HOW TO BE KIND

How to Be Kind

Three Parts:Developing a Kinder Perspective Developing Kind Qualities Taking Action Community  Q&A

Being kind is a vital way of bringing meaning to our own lives as well as the lives of others. Being kind allows us to communicate better, be more compassionate, and also to be a positive force in people’s lives. Kindness has its true source deep within you, and while some people are innately kind, it’s something that everyone can cultivate by choice.

Part 1

Developing a Kinder Perspective

  1. Care for others genuinely. At its most basic, kindness is about caring genuinely for others around you, wanting the best for them, and recognizing in them the same wants, needs, aspirations, and even fears that you have too. Kindness is warm, resilient, patient, trusting, loyal, and grateful.[1] Piero Ferrucci sees kindness as being about “making less effort” because it frees us from getting knotted up in negative attitudes and feelings such as resentment, jealousy, suspicion, and manipulation.[2] Ultimately, kindness is deep caring for all beings.
    • Practice kindness and generosity toward others. Being out of practice, being shy, or not knowing how to reach out to others can only be overcome in the doing, by continually trying until it becomes a natural impulse to be kind and giving to others.
    • Ask for nothing in return. The greatest kindness expects nothing, comes with no strings attached, and places no conditions on anything done or said.

 

  1. Don’t be kind for the sake of getting what you want. Beware of deluded kindness. Kindness is not about “self-interested politeness, calculated generosity, superficial etiquette”.[3] Simply being nice to other people because you believe that this will manipulate them into giving you what you want in life, or as a means of controlling them, is not kindness. Nor is kindness about pretending to care for someone all the while repressing anger or contempt; hiding our rage or frustration behind false pleasantries is not kindness.
    • Finally, being a people pleaser is not kindness; that’s simply behavior designed to give in and not rock the boat because you’re afraid that taking a step forward will sink the ship.

 

  1. Be kind to yourself. Many people make the error of trying to be kind to others while at the same time not focusing on being kind to themselves. Some of this can stem from not liking aspects of yourself, but more often than not, it’s sourced in the inability to know yourself better. And unfortunately, when you don’t feel rock solid within yourself, your kindness to others risks falling into the deluded types of kindness described in the previous step. Or, it can lead to burn-out and disillusionment because you’ve put everyone else first.
    • Self-knowledge allows you to see what causes you pain and conflict, and enables you to embrace your contradictions and inconsistencies. It allows the space to work on things about yourself that you’re not happy with. In turn, self-knowledge helps to prevent you from projecting your negative aspects onto other people, thereby empowering you to treat other people with love and kindness.[4].
    • Take time to become more self-aware and use this learning to be kinder to both yourself (remembering that we all have weaknesses) and to others. In this way, your inner angst is being dealt with rather than fueling your need to project the hurt and pain.
    • Avoid viewing time taken to become more aware of your own needs and limits as an act of selfishness; far from it, it is a vital pre-condition to being able to reach out to other people with great strength and awareness.
    • Ask yourself what you think it means to be kinder to yourself. For many people, being kinder to themselves includes monitoring the chatter in your thoughts and stopping your negative thinking.

 

  1. Learn kindness from others. Think about the truly kind people in your life and how they make you feel. Do you carry their warm glow around in your heart every time you think of them? It is likely that you do because kindness lingers, warming you even when the hardest challenges face you. When other people find a way to love you for who you are, it’s impossible to forget such trust and confirmation of worthiness, and their kindness lives on forever.
    • Remember how other people’s kindness “makes your day”. What is it about their kindness that makes you feel special and cherished? Are there things that they do that you can replicate from your own heart?

 

  1. Cultivate kindness for the good of your own health. Improved psychological health and happiness comes from thinking more positively, and kindness is a positive mental state. While kindness is about giving and being open to others, giving kindness returns a sense of well-being and connection to us that improves our own mental state and health.
    • Although simple, the very ability to be kind is in itself a powerful and consistent reward, a self-esteem booster.[5]

 

  1. Make a habit of focusing on kindness. Leo Babauta says that kindness is a habit and is one that everyone can cultivate. He suggests focusing on kindness every day for a month. At the end of this directed focus, you’ll be aware of profound changes in your life, you’ll feel better about yourself as a person, and you’ll find that people react to you differently, including treating you better. As he says, in the long run, being kind is karma in practice.[6] Suggestions to help cultivate your kindness include:
    • Do one kind thing for someone every day. Make a conscious decision at the beginning of the day what that kind act will be and make time to do it during the day.
    • Be kind, friendly, and compassionate when you interact with someone, and even more so where that person normally makes you angry, stressed, or bothered. Use kindness as your strength.
    • Build up your small acts of kindness into larger acts of compassion. Volunteering for those in need and taking the initiative to relieve suffering are bigger acts of compassion.[7]
    • Meditate to help spread kindness. Read Practice Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta) for more details.

 

  1. Be kind to everyone, not just people “in need”. Expand your circle of kindness. It can be very easy to be kind when we’re unconsciously doing what Stephanie Dowrick terms “patronizing kindness”.[8] This refers to kindness given to those people we feel are truly in need (the sick, the poor, the vulnerable, and those who align with our own ideals). Being kind to people close to us, emotionally (like family or friends) or in other ways (from the same country, of the same color, gender etc.), is also easier than being kind to those the philosopher Hegel called “the other”. It can be more difficult to be kind to people we may consider our equals, but it will be worth it.
    • The trouble with restricting our kindness to “convenient” cases is that we fail to recognize that we need to be kind to everyone, no matter who they are, their level of wealth or fortune, their values and beliefs, their behavior and attitudes, their place of origin, their likeness to ourselves, etc.
    • By choosing to be kind only to those we feel are deserving of kindness, we are unleashing our own biases and judgment, and only practicing conditional kindness. Natural kindness encompasses all beings and while the challenges you’ll face when trying to put this broader notion of kindness into practice will sometimes be trying, you’ll never stop learning about the depths of your ability to be truly kind.
    • If you’re neglecting being kind to someone else just because you think they can cope without your support or understanding, then you’re practicing selective kindness.

 

  1. Minimize judgment. If you really want to be kind, then you have to kick your judgment to the curb. Instead of spending your time being critical of other people, work on being positive and compassionate. If you tend to think poorly of others, wish other people could step up their game, or feel like the people around you are needy or clueless, then you’ll never learn true kindness. Stop judging people and realize that you’ll never fully understand where they’re coming from unless you walk a day in their shoes. Focus on wanting to help others instead of judging them for not being better than they are.
    • If you’re judgmental, prone to gossip, or just always bad-mouthing the people around you, you’ll never be able to move past your reservations to be kind.
    • Being kind means giving people the benefit of the doubt instead of expecting perfection.

Be Kind

Part 2

Developing Kind Qualities

  1. Be compassionate toward others. It’s important to take in the message, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”. Attributed to Plato, this saying is a recognition that everyone is undergoing some challenge or other in their lives and that sometimes, it’s all too easy for us to lose sight of that when embroiled in our own problems or anger against them. Before committing an action that might impact another person negatively, ask yourself a simple question: “Is this kind?”. If you cannot answer this in the affirmative, this is a reminder to change your action and approach immediately.
    • Even where you’re feeling at your very worst, remember that other people are also feeling uncertainty, pain, hardship, sadness, disappointment, and loss. In no way does this belittle your own feelings but it does allow you to realize that people often react from their hurt and pain rather than from their whole self, and kindness is the key to seeing past the raging emotions and connecting with the real person inside.

 

  1. Don’t expect perfection. If you have a tendency toward perfectionism, competitiveness, or a driven sense of urgency, self-kindness can often be a victim of your ambition and fast pace, as well as your fear of being seen to be lazy or selfish.[9] Remember to slow down and to forgive yourself when things don’t work out as wished.
    • Learn from your mistakes rather than beating yourself up over them, or comparing yourself to others.[10] It is through self-compassionate responses that you can start to see other people’s needs in a compassionate light.
  2. Be present. The greatest gift of kindness to another person is to be in the moment in their presence, to be listening with care, and to be genuinely attentive to them. Schedule your day differently, and stop being known as the person who always rushes off. Being present means being available; you can only do this if you’re not rushing or squeezing in people and activities.
    • Ease off the technical means of communicating with others. Impersonal and hurried technical communications like text and email have their place in life, but not as your only means of communicating. Take time to connect with people face-to-face, or via an uninterrupted phone call. Send a letter instead of an email and surprise someone with the kindness of your having taken time out of your day to put pen to paper.

 

  1. Be a good listener. The act of listening is easier said than done in our fast-paced world, where rushing and being busy are seen as virtues; where cutting someone off because you’re too busy, or you need to get somewhere in a hurry, is the norm. Making being busy into a habit is no excuse for unkindness, however. When talking to someone, learn to listen with your whole being and sincerely pay attention to them until they’re done revealing their thoughts and story.
    • Truly listening to someone, making eye contact, avoiding all distractions, and giving a person the time of day is one of the greatest acts of kindness. Take the time to truly absorb what the person is saying before responding with a pre-made answer or interrupting. Show the person that you appreciate the unique situation he’s in and that you’re there to lend an ear.
    • Being a good listener doesn’t mean being a great problem solver. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just be there to listen, while acknowledging that you don’t know what the person should do.

 

  1. Be optimistic. Happiness, joy, and gratitude rest at the heart of kindness, allowing you to see the good in others and the world, enabling you to press through the challenges, despair, and cruelty you witness and experience, continuously restoring your sense of faith in humanity. Maintaining an optimistic attitude ensures that acts of kindness are committed with genuine joy and cheerfulness rather than with reluctance or out of a sense of duty or service. And keeping your sense of humor ensures that you don’t take yourself too seriously and take life’s contradictory and contrary moments with good faith.
    • It’s not always easy to be optimistic, especially when you’ve had a crummy day. But with enough practice, anyone can cultivate optimism by focusing on the positive instead of the negative, thinking ahead to happy things in the future, and living a life that is filled with more joy than sadness. And it doesn’t cost a dollar to look on the brighter side of things, either.
    • Being optimistic and staying positive will not only put you in more of a mindset to be kind, but it will also bring joy to those around you. If you spend much of your time complaining, then it will be more difficult to bring happiness to the people in your orbit.
    • Read How to be happy, How to be funny, and How to be thankful for more information on how to cultivate optimism.

 

  1. Be friendly. People who are kind tend to also be friendly. This doesn’t mean they are the most outgoing people in the room, but that they make an effort to get to know new people and to make them feel at home. If there’s someone new at your school or workplace, you can try to talk to that person, explain how things work, and even invite him or her to social events. Even if you’re not outgoing, just smiling and making small talk with people can go a long way in making you friendlier, and this kindness will not go unnoticed.
    • Friendly people are kind because they expect the best from people. They talk to new people and friends alike in an easygoing, reassuring way that makes them feel at home.
    • If you’re naturally shy, you don’t have to change your personality completely. Just make a bit more of an effort to be nice to people by giving them your attention, asking them how they are, and showing an interest in them.

 

  1. Be polite. Although being polite is not an indication of kindness in itself, genuine politeness demonstrates your respect for those you’re interacting with. Being polite is the kind way of getting people’s attention and putting your point across. Some simple ways to do this include:
    • Find ways to rephrase your requests or responses to others. For example, say “May I?” instead of “Can I?”; say “I’m surprised” instead of “That’s not fair”; say “Let me explain that another way” instead of saying “That’s not what I said”. Rephrasing your language speaks volumes.
    • Have excellent manners. Hold doors open for people, avoid being overly vulgar in person, and don’t be overly familiar with new people.
    • Make compliments and mean them.
    • Read How to practice courtesy and kindness for more ideas.

 

  1. Be grateful. People who are truly kind are easily able to express gratitude. They don’t take anything for granted and always thank people for helping them out. They know how to say “thank you” and really mean it, they write thank-you cards, and they are comfortable with acknowledging when they have been helped. People who are grateful also thank people just because, for things like making their days brighter, instead of only thanking them for completing specific tasks. If you make a habit of being more grateful to the people around you, you’ll see that your capacity for kinds will increase.
    • If you’re more observant of all the nice things other people do for you, then you’ll be more ready to do nice things for others. You’ll be more aware of how good the kindness of others makes you feel and will feel more inclined to spread the love.

Be Kind

Part 3

Taking Action

  1. Love animals and the living world. Loving animals and caring for pets is kindness in action. Nothing compels you to care about beings of another species, especially in a day and age where the tools of human domination are so powerful. And yet, the very act of loving an animal and respecting the animal for its own value is an expression of deep kindness. As well, being kind to the world that sustains and nurtures us is sensible as well as kind, ensuring that we don’t poison the very elements that assure us a healthy life.
    • Adopt or foster a pet. Your kindness will be rewarded by letting another being into your life who will bring you joy and love.
    • Offer to pet-sit for a friend who is going away. Give your friend the reassurance that someone loving and caring will be tending to her pet while she’s away.
    • Respect the species you’re caring for. Humans don’t “own” animals; rather, we stand in a relationship of being responsible for their well-being and care.
    • Take time to restore parts of your local environment with the local community. Go for walks in nature with family, friends, alone, and commune with the world that you’re a part of. Share your love for nature with others, to help reawaken their sense of connection with nature.

 

  1. Share. People who are kind are happy to share with others. You can share your favorite sweater, half of your delicious enchilada, or even words of career advice to someone younger than you. The important thing is that you’re sharing something that you actually care about, instead of giving away something you don’t really need. It’s much more meaningful to let your friend borrow your favorite sweater than to give her an old hand-me-down you never wear. Sharing with people will make you more generous and thus, more inclined towards kindness.
    • Keep an eye out for people who would really benefit from some of the things you have. They may not always ask for them, but you can offer them readily before they admit that they need something from you.

 

  1. Smile more. Smiling is a simple act of kindness that can go a long way. Make a habit of smiling at strangers, or at your friends or acquaintances. Though you don’t have to walk around with a smile plastered on your face, smiling at people will make them smile back, and will bring even a modicum of joy to their days. What’s more, smiling can actually trick your mind into feeling happier than it previously was. Everybody wins when you smile, and your capacity for kindness will grow in the process.
    • Smiling at people will also make them more comfortable and will make you look more approachable, which is another way of being kind. Being welcoming to others, and even giving strangers the benefit of the doubt by smiling at them, is another way of being kind.

 

  1. Take an interest in people. People who are truly kind are genuinely interested in other people. They aren’t kind to them just because they want to get what they want or because they are fishing for a favor. They do it because they genuinely care about how people are doing and want those around them to be happy and healthy. To be more kind, work on developing an interest in other people and show them that you care by being attentive, asking questions, and paying attention to them. Here are some ways to take an interest in people:
    • Ask people how they are and mean it.
    • Ask people about their hobbies, interests, and families.
    • If someone you cared about had a big life event, ask that person how it went.
    • If someone you know has a big exam or interview coming up, wish him or her luck.
    • When you talk to people, make sure they are doing at least about half of the talking. Don’t dominate a conversation and focus more on the other person than yourself.
    • Make eye contact and put away your cell phone when you talk to people. Show that they are your first priority.

 

  1. Call up a friend just because. You don’t always need a reason to call up a good friend. Make a goal of calling one friend per week, or even two friends per week, just to catch up and see how that person is doing. Don’t call to make plans or to ask that person something specific; call just because you miss your friend and have been thinking about him or her. Getting in touch with your friends out of the blue will make them feel cared for and will make you feel good; this shows kindness and thoughtfulness.
    • If you’re really short on time, you can start by making a habit of calling up your friends on their birthdays. Don’t be lazy and send a text message or even a Facebook post, but give your friend a phone call from the heart.

 

  1. Donate your things. Another way to be kind is to donate some of your belongings to charity. Instead of throwing out your old things or selling them for 50 cents at a garage sale, donate the things you don’t need to a good cause. If you have clothes, books, or other household items that are in good condition, then making a habit of donating these things to charity instead of storing them up or tossing them is a great way to spread your kindness to others.
    • If you have some clothes or books that someone you know would want, then don’t be shy about donating those items to that person. This is another way of being kind.

 

  1. Do a random act of kindness. “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” These are the words once said by Princess Diana. The practice of random acts of kindness is alive and well as a conscious effort to spread more kindness; there are even groups that have established themselves to perform this essential civic duty! Here are some great random acts of kindness you can do:
    • Shovel a neighbor’s driveway as well as your own.
    • Wash a friend’s car.
    • Put money into an expired meter.
    • Help someone carry a heavy bag.
    • Leave a gift on someone’s doorstep.
    • For more details on practicing random acts of kindness, read How to practice random acts of kindness.

 

  1. Transform your life through kindness. Changing how you live and how you view the world might seem daunting. But take a note of Aldous Huxley’s prescription for transforming your life: “People often ask me what is the most effective technique for transforming their life. It is a little embarrassing that after years and years of research and experimentation, I have to say that the best answer is–just be a little kinder.”[11] Take Huxley’s many years of research to heart and allow kindness to transform your life, to transcend all feelings and actions of aggression, hate, despising, anger, fear, and self-deprecation, and to restore strength worn away by despair.
    • Through being kind, you take a stand by affirming that caring for others, for our environment, for yourself is the right way to live life.[12] It isn’t about immediate effectiveness; kindness is a lifestyle choice, a constant hum and rhythm accompanying every single thing that you think and do.
    • Through being kind, you let go of the burden of worrying that others have more than you, are less or more deserving than you, or are in a position of superiority or inferiority to you. Instead, kindness assumes everyone is worthy, you included.
    • Through being kind, you recognize that we are all in this together. When you harm another person, you also harm yourself. What you do to support others also supports you.

Community Q&A

  • How do I be kind when I am upset, sad, or grumpy?

Recognize your emotional state and find ways to calm yourself: deep breaths, taking some alone time, et cetera. Focus entirely on the other person. If you’re too upset to handle it, say “I’m upset and I can’t be a good listener right now.” Give yourself patience and time, and don’t push things before you’re ready.

 

  • How can I be kind to others when I feel empty or don’t care about others?

If you feel this way, you need to start by being kind to yourself first. You’re projecting what you feel deep inside about yourself — empty and without self care. Spend some time caring for your own self and needs first, perhaps getting counseling for unresolved issues that are holding you back from being your best self. When you learn to love yourself and take good care of you, then you’ll find it much easier to be kind to others.

 

  • How do you be nice to people when they are always attacking you, physically or emotionally?

Rise above and do your best to remove those people from your life. Dealing with not nice people isn’t always fun or fair, but you will thank yourself for staying true to your kind self.

  • How do I remain calm when I feel like someone’s using me?

If you feel like someone is using you, tell them your feelings directly. If they are your friend, they will not be mad at you for sharing your opinion. If you’re having trouble staying calm around this person, you may want to take a break from spending time with them.

 

  • Do I have to be kind even when some people never appreciate my kindness?

Being kind for the sake of being kind doesn’t require appreciation in return. If you place a condition on kindness, then it’s not really being kind. There are many reasons why people aren’t instantly or obviously appreciative, including astonishment, exhaustion, slowness to respond, obtuseness, quiet appreciation, etc. Some people are rude but that just means more kindness is needed. It may also help you to understand that it’s more about your karma, not theirs, without being a doormat, of course.

  • Am I ever too old to make this change?

No, you’re never too old. Everyone of every age can benefit from being kinder. If you’ve been mean your whole life, it might take people some time to adjust to your change of heart, but it’s worth it!

  • Why do we need to learn kindness from others?

It’s not so much about learning kindness as about unlearning all the defensiveness that socializing teaches us. We feel safer being defensive and self/family protective, and this is part of our ancient ancestral understandings that enhance survival. Kindness often forces us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, to understand where they’re coming from even if we don’t usually think like them. It also requires a spirit of generosity and care for strangers, which can sometimes be difficult when we worry about our own/own family’s needs. Yet, kindness begets kindness, so it is often through seeing others’ kindness that we learn it has beneficial, supportive and caring outcomes that each of us aspires to in the greater scheme of life.

Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Kind

 

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55 Inspiring Quotes On Emotional Intelligence

55 Inspiring Quotes On Emotional Intelligence

Call Richard Taylor 678-576-1913

Here’s some inspiration in case you missed it….By Gordon Tredgold

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55 Inspiring Quotes That Show the Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a major factor in our success.

BY GORDON TREDGOLD
Founder and CEO, Leadership Principles@gordontredgold

Emotional intelligence can be the most potent weapon in our armory. It helps boost our self-awareness, self-control, motivation, empathy, and social skills, relationship management, all of which help us become much better leaders.

Here are 55 quotes to remind us of the power and importance of emotional intelligence and why we should focus on developing it further.

 

  1. If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. -Daniel Goleman
  2. 75 percent of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.  -Center for Creative Leadership
  3. When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion. -Dale Carnegie
  4. When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves. -Jess C. Scott
  5. The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart.
    -Rasheed Ogunlaru
  6. No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
    -Theodore Roosevelt
  7. Unleash in the right time and place before you explode at the wrong time and place. -Oli Anderson
  8. The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions. -John Hancock
  9. In a high-IQ job pool, soft skills like discipline, drive, and empathy mark those who emerge as outstanding. -Daniel Goleman
  10. Any person capable of angering you becomes your master. -Epictetus
  11. Anyone can be angry–that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way–that is not easy. -Aristotle
  12. Every time we allow someone to move us with anger, we teach them to be angry.  -Barry Neil Kaufman
  13. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. -Leo Buscaglia
  14. Emotions can get in the way or get you on the way. -Mavis Mazhura
  15. Experience is not what happens to you–it’s how you interpret what happens to you. -Aldous Huxley
  16. Running a marathon with a backpack is tough and may hinder you from winning the race. Don’t let the baggage from your past–heavy with fear, guilt, and anger–slow you down.  -Maddy Malhotra
  17. Our feelings are not there to be cast out or conquered. They’re there to be engaged and expressed with imagination and intelligence. -T.K. Coleman
  18. When you make people angry, they act in accordance with their baser instincts, often violently and irrationally. When you inspire people, they act in accordance with their higher instincts, sensibly and rationally. Also, anger is transient, whereas inspiration sometimes has a lifelong effect. -Peace Pilgrim
  19. It isn’t stress that makes us fall–it’s how we respond to stressful events.
    -Wayde Goodall
  20. Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame. -Benjamin Franklin
  21. Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.  -Robert K. Cooper, PhD
  22. It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head–it is the unique intersection of both. -David Caruso
  23. We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions. -Salovey and Mayer
  24. For news of the heart, ask the face. -West African saying
  25. Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it. -Vincent van Gogh
  26. Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand … prejudice, fear, and ignorance walk hand in hand. -Peart
  27. The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action while reason leads to conclusions. -Donald Calne
  28. You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind. -Dale Carnegie
  29. Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you. -Roger Ebert
  30. Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions–so find out how to light their fires. -Jeff Dewar
  31. If we lack emotional intelligence, whenever stress rises the human brain switches to autopilot and has an inherent tendency to do more of the same, only harder.  Which, more often than not, is precisely the wrong approach in today’s world.
    -Robert K. Cooper
  32. Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business. -Norman Vincent Peale
  33. To increase your effectiveness, make your emotions subordinate to your commitments. -Brian Koslow
  34. When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air. -Stephen R. Covey
  35. Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution. -Kahlil Gibran
  36. Remember that failure is an event, not a person. -Zig Ziglar
  37. We are at our most powerful the moment we no longer need to be powerful. -Eric Micha’el Leventhal
  38. I’m a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will. -Antonio Gramsci
  39. It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently. -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  40. A leader is a dealer in hope. -Napoleon Bonaparte
  41. When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. -Ernest Hemingway
  42. Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone … just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. -F. Scott Fitzgerald
  43. Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion, and empathy. -Dean Koontz
  44. He’d always known that shit rolled downhill, but he never knew tears did the same thing. -Amy Lane
  45. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. -C.G. Jung
  46. Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.  -Janis Joplin
  47. Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one’s awareness of one’s ignorance.
    -Anthony de Mello
  48. The way to do is to be. -Lao Tzu
  49. The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
    -Carl R. Rogers
  50. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. -Socrates
  51. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, do we have the right to laugh at others? -C.H. Hamel
  52. Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. -Jack Welch
  53. In my 35 years in business, I have always trusted my emotions. I have always believed that by touching emotion you get the best people to work with you, the best clients to inspire you, the best partners and most devoted customers.
    -Kevin Roberts
  54. One way to boost our willpower and focus is to manage our distractions instead of letting them manage us. -Daniel Goleman
  55. Emotional intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80 percent of the “success” in our lives. -J. Freedman

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

PUBLISHED ON: AUG 4, 2016

Source: http://www.inc.com/gordon-tredgold/55-inspiring-quotes-that-show-the-importance-of-emotional-intelligence.html

 

________________________________________________

 

CONTACT       Call Richard Taylor 678-576-1913

Emotional Intelligence

 

Richard Taylor, BS, CAMF
ATLANTA ANGER MANAGEMENT
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200
Atlanta, GA 30342 USA
Cell: 678-576-1913

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Homicides in the US

 

 

 

CONTACT:

Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
ATLANTA ANGER MANAGEMENT
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200
Atlanta, GA 30342 USA
Phone: 678-576-1913
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Anger Management Classes
Anger Management Private Sessions
Anger Management Assessment Evaluations
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Doctor Suspended After Video Shows Her Allegedly Attacking Uber Driver

Video Shows Miami Doctor Allegedly Attacking Uber Driver

 

Published on Jan 22, 2016

A Florida doctor was allegedly caught on camera physically and verbally attacking an Uber driver in Miami. Dr. Anjali Ramkissoon apparently jumped into the Uber car ahead of another passenger. In the video, Ramkissoon can be seen trying to hit the driver and apparently knees him in the groin. He pushes her and she falls to the ground. She gets right up and climbs in the car, screaming at the driver to get back in. Ramkissoon, who specializes in headaches, has been put on administrative leave.

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Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Richard Taylor

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
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Emotions Series – Anger | Most Epic Angry Dark Music Mix

Emotions Series – Anger | Most Epic Angry Dark Music Mix

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Richard Taylor’ Owner/Director of Atlanta Anger Management offers you an Unique Approach to helping you with anger issues, rage, couples conflict, melt downs, doing and saying stupid things.

Private Sessions best if you want fast action turn-around in your life. Solo or Couple.

Get help before you self-destruct. Discrete, no signs. Confidential.

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Spending money on helping yourself become less reactive, explosive, judgmental, less jealous is a small investment. Think of the money you blow in your entire life…?
Years ahead a calmer more rational you…can you see that? Look…imagine…see it…

It Is Possible! #itispossible #lessangry #atlangerman #remaincalm

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Law of Vibration – Bob Proctor

Law of Vibration – Bob Proctor

” We literally live in an ocean of motion.” – Bob Proctor

Understanding the #LawOfVibration is essential for a fulfilled life. Watch and change the way you are, how you see things, your control of your emotions. It affects your Health, Relationships, Wealth, even Selling of your idea, product or service. Learn to be in harmony with the Universal vibrations of the cosmos and world and fulfill your purpose. #atlangerman


Vibration-Levels-Of-Emotions

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Richard TaylorRichard Taylor #atlangerman  @atlangerman
Owner/Director of Atlanta Anger Management is passionate about helping people be intelligent with their emotions!

To get to that place that Mr. Proctor speaks about in this video. The “space” between situation and response. We do have a choice in how we react to situations, people, events. Even our own thoughts and feelings.

Anger Classes and Private Sessions are offered.
In most cases we can help you quickly shift to that better place for more positive interactions and consequences.

Call Richard at 678-576-1913 or e-mail to get started
bringing in 2016 with a #BANG! And #CALMER

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

EXTREME ROAD RAGE CBS46 REPORT

Road Rage: Misunderstandings turn dangerous with weapons involved

Posted: Nov 04, 2015 2:18 PM EST Updated: Nov 04, 2015 6:06 PM EST

ATLANTA (CBS46) –

With drivers in Atlanta ranked as some of the most discourteous on the road, commutes can turn into disputes.

When weapons are involved, a misunderstanding on the roadway can turn dangerous, and in the Atlanta area’s traffic, we’ve seen it happen all too often.

“Do you want to go home tonight?”

Richard Taylor with Atlanta Anger Management is an expert on rage.

“Is it worth it to get engaged with a driver who you don’t know has a gun or not?” Taylor said. “Do you want to eat tonight? Do you want to go home tonight? That becomes the question.”

Taylor said as we’re driving around the seemingly never-ending cluster of cars Atlanta is famous for incidents that drivers don’t like happen every day.

Some of those drivers come to see Taylor in his office daily and he sees news reports of angry people on the roads.

“They snap,” he said. “They’re losing their conscious ability to be reasonable and they just focus on the one person… That’s the big debate we have in the nation is over access to guns.”

Taylor said stress and anger play major roles in the road rage situation, but if you add a weapon into the mix and it can become a criminal case.

Incidents all too common

A witness to a road rage in Coweta County said, from what she saw, a suspect who pointed a gun at a car used the weapon as a first instinct.

CBS46 News

“Pulling a firearm, in just about every case, should be an absolute last resort and it seems like it was this guy’s first resort” the witness said.

In another incident, a baby was shot in the foot in what police determined was a dispute on the road in DeKalb County.

In the case of the aforementioned Corvette driver, she reportedly gestured to the car behind her to go around, and the driver of the Mustang opened fire.

So what can you to avoid road rage situations? Professionals suggest NOT flashing your lights and avoiding any sort of reaction to other drivers, including hand gestures.

Getting out of your car should never be an option, experts say.

If you’re prone to getting angry, officials say it’s best not to carry your gun in the car.

Copyright 2015 WGCL-TV (Meredith Corporation). All rights reserved.

How To Drive Defensively

How to Drive Defensively

Adopting defensive-driving techniques can keep you safe on the road and may even save you money and your life! Many insurance companies reduce policyholders’ premiums if they maintain accident-free driving records or take an accredited course on defensive-driving techniques. If you want to learn how to drive defensively, follow these steps.

  1. Stay focused, keeping your hands on the wheel. Defensive drivers concentrate on the road, keeping their hands at the 10 o’clock-2 o’clock position. They don’t do other tasks while driving, some of which are illegal. These include:
    • Eating
    • Applying makeup
    • Holding a dog
    • Tending to a child
    • Operating a hand-held cell phone
    • Texting
  1. Keep your eyes moving. Continuously look in your mirrors and scan the road ahead, checking for hazards and slowing traffic so you can anticipate problems before they develop.
  2. Stay alert. Don’t drive if you’re tired, upset, or angry.
  3. Go with the flow. Most drivers know that speeding is a major cause of accidents, but driving too slow can be dangerous, too. Drive at speeds that most other vehicles are going.
  4. Use the 2 second rule on heavily traveled roads to maintain adequate spacing with the car in front of you.
    • Choose a fixed object on the road ahead of you.
    • Count “1 independence, 2 independence” when the car in front of you goes by the object. If you pass the same object before you’re done counting, slow down a bit. The 2 second rule helps reduce the chance of a rear-end collision when cars in front make sudden stops.
  1. Make yourself visible. Many accidents occur because drivers didn’t see the other car. There are a few simple ways to make your presence known, making the road safer for everyone. They include:
    • Turn signals: Use your turn signals to let other drivers know where you’re going. By using your blinkers, other drivers will be able to anticipate your actions and slow down safely.
    • Headlights: Turn on your headlights at dusk or anytime it is raining. This is more for other drivers to see you than for you to see the road. In some states it is illegal to drive without your headlights on while the windshield wipers are in operation.
    • Brake lights: Operational brake lights are a safety must. They warn cars behind you that you’re slowing down, signaling them to reduce speed, too.
    • Avoid blind spots: Don’t linger in areas where the driver in front of you can’t see you. Many people will only check their mirrors before making a lane change. If you’re lurking slightly behind and a lane away from another vehicle, assume that the driver of that car can’t see you. Either safely speed up or slow down to avoid this scenario, which often results in an accident. This is an important defensive-driving technique.
  1. Resist road rage. Aggressive drivers may infuriate you, but retaliating with similar tactics is dangerous. Take a passive approach in dealing with road rage. Use these strategies in specific road-rage scenarios:
    • Tailgaters: If the driver behind you is right on your bumper, tap the brakes a few times to let the driver know that he’s not maintaining a safe distance. If he stays on your tail, slow down gradually. Chances are the tailgater will eventually pass you.
    • Speeders: If you see a car speeding or aggressively changing lanes behind you, stay in your lane while maintaining your speed.
  1. Adapt to road conditions. Even light rain can produce dangerous conditions, particularly early in the season when the water picks up oil from the road surface, making it slippery. Tires lose their grip at higher speeds, so slowing down in inclement weather is a fundamental defensive-driving technique.
  2. Familiarize yourself with traffic rules. Refresh your memory by browsing a Department of Motor Vehicles pamphlet detailing the rules of the road. It provides guidelines on rights of way, road signs, traffic law, and contains tips on safe driving.
  3. Avoid Rear-Enders in Intersections: Move only when it is clear. Sometimes an intersection gets backed up with traffic.
    • If you’re the first car to go at green, make sure traffic on the other side of the intersection that you are moving into has cleared before you decide to go. This can prevent you from getting in a situation where you might get T-boned if you get stuck or stalled in an intersection.
    • Turning into an intersection: a lot of rear-end collisions happen when the driver behind you assumes you are going to complete the turn, even if traffic is backed up.
    • Give yourself enough room: if you must stop in an intersection, slow down carefully and keep distance from any other cars that have yet to complete the intersection. If the person behind you ‘flip-flops’ and rear-ends your car, you’ll save yourself the trouble the car in front of you is not involved. No fun having dents front And back.

Source:     http://www.wikihow.com/Drive-Defensively

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/atlangerman/
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About.Me www.about.me/richardtaylorAAM

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Atlanta Is Rated The 2nd Least Courteous Drivers In US

AutoVantage Survey on Road Rage Identifies Atlanta as 2nd Least Courteous City in the US

Stamford, CT- May 12, 2014- When it comes to getting to and from work, a recent survey says Atlantans have it worse than citizens in just about any other city.

The 2014 In the Driver’s Seat Road Rage Survey identified Atlanta as having the second least courteous drivers across America’s largest cities. This represents an “increase” of two spots from the same survey in 2009.

Rankings were determined by measuring a wide array of driving actions that inhabitants admit to performing and acknowledge seeing, along with observations of their reactions to other drivers.

When compared to drivers in other cities,

Survey Participants in Atlanta are:

  • Most likely to admit purposely bumping another driver in reaction to perceived poor driving
  • Most likely to see another driver speeding
  • Most Likely to acknowledge tailgating someone else
  • 2nd most likely to see other drivers eating or drinking while behind the wheel

While drivers in Atlanta were identified as among the least courteous, Portland, OR was identified as having the most courteous drivers.

The survey’s best and worst cities were:

Least Courteous
2014 2009
Houston New York City
Atlanta Dallas
Baltimore Detroit
Washington DC Atlanta
Boston Minneapolis
Most Courteous
2014 2009
Portland Portland
Pittsburgh Cleveland
St. Louis Baltimore
San Francisco Sacramento
Charlotte Pittsburgh

“AutoVantage aims to provide peace-of-mind for our members, with world class technology that ensures rapid assistance in our customers’ time of need,” said Rob DiPietro, GVP of Product Services for AutoVantage. “The survey prepares our members for the things that they may encounter when driving in a new city.”

The In the Driver’s Seat Road Rage Survey, commissioned by AutoVantage, the complete car and roadside assistance service, measured behavior, observations and attitudes related to “road rage” as reported in America’s 25 largest cities, and provides an update to previous research completed in 2009.

Other cities surveyed in 2014 include Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Los Angeles, Miami, Minneapolis, New York City, Orlando, Philadelphia, Phoenix, San Antonio, San Diego, Seattle and Tampa Bay.

Observations for each city can be found at www.autovantage.com/roadrage.html

__________________________________________________________

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration defines
#roadrage as when a driver “commits moving traffic offenses so as to endanger other persons or property; an assault with a motor vehicle or other dangerous weapon by the operator or passenger of one motor vehicle on the operator or passengers of another motor vehicle”.

The NHTSA makes a clear distinction between road rage and aggressive driving, where road rage is a criminal charge and aggressive driving is a traffic offense. This definition places the blame on the driver.

Road Rage Behavior Among Drivers In U.S. 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

__________________________________________________________

Atlanta Anger Management offers help for:

  • Road Rage
  • Aggressive Driving
  • Stress Management
  • Anger Management
  • Rage Management
  • Assertive Communication Skill Enhancement
  • Learning Self Control Of Emotions
  • Safe Driving


CONTACT:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/atlangerman/
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Yelp: http://www.yelp.com/biz/atlanta-anger-management-atlanta
About.Me www.about.me/richardtaylorAAM

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence