrastinate so, its important to remind yourself how to stay motivated and get things done.

Motivation is defined as “the desire to achieve a goal, combined with the energy to work towards it”. If you Google the topic of “Motivation” you will find that most tips on motivation have to do with big goals like losing weight or finding a job. But, sometimes we need motivational strategies for accomplishing the little things in life like doing the laundry or paying your bills.

Below are some motivational strategies that I think will help you get the little things, as well as the big things in your life done.

  • Talk to yourself. We have 50,000 to 70,000 thought a day. Unfortunately, it’s usually to give ourselves negative messages. The next time you are feeling stuck, try talking yourself through the process and giving yourself positive feedback. Talking yourself through the process will help to keep you focused on exactly what you are doing and what comes next and giving yourself positive feedback will motivate you to continue.
  • Connect with the “desire”. Why is it important to get this done? Even if you have a goal that is seemingly undesirable, like doing laundry or paying bills, it’s a lot more motivating to focus on the outcome instead of the act. The goal of paying your bills on time may be to establish and maintain a good credit score. Doing your laundry and having clean clothes will help you look and feel better about yourself, thus getting you that new position at work or meeting mister or miss “right”.
  • Remember you have a choice. Don’t let the need to rebel stop you. It’s important to remember that you do have a choice. Often we are not motivated to do things we think we “have” to do. True, there are things we “should” do in order to avoid unpleasant consequences, but the choice is still ours. So, instead of saying, “I have to finish that report tonight” why not motivate yourself by saying, “I choose to finish the report tonight because I value a sense of completion”.
  • Develop a sense of curiosity. Get curious about something. Formulate a question about what you are doing and work to find answers. Let a sense of wonder motivate you – “I wonder what would happen if I was early for work every day, how much work I could get done?” Challenge yourself to find an answer.
  • Make your goal hard to ignore. Set up reminders so that they are constantly in front of you. For example, if your goal is to do one load of laundry every day, make sure you put the basket of dirty laundry in the middle of the doorway so that you bump into it every time you walk out of the room. Posting visual cues and setting alarms are essential to staying focused and motivated.
  • Use a body double. A body double is simply someone who sits in the same room with you as you work. Sometimes you just need the presence of another person to motivate you to work on an undesirable task. Consider having a friend come over to keep you company while you pay your bills or sort through clutter.
  • Break it down. I have been procrastinating on cleaning out my computer files for months so I decided to break the task into doable pieces. Every day I delete or file at least 10 documents. The strange thing is – by giving myself permission to only do 10, sometimes I feel motivated to do more!
  • Reward yourself. Make it worth your while to complete a task. When you have something to look forward to after the job is done, it will make it a lot more doable. After I finish writing this – I’m going out to rent a movie!
  • Visualize. Before you start working on your goal, try closing your eyes and visualizing yourself doing and completing each step. For example, “I have already visualized how relieved and satisfied I will be when I get this task done”.
  • Change environments. Sometimes what it takes to get motivated and inspired is to change your environment. If you are inside – take your work outdoors or move to another room. Going to the library or a coffee shop can really make a difference. I’ve been known to go and work in my car in order to finish a project. Sometimes moving to another state might be needed, or a travel trip!
  • Make it fun! Find ways to make your fun. Play music you enjoy or watch a funny show while you work. Do unpleasant tasks with friends who can keep you company and cheer you on. Dancing and singing while you do housework should also make for a fun time or at the very least- a good laugh!

To have fun, be fun!
-Richard Taylor

One last thing….Reminder:

Amy Cuddy:
Fake It Until You Become It.

Find Your Joy Coaching:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong

Johann Hari:
Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong

The opposite of addiction is connection.
– Johann Hari

0:11
One of my earliest memories is of trying to wake up one of my relatives and not being able to. And I was just a little kid, so I didn’t really understand why, but as I got older, I realized we had drug addiction in my family, including later cocaine addiction.

0:24
I’d been thinking about it a lot lately, partly because it’s now exactly 100 years since drugs were first banned in the United States and Britain, and we then imposed that on the rest of the world. It’s a century since we made this really fateful decision to take addicts and punish them and make them suffer, because we believed that would deter them; it would give them an incentive to stop.

0:47
And a few years ago, I was looking at some of the addicts in my life who I love, and trying to figure out if there was some way to help them. And I realized there were loads of incredibly basic questions I just didn’t know the answer to, like, what really causes addiction? Why do we carry on with this approach that doesn’t seem to be working, and is there a better way out there that we could try instead?

1:09
So I read loads of stuff about it, and I couldn’t really find the answers I was looking for, so I thought, okay, I’ll go and sit with different people around the world who lived this and studied this and talk to them and see if I could learn from them. And I didn’t realize I would end up going over 30,000 miles at the start, but I ended up going and meeting loads of different people, from a transgender crack dealer in Brownsville, Brooklyn, to a scientist who spends a lot of time feeding hallucinogens to mongooses to see if they like them — it turns out they do, but only in very specific circumstances — to the only country that’s ever decriminalized all drugs, from cannabis to crack, Portugal. And the thing I realized that really blew my mind is, almost everything we think we know about addiction is wrong, and if we start to absorb the new evidence about addiction, I think we’re going to have to change a lot more than our drug policies.

1:57
But let’s start with what we think we know, what I thought I knew. Let’s think about this middle row here. Imagine all of you, for 20 days now, went off and used heroin three times a day. Some of you look a little more enthusiastic than others at this prospect. (Laughter) Don’t worry, it’s just a thought experiment. Imagine you did that, right? What would happen? Now, we have a story about what would happen that we’ve been told for a century. We think, because there are chemical hooks in heroin, as you took it for a while, your body would become dependent on those hooks, you’d start to physically need them, and at the end of those 20 days, you’d all be heroin addicts. Right? That’s what I thought.

2:33
First thing that alerted me to the fact that something’s not right with this story is when it was explained to me. If I step out of this TED Talk today and I get hit by a car and I break my hip, I’ll be taken to hospital and I’ll be given loads of diamorphine. Diamorphine is heroin. It’s actually much better heroin than you’re going to buy on the streets, because the stuff you buy from a drug dealer is contaminated. Actually, very little of it is heroin, whereas the stuff you get from the doctor is medically pure. And you’ll be given it for quite a long period of time. There are loads of people in this room, you may not realize it, you’ve taken quite a lot of heroin. And anyone who is watching this anywhere in the world, this is happening. And if what we believe about addiction is right — those people are exposed to all those chemical hooks — What should happen? They should become addicts. This has been studied really carefully. It doesn’t happen; you will have noticed if your grandmother had a hip replacement, she didn’t come out as a junkie. (Laughter)

3:25
And when I learned this, it seemed so weird to me, so contrary to everything I’d been told, everything I thought I knew, I just thought it couldn’t be right, until I met a man called Bruce Alexander. He’s a professor of psychology in Vancouver who carried out an incredible experiment I think really helps us to understand this issue. Professor Alexander explained to me, the idea of addiction we’ve all got in our heads, that story, comes partly from a series of experiments that were done earlier in the 20th century. They’re really simple. You can do them tonight at home if you feel a little sadistic. You get a rat and you put it in a cage, and you give it two water bottles: One is just water, and the other is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drug water and almost always kill itself quite quickly. So there you go, right? That’s how we think it works. In the ’70s, Professor Alexander comes along and he looks at this experiment and he noticed something. He said ah, we’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It’s got nothing to do except use these drugs. Let’s try something different. So Professor Alexander built a cage that he called “Rat Park,” which is basically heaven for rats. They’ve got loads of cheese, they’ve got loads of colored balls, they’ve got loads of tunnels. Crucially, they’ve got loads of friends. They can have loads of sex. And they’ve got both the water bottles, the normal water and the drugged water. But here’s the fascinating thing: In Rat Park, they don’t like the drug water. They almost never use it. None of them ever use it compulsively. None of them ever overdose. You go from almost 100 percent overdose when they’re isolated to zero percent overdose when they have happy and connected lives.

4:58
Now, when he first saw this, Professor Alexander thought, maybe this is just a thing about rats, they’re quite different to us. Maybe not as different as we’d like, but, you know — But fortunately, there was a human experiment into the exact same principle happening at the exact same time. It was called the Vietnam War. In Vietnam, 20 percent of all American troops were using loads of heroin, and if you look at the news reports from the time, they were really worried, because they thought, my God, we’re going to have hundreds of thousands of junkies on the streets of the United States when the war ends; it made total sense. Now, those soldiers who were using loads of heroin were followed home. The Archives of General Psychiatry did a really detailed study, and what happened to them? It turns out they didn’t go to rehab. They didn’t go into withdrawal. Ninety-five percent of them just stopped. Now, if you believe the story about chemical hooks, that makes absolutely no sense, but Professor Alexander began to think there might be a different story about addiction. He said, what if addiction isn’t about your chemical hooks? What if addiction is about your cage? What if addiction is an adaptation to your environment?

6:03
Looking at this, there was another professor called Peter Cohen in the Netherlands who said, maybe we shouldn’t even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we’re happy and healthy, we’ll bond and connect with each other, but if you can’t do that, because you’re traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that’s our nature. That’s what we want as human beings.

6:39
And at first, I found this quite a difficult thing to get my head around, but one way that helped me to think about it is, I can see, I’ve got over by my seat a bottle of water, right? I’m looking at lots of you, and lots of you have bottles of water with you. Forget the drugs. Forget the drug war. Totally legally, all of those bottles of water could be bottles of vodka, right? We could all be getting drunk — I might after this — (Laughter) — but we’re not. Now, because you’ve been able to afford the approximately gazillion pounds that it costs to get into a TED Talk, I’m guessing you guys could afford to be drinking vodka for the next six months. You wouldn’t end up homeless. You’re not going to do that, and the reason you’re not going to do that is not because anyone’s stopping you. It’s because you’ve got bonds and connections that you want to be present for. You’ve got work you love. You’ve got people you love. You’ve got healthy relationships. And a core part of addiction, I came to think, and I believe the evidence suggests, is about not being able to bear to be present in your life.

7:37
Now, this has really significant implications. The most obvious implications are for the War on Drugs. In Arizona, I went out with a group of women who were made to wear t-shirts saying, “I was a drug addict,” and go out on chain gangs and dig graves while members of the public jeer at them, and when those women get out of prison, they’re going to have criminal records that mean they’ll never work in the legal economy again. Now, that’s a very extreme example, obviously, in the case of the chain gang, but actually almost everywhere in the world we treat addicts to some degree like that. We punish them. We shame them. We give them criminal records. We put barriers between them reconnecting. There was a doctor in Canada, Dr. Gabor Maté, an amazing man, who said to me, if you wanted to design a system that would make addiction worse, you would design that system.

8:23
Now, there’s a place that decided to do the exact opposite, and I went there to see how it worked. In the year 2000, Portugal had one of the worst drug problems in Europe. One percent of the population was addicted to heroin, which is kind of mind-blowing, and every year, they tried the American way more and more. They punished people and stigmatized them and shamed them more, and every year, the problem got worse. And one day, the Prime Minister and the leader of the opposition got together, and basically said, look, we can’t go on with a country where we’re having ever more people becoming heroin addicts. Let’s set up a panel of scientists and doctors to figure out what would genuinely solve the problem. And they set up a panel led by an amazing man called Dr. João Goulão, to look at all this new evidence, and they came back and they said, “Decriminalize all drugs from cannabis to crack, but” — and this is the crucial next step — “take all the money we used to spend on cutting addicts off, on disconnecting them, and spend it instead on reconnecting them with society.” And that’s not really what we think of as drug treatment in the United States and Britain. So they do do residential rehab, they do psychological therapy, that does have some value. But the biggest thing they did was the complete opposite of what we do: a massive program of job creation for addicts, and microloans for addicts to set up small businesses. So say you used to be a mechanic. When you’re ready, they’ll go to a garage, and they’ll say, if you employ this guy for a year, we’ll pay half his wages. The goal was to make sure that every addict in Portugal had something to get out of bed for in the morning. And when I went and met the addicts in Portugal, what they said is, as they rediscovered purpose, they rediscovered bonds and relationships with the wider society.

10:00
It’ll be 15 years this year since that experiment began, and the results are in: injecting drug use is down in Portugal, according to the British Journal of Criminology, by 50 percent, five-zero percent. Overdose is massively down, HIV is massively down among addicts. Addiction in every study is significantly down. One of the ways you know it’s worked so well is that almost nobody in Portugal wants to go back to the old system.

10:23
Now, that’s the political implications. I actually think there’s a layer of implications to all this research below that. We live in a culture where people feel really increasingly vulnerable to all sorts of addictions, whether it’s to their smartphones or to shopping or to eating. Before these talks began — you guys know this — we were told we weren’t allowed to have our smartphones on, and I have to say, a lot of you looked an awful lot like addicts who were told their dealer was going to be unavailable for the next couple of hours. (Laughter) A lot of us feel like that, and it might sound weird to say, I’ve been talking about how disconnection is a major driver of addiction and weird to say it’s growing, because you think we’re the most connected society that’s ever been, surely. But I increasingly began to think that the connections we have or think we have, are like a kind of parody of human connection. If you have a crisis in your life, you’ll notice something. It won’t be your Twitter followers who come to sit with you. It won’t be your Facebook friends who help you turn it round. It’ll be your flesh and blood friends who you have deep and nuanced and textured, face-to-face relationships with, and there’s a study I learned about from Bill McKibben, the environmental writer, that I think tells us a lot about this. He looked at the number of close friends the average American believes they can call on in a crisis. That number has been declining steadily since the 1950s. The amount of floor space an individual has in their home has been steadily increasing, and I think that’s like a metaphor for the choice we’ve made as a culture. We’ve traded floorspace for friends, we’ve traded stuff for connections, and the result is we are one of the loneliest societies there has ever been. And Bruce Alexander, the guy who did the Rat Park experiment, says, we talk all the time in addiction about individual recovery, and it’s right to talk about that, but we need to talk much more about social recovery. Something’s gone wrong with us, not just with individuals but as a group, and we’ve created a society where, for a lot of us, life looks a whole lot more like that isolated cage and a whole lot less like Rat Park.

12:15
If I’m honest, this isn’t why I went into it. I didn’t go in to the discover the political stuff, the social stuff. I wanted to know how to help the people I love. And when I came back from this long journey and I’d learned all this, I looked at the addicts in my life, and if you’re really candid, it’s hard loving an addict, and there’s going to be lots of people who know in this room. You are angry a lot of the time, and I think one of the reasons why this debate is so charged is because it runs through the heart of each of us, right? Everyone has a bit of them that looks at an addict and thinks, I wish someone would just stop you.

And the kind of scripts we’re told for how to deal with the addicts in our lives is typified by, I think, the reality show “Intervention,” if you guys have ever seen it. I think everything in our lives is defined by reality TV, but that’s another TED Talk. If you’ve ever seen the show “Intervention,” it’s a pretty simple premise. Get an addict, all the people in their life, gather them together, confront them with what they’re doing, and they say, if you don’t shape up, we’re going to cut you off. So what they do is they take the connection to the addict, and they threaten it, they make it contingent on the addict behaving the way they want. And I began to think, I began to see why that approach doesn’t work, and I began to think that’s almost like the importing of the logic of the Drug War into our private lives.

13:33
So I was thinking, how could I be Portuguese? And what I’ve tried to do now, and I can’t tell you I do it consistently and I can’t tell you it’s easy, is to say to the addicts in my life that I want to deepen the connection with them, to say to them, I love you whether you’re using or you’re not. I love you, whatever state you’re in, and if you need me, I’ll come and sit with you because I love you and I don’t want you to be alone or to feel alone.

14:00
And I think the core of that message — you’re not alone, we love you — has to be at every level of how we respond to addicts, socially, politically and individually. For 100 years now, we’ve been singing war songs about addicts. I think all along we should have been singing love songs to them, because the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.

14:27
Thank you.

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