Have The Burdens/Troubles of Life Got You Down? Got Joy? Got Happy?

Do You Have Joy In Your Life?

This question came up in last Saturday’s Anger Management all day class
with one participate answering no. Sadly life had beat him down.

The question became:
” How do I start to get
joyful living back?

Start with Positives. Look for positives in each moment and stay ever present (Mindfulness) changing your negative self talk (scripts).

How? By increasing your Focus Of Intention. Become more self aware of what you are thinking. This is called The Self Observing The Self. When I become aware I am thinking or saying something negative (not nice)…STOP! Reach for the “clicker” called awareness and change the Focus of your thought/talk to something constructive or pleasurable.

Often when we are in an unhappy place in our lives we are ‘stuck” Just frozen in the feeling. We cease to find living an experience of joyfulness. The wonder of children perspective on discovery, learning, just being.

We Need To Get Unstuck.
We Need T0 Change It Up!

-Richard Taylor

All of us at times need to make a decision to change up our life. often this might mean to take a risk. Perhaps move, decide to seek out joy. Google the concepts and become a learner, grow, choose to live again.

Become Positive By Being Positive.
-Richard Taylor

It is hard to drag yourself out of the quicksand of your life! You can do it!

Become creative. Watch positive movies, TV, read positive magazines, Internet articles and blogs and Books! Saturate yourself with new scripts of joy, happiness and positivity!

 


HECTOR AND THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS

 

I just join the I AM HAPPY PROJECT and found this below!

Get Motivated to Get Things Done

Have you ever looked your To-DO List to see that you have much more on your plate than you realized?

Sometimes added responsibilities in your life equal increased opportunities to procrastinate so, its important to remind yourself how to stay motivated and get things done.

Motivation is defined as “the desire to achieve a goal, combined with the energy to work towards it”. If you Google the topic of “Motivation” you will find that most tips on motivation have to do with big goals like losing weight or finding a job. But, sometimes we need motivational strategies for accomplishing the little things in life like doing the laundry or paying your bills.

Below are some motivational strategies that I think will help you get the little things, as well as the big things in your life done.

  • Talk to yourself. We have 50,000 to 70,000 thought a day. Unfortunately, it’s usually to give ourselves negative messages. The next time you are feeling stuck, try talking yourself through the process and giving yourself positive feedback. Talking yourself through the process will help to keep you focused on exactly what you are doing and what comes next and giving yourself positive feedback will motivate you to continue.
  • Connect with the “desire”. Why is it important to get this done? Even if you have a goal that is seemingly undesirable, like doing laundry or paying bills, it’s a lot more motivating to focus on the outcome instead of the act. The goal of paying your bills on time may be to establish and maintain a good credit score. Doing your laundry and having clean clothes will help you look and feel better about yourself, thus getting you that new position at work or meeting mister or miss “right”.
  • Remember you have a choice. Don’t let the need to rebel stop you. It’s important to remember that you do have a choice. Often we are not motivated to do things we think we “have” to do. True, there are things we “should” do in order to avoid unpleasant consequences, but the choice is still ours. So, instead of saying, “I have to finish that report tonight” why not motivate yourself by saying, “I choose to finish the report tonight because I value a sense of completion”.
  • Develop a sense of curiosity. Get curious about something. Formulate a question about what you are doing and work to find answers. Let a sense of wonder motivate you – “I wonder what would happen if I was early for work every day, how much work I could get done?” Challenge yourself to find an answer.
  • Make your goal hard to ignore. Set up reminders so that they are constantly in front of you. For example, if your goal is to do one load of laundry every day, make sure you put the basket of dirty laundry in the middle of the doorway so that you bump into it every time you walk out of the room. Posting visual cues and setting alarms are essential to staying focused and motivated.
  • Use a body double. A body double is simply someone who sits in the same room with you as you work. Sometimes you just need the presence of another person to motivate you to work on an undesirable task. Consider having a friend come over to keep you company while you pay your bills or sort through clutter.
  • Break it down. I have been procrastinating on cleaning out my computer files for months so I decided to break the task into doable pieces. Every day I delete or file at least 10 documents. The strange thing is – by giving myself permission to only do 10, sometimes I feel motivated to do more!
  • Reward yourself. Make it worth your while to complete a task. When you have something to look forward to after the job is done, it will make it a lot more doable. After I finish writing this – I’m going out to rent a movie!
  • Visualize. Before you start working on your goal, try closing your eyes and visualizing yourself doing and completing each step. For example, “I have already visualized how relieved and satisfied I will be when I get this task done”.
  • Change environments. Sometimes what it takes to get motivated and inspired is to change your environment. If you are inside – take your work outdoors or move to another room. Going to the library or a coffee shop can really make a difference. I’ve been known to go and work in my car in order to finish a project. Sometimes moving to another state might be needed, or a travel trip!
  • Make it fun! Find ways to make your fun. Play music you enjoy or watch a funny show while you work. Do unpleasant tasks with friends who can keep you company and cheer you on. Dancing and singing while you do housework should also make for a fun time or at the very least- a good laugh!

To have fun, be fun!
-Richard Taylor

One last thing….Reminder:

Amy Cuddy:
Fake It Until You Become It.

Find Your Joy Coaching:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

QUOTES FOR DAILY MEDITATION

QUOTES FOR DAILY MEDITATION

MEDITATE

Change your life one day at a time.

Practice taking a quote or scripture and read it thoughtfully and meditate on it for a day.

Try to make it a part of your life and grow.

A few I came across:

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
– Viktor E. Frankl 

We are as happy as we make up our minds to be.”
– Abraham Lincoln 

“We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.”
– Carlos Castaneda

 


                             “Happiness is in giving.”

 

“Few of us ever live in the present.
We are forever anticipating what is to come
or remembering what has gone.” – Louis L’Amour

 
 
 

Jesus answered,
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6
 
 
 
“You love in such a way that the person
you love feels free.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
 
 
 

Wherever You Go, There You Are
John Kabat-Zinn
 
 
 

 

50 Happiness Quotes to Change the Way You Think

 

 

God said to Moses, “ I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘ I am has sent me to you.’” Exodus 3:14

 

 

Is your life full of conflict?
20% Happy vs 80% Not Very Happy
Anger gets the best of you?
Do you express yourself with violence?
Life is hell, then you die.
No. Life is what you make it. Attitude is everything.

 

Get help! Do it. Call. Grow.

CONTACT

Richard Taylor  678-576-1913

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence 

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD – ANGER MANAGEMENT – ATLANTA

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Be Impeccable with Your Word is the first of The Four Agreements 2 developed by Don Miguel Ruiz.1

Expressing yourself impeccably is to express yourself in the direction of truth and love. This includes expressing love, respect, and acceptance for yourself.

It is to say what you mean. Do what you say. To live up to your core values and do not violate them.

We should consider our Word to be much more than the words and phrases that we speak. Our words came from our thoughts that come from our beliefs in how the world works, evolved from our socialization process and life experience. So our Word reflects our beliefs, attitude, our cognitive distortions, our emotions, become our words, and resulting physical actions in the things we do.

If we increase our awareness of ourselves, the first step towards growth we start to pay attention to what we believe, think and the words we speak.

Do we do what we say? No? Why?

In my own experience I have people every week who call and set up an appointment for help with anger. We agree on a time and they know the cost. I call them to remind them of the appointment time. They confirm the appointment and then do not call or show up for the appointment. It seems to be more prevalent then people actually appearing for their appointment. Why is this? Today a lot of people do not do what they say. A simple text or phone call cancelling the appointment would be the grown up responsible action to do. People who  break this agreement (Be Impeccable) , do not respect themselves nor other people. They are unreliable people and this manifests in all their relationships. No wonder anger and broken troubled relationships are increasing.

The word fickle 3 comes to my mind. Often people who need real help in Anger Management often are fickle. Old English version says they are deceitful. Not trustworthy.

fick·le  (fkl)

adj.

Characterized by erratic changeableness or instability, especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious.


[Middle English fikel, from Old English ficol, deceitful.]


fickle·ness n.

fickly adv.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


fickle [ˈfɪkəl]

adj

changeable in purpose, affections, etc.; capricious

[Old English ficol deceitful; related to fician to wheedle, befician to deceive]

fickleness  n

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

ThesaurusLegend:  Synonyms Related Words Antonyms

Adj. 1. fickle – marked by erratic changeableness in affections or attachments; “fickle friends”; “a flirt’s volatile affections”volatile

inconstant – likely to change frequently often without apparent or cogent reason; variable; “inconstant affections”; “an inconstant lover”; “swear not by…the inconstant moon”- Shakespeare

2. fickle – liable to sudden unpredictable change; “erratic behavior”; “fickle weather”; “mercurial twists of temperament”; “a quicksilver character, cool and willful at one moment, utterly fragile the next”erraticmercurialquicksilver

changefulchangeable – such that alteration is possible; having a marked tendency to change; ” “changeable moods”

Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2012 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

Self Awareness

Question to ask yourself:

  • Are you good to your Word?
  • Do you do what you say?
  • Do you live up to your core values?
  • Do you respect other people time and affections?
  • Are you reliable?
  • Are you trustworthy?
  • Do you have integrity?

If you answered “No” to any of these above questions, embrace Self Awareness and embrace Be Impeccable to Your Word and change for the better. Work towards truth and love.

These traits seems to be lacking in many people today.

To Be Impeccable with Your Word isn’t as simple as it might seem. Exploring the meaning of this first agreement your understanding of it will expand. Your self-awareness ( a key to personal growth) begins with paying attention to each moment of the day as it unfolds. This is called Mindfulness. You notice your thoughts that used to go unnoticed. You notice your comments that seemed you represent as true but notice they are not based on facts or faith you just copied something your read, heard on TV or YouTube. You notice that some of what you say is really personal beliefs not rooted in truth or love. You become aware of your subtle thoughts, beliefs, words, actions, and expressions of the day. Compared with this agreement Be Impeccable with Your Word things become more challenging than one originally imagined.

To master being impeccable requires that you heighten your awareness not just:

  • The words you say
  • The emotions you express
  • Your attitude
  • Your actions
  • Why you express the power of your belief and where it came from

You will need to develop a discipline of mindfulness to be impeccable in these expressional modes throughout the day.

Looking at emotions that bring up “negative” feelings in us: 4
  • jealousy
  • envy
  • frustration
  • sadness
  • anger
  • anxiety
  • fear
  • sorrow
  • disrespected (dissed)
  • offended
  • disgust
  • hate
  • grief
  • shame
  • embarrassed
  • panic
  • nervousness
  • insulted
  • humiliated
  • isolated
  • defeated
  • hopeless
  • grouchiness
  • moodiness
  • feeling misunderstood
  • isolation
  • alone
  • abandoned
  • self rejection
  • mad
  • enraged

While the feelings are what we feel, often being filtered though our Cognitive Distortions that are not rooted in truth and love. They are what we fall into without discernment. We react to stimuli, to events, to people, to things, and quickly let these “negative” unpleasant feeling wash over us. Many embrace them for days, for weeks, for a life time. Feeling Depressed? You let a feeling or many take a home in you instead of flowing through you as you should.

A key to good Emotional Health is to let our feeling flow through us. They are just a feeling and we observe them, we stay with them, embrace them, even if unpleasant. But they have a time and we let them go and move unto the next feeling. If we focus our attention to a positive experience, a positive thought, and positive action then they will replace the negative.

INCREASE THE POSITIVES

Positive always win over negative. Light always dispels the darkness. Truth always triumphants over lies.  The Sun will shine another day.

  • You can create and change how you feel emotionally by generating emotions, and then you feel them.
  • You can create dynamics of respect in relationship by being silent and active listening attentively.
  • Refrain from emotional reactions can create a different experience for yourself and others.
  • Express caring, compassion, appreciation in the activity of your actions.
  • Create a new different self image by new and different positive thoughts. New research shows it rewires your brain. You must implant the positive with 10-30 seconds of intentional focus. This helps the brain “remember”.

Being Impeccable To Your Word can be expressed in many ways in each moment that forms your day. ½ a day at a time. Being Present in the Moment. Being Mindful. This moment is what we have right now. The past is gone. The future, we can only hope for. It may never come. Death cannot be negotiated with. Live in the Present Moment to relieve suffering.

Silence can be Impeccable

Silence is an expression. And sometimes silence and refrain says a lot more than words can. Your actions are a part of how you create. Silence with good feelings is a positive. Silence with contempt is negative and not being impeccable. Active Listening with compassion goes a long way toward relationship building. Learn to not argue or quarrel.

Saying Sorry

Saying you are sorry is Being Impeccable To Your Word. It moves toward truth, love and forgiveness.

Fear – Anxiety – Panic

 

Fear – Anxiety – Panic are “negative emotions” that do not enhance life, they take energy away from us. They dehabilitate us. They render us ineffective.

Examples:

  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Death
  • Fear of Rejection
  • Fear of Ridicule
  • Fear of Loneliness
  • Fear of Misery – Poverty
  • Fear of Disappointment  – Ourselves vs. Others
  • Fear of Pain
  • Fear of The Unknown
  • Fear of Losing Your Freedom
  • Fear of Dating
  • Fear of Public Speaking
  • Fear of Success

Fear, Anxiety, Panic hold you back and are not being Impeccable.

When you experience Fear, Anxiety or Panic notice it. Embrace it. If you can stay with the feeling like diving into a deep swimming pool, swim to the bottom and be with the feeling. If you can stay with it without addictions like alcohol, drugs or other crutches it will ease. Peace will come. You can let it go. You make a choice to let it go. It goes. Then decide for a positive thought, a positive action and stay with that. Let that hold. Embrace it for as long as you can. Rewire you brain for the positive. Fear Anxiety or Panic will lessen and go elsewhere. Embrace Love. Fear and Love cannot exist side by side in you.

To Be Impeccable with Your Word is an art requiring constant vigilance with active awareness. You begin today and master over a lifetime of work. Some never master it.

It is in the trying, in the consistent practice to master our emotional expression, master our beliefs, master our thoughts, master our words and master our actions that we change into a person with Integrity, Character, Virtue, Truth and Love.

We become Impeccable.

Why not start today?

Result: Your life will become a masterpiece of beauty, grace, happiness and love.

The Four Agreements – 15th Anniversary Illustrated Edition 5

“Everything we do is based on agreements we have made – agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth.”

“In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible.”

In this powerful book that has remained on The New York Times Bestseller List for over eight years, don Miguel reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. When we are ready to change these agreements, there are four deceptively simple, yet powerful agreements that we can adopt as guiding principles. The Four Agreements® offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.

The Four Agreements are:

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Don’t Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management 
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

A Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

_______________________________________________________________
References:

1. Don Miguel Ruiz Website: http://www.miguelruiz.com/index.php

2. The Four Agreements Amazon

3. Fickle The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2012 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.

4.  Emotions    http://atlantaangermanagement.com/anger.htm

5.  The Four Agreements – 15th Anniversary Illustrated Edition