The Beginner’s Guide to Clean Eating

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.
Hippocrates
father of medicine, 431 B.C.

Eat Food. Not Too much. Mostly Plants.
Michael Pollan
renowned food expert and journalist, 2007 A.D.

COOKING TIPS / NUTRITION TIPS / WEIGHT LOSS  AUGUST 31, 2015

The Beginner’s Guide to Clean Eating

We know what healthy food looks like (or at least have some idea), so why is it challenging to eat healthy on a regular basis? Between a busy career, school, a significant other and kids—life happens, and suddenly our good intention to be healthier falls to the wayside.
Deep down we still want to develop sustainable, clean eating habits because we know our diet, or the culmination of foods we consistently choose over time, impacts the duration and quality of our life.

The leading causes of death—heart disease, cancer and stroke—in the U.S. are nutritionally related, and the rest of the developed world is not lagging far behind. Our health, weight, energy level, mood and even sleep are influenced by diet.

When it comes to food, nutrition and which diet really works best, there’s not much that all of us agree on. And with good reason! Nutrition is not one-size-fits-all, largely because our bodies all function a little bit differently. While a lower-carbohydrate diet may work exceptionally well for one individual trying to lose weight, it may not work for the next. On the other end of the spectrum, carb-loading may help one athlete more than others.

When it comes to achieving good health, and yes, even weight loss, there’s one common ingredient among all diets that have stood the test of time (such as lower-carbohydrate, vegetarian, vegan, Mediterranean and the newer Paleo diets).

They all borrow on some or all of these clean eating strategies:
• Eat minimally processed foods, or foods made from minimally processed ingredients.
• Eat mostly plants and plant-based foods.
• Eat sparingly animals and animal products that eat mostly plants. (Not fed hormones, Non-GMO foods, wild caught fish)
Or to sum it up: Clean eating means choosing real food.


WHAT IS REAL FOOD?

No standard definition for “healthy” food actually exists, just like there’s no cookie-cutter definition for what it means to be healthy, but it shouldn’t stop us from defining what that means to us.
The current packaging trends have “healthy, “all natural” labeled on almost all packing today.

“Real food” has no official definition but embodies what a general healthy eating pattern could look like without using airy terms like “balanced,” “honest” and “genuine” to describe it (because who really knows what they mean?).

Real food is simple.

It hasn’t gone through a ton of processing to get from the ground to your plate.

Here’s what that looks like:
• Filtered Water Not from plastic bottle
• Fruits
• Vegetables
• Lean non-GMO meats, like chicken, turkey (not deli turkey/high sodium)
• Dairy
• Seafood
• Nuts
• Seeds
• Whole grains (Non white starches)
• Beans
• Stevia rather than other sweeteners
• Coffee
• Tea
• Dark Chocolate and Wine count, too—just enjoy them in moderation!

[Start] Richard Tip:

Eat at home so you can control the ingredients in your meal.
• Eat organic foods if you can afford it. No pesticides, fertilizers used.
• No dairy to reduce inflammation and bloating (no cheese, milk, yogurt etc.)
• No margarine, hydrogenised spreads.
• Natural Peanut, Almond, Safflower Butters where oil separates.
• No sugar
• No flour
• No rich gravies, use salt free herbs/spices instead
• Eat lean red meat including hamburger (4% or 8% Fat) once a month or less
• Meat: 4 oz or less per serving (deck of cards size)
• Meat: chicken, turkey, wild caught salmon, tuna, mackerel, trout
• Starches: Brown Rice, Sweet Potatoes, Multi Grain, Whole Wheat Pasta or Quinoa Pasta, Quinoa
• One cup coffee a day (Creamer = Almond Creamer, Stevia for sweetner)
• No alcohol
• No carbonated beverages
• 8-12 Glasses Water A Day (64-96 oz) (Variety: add Lemons, Limes, Cucumber Slices)
• Eat rainbow of vegetables
• Romaine, Argula, Kale, Spinach, Collard Greens, Swiss Chard, Bok Choy
• Limit nuts to 8 almonds, walnuts, etc a day
• Better to eat five 200 calorie “meals” spread throughout the day than 1/2/3 meals/day.
• Drink ½ smoothies a day with Vega Sports Performance Protein, Now Physillum Husk, 1 tsb Olive Oil.
• Oils: Extra Virgin Olive Oil (not heated), Avocado Oil for cooking, Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
• No fried foods
• No French Fries, No Fried Onion Rings (very high in Omega 6 causing artery restriction)
• Make Salad your main meal of day
• Limit eggs
• Limit Sodium Intake
• Watch canned foods: Lining of cans has BHA that the body cannot process.
• Are we having fun?

[End] Richard Tip:

Real food is not processed food.

Real food is not processed food. According to Dr. Robert Lustig, MD, founder of the Institute for Responsible Nutrition, processed food meets these seven criteria:
1. mass-produced
2. consistent batch to batch
3. consistent country to country
4. specialized ingredients from specialized companies
5. nearly all macronutrients are pre frozen (which means that the fiber is usually removed)
6. emulsified (fat and water don’t separate)
7. long shelf or freezer life

At this point, you’re probably thinking, “Wait a minute, processed foods, I need the convenience! I like the taste.”

Yes, processed foods can be one of the safest foods on the planet in terms of germs, and that’s great for the short-term. Eating processed foods now and then won’t kill you, but you should really focus on eating mostly real foods if you’re concerned about your long-term health.

Food programs our bodies. Junk in, poor nutrition over time equals health problems and early death. Most everyone should have heard of this by now…..

FIVE REASONS TO EAT CLEAN.

1. Eat “healthier” without thinking about it. It’s useful to think of food as nutrients (macro- and micronutrients) so we can better understand our body. When it comes to healthy eating, it’s more useful to think of food simply as food. Choosing “real” foods lets you eat healthier from a nutrient perspective without thinking too much about nutrients.

2. Redefine your relationship with food. Do you find yourself labeling food as “good” or “bad” based on a predefined notion of what healthy eating looks like? Nothing should always be that black and white, least of all a healthy relationship with food. Choosing real foods forces you to reevaluate the foods you think are healthy (aka processed foods labeled “low fat,” “sugar-free” and so forth). That being said, if you’re willing to buy real food ingredients to bake a cake, you should be able to enjoy a slice of dessert without a side of guilt.

3. Get the most nutrients out of the foods you’re eating. Processing foods usually removes or destroys valuable nutrients. Heat (cooking) kills nutrition also. Eat raw vegetables/fruits as much as you can. Choosing mostly real foods helps you maximize the nutrients you get from the foods you eat.

4. Cook, connect and celebrate with friends and family. Since real foods come in the most natural form, it pushes you to be creative in preparing and cooking your meals. Cooking is an essential skill when it comes to living a healthy life. Since good food is a cause for celebration, get your friends and family members involved if you can. Make meal preparation fun and easy.

Smoothies, stir-frys, raw, salads. spices and fresh herbs. Think protein, vegetable and fruit on plate minus starch. Lose weight.

5. Live a longer, healthier life. “You are what you eat” is a simple mantra capturing the impact that diet quality has on your quality of life. Eating mostly real foods will decrease your chances of getting a debilitating chronic disease like heart disease, stroke, diabetes or cancer. After all, the goal of being physically healthy is to live a long life whilst avoiding these pitfalls.

THREE STEP PLAN TO EAT CLEAN

Home-cooking is at the heart of healthy eating, especially if it involves real food. Here are a few tips to get you started:

Save and organize your favorite recipes. Gather recipes from your favorite cookbooks, food bloggers or the internet at large. Rotate through the recipes as you plan your weekly or monthly meal calendar. If you’re not the planning type, having these recipes on hand will help inspire your cooking adventures.

Choose recipes that use healthy cooking techniques. Delicious food doesn’t have to be complicated; if you’re a beginner cook, choose recipes with 10 ingredients or less. To make your home-cooking even healthier, be mindful about how much sugar, sodium and cooking oil you’re adding to your foods.

Here’s a list of common additions you should use mindfully to keep your home-cooked meal healthy:
ADDED SUGAR ADDED SODIUM ADDED FAT
– Granulated sugar
– Brown sugar
-Honey
– Maple syrup
– Agave syrup – Salt
– Baking powder
– Baking soda
– Condiments (hot sauce, mustard, barbecue sauce) – Canola oil
– Olive oil
– Vegetable oil
– Peanut oil

[Start] Richard Tip: HIGHER STANDARD: ALL ABOVE–>DO NOT EAT.
Two exceptions: Olive Oil and Condiments: Watch sugar and tons of added ingredients. If you cannot pronounce the ingredient. Do not buy product. Google “Best Olive Oil Brands” while at store and buy the one listed. Most are inferior grade.
[End] Richard Tip:

Keep honing your cooking skills! No one is born an amazing cook, so if you fail at your cooking ploys, remember to learn from them. If you’re a beginner, read these resources to learn more on how to plan and prep your meals:

Beginner’s Guide to Meal Planning and Meal Prep.

Stocking up on real foods is a good first step, especially if you plan to eat more of it. Check out these pointers to help you shop real at the grocery store:

Skim the perimeter of the grocery store. It’s where real food lives. We suggest you prioritize the following aisles: fresh produce, meat and seafood. After you’ve loaded your cart, you can proceed to the center aisle for other necessities, just be sure to keep your eye on ingredient lists. Less is more! Most aisles do not need to be walked unless for exercise.

Go to the store with a grocery list. Grocery-shopping with a list is your plan for success, because you’ll know exactly what to grab and be less inclined to buy processed convenience food. Ideally, your list should reflect the recipes you intend to prep for the week.

Pick up some handy, real food snacks that require minimal prepping and no recipes.

Here are some ideas:

NO PREP SNACKS MINIMAL PREP SNACKS
– Fresh fruit
– Unsweetened dried fruit
– Raw nuts
– Dark chocolate
– Popcorn
– Baby carrots
– Cherry tomatoes
– Whole-grain crackers
– Celery sticks
– Bell pepper sticks
– Hard-boiled eggs

Think outside the grocery store! If you live near a local farmer’s market, go check it out! Farmer’s markets are a good place for you to buy and support local produce, sometimes at a fraction of what you’d pay in a brand-name grocery store. For more information, check out “Real Food Sources.”

Grabbing food on the go can be unavoidable, and we get that. Here are some strategies to choose healthier dishes and keep your food real:

Avoid fast-food and chain restaurants. The majority of meals made by these establishments contain processed foods (nuggets, patties), that use additives, preservatives, flavor enhancers and artificial coloring. If possible, choose restaurants whose main selling point is local, fresh ingredients.

Use the cooking technique as your tip-off. This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule, but it works well when you’re trying to choose healthier fare. Choose dishes that are baked, steamed, sauteed, roasted or boiled. Try to avoid items that are fried, deep-fried or drenched in heavy, cream-based sauces.

Check out the menu before you go. If possible, browse through the restaurant’s menu online first. Choose two to three options that look good to you, making it more likely you’ll make the healthier choice.
What does “real” food look like to you? Share your opinions in the comments below.

Tags: clean eating diet nutrition weight loss

Trinh Le, MPH, RD
Trinh Le is a registered dietitian for MyFitnessPal. She holds her master’s in public health, nutrition from the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. Trinh is a proponent of balancing food and exercise for a healthy lifestyle. She enjoys hiking, strength training, yoga, running and fidgeting.

[Edits]
Richard Taylor BS, CAMF, CART, CLYL, CLWI
Richard Taylor has investigated and lived it all. Weight Watchers. Atkins Diet – Heart Attack Survivor, Vegetarian, Vegan, Body Builder Diet Program, 5:2 Diet, RAW, Mix diet. Now more Holistic Medicine and Plant Based Nutrition based with limited meat/fish, little dairy, minimal starch diet. Live longer, eat clean. He enjoys reading, simple living, less is more, organic gardening, foreign movies, hiking, camping, social meet-ups, tiny home movement, sustainability living, emotional intelligence mindful living, campfires, laughter yoga, story-telling and listening, learning and laughing daily. He loves children.

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CONTACT:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

5555 GLENRIDGE CONNECTOR – ATLANTA ANGER MANAGEMENT

5555 GLENRIDGE CONNECTOR – ATLANTA ANGER MANAGEMENT

While researching Power Numbers I came across this. The Power of our address
at 5555 GLENRIDGE CONNECTOR – ATLANTA ANGER MANAGEMENT.

5555

The 5555 number sequence is a message from the Universe that your life is about to go through some major changes, with new freedoms and living your inner- truths.

The people who choose to change their lives with some coaching with me (Richard Taylor) helping them through education and learning wake up to:

  • Higher Degrees of Consciousness
  • Increased Awareness
  • Increased Emotional Intelligence
  • Less Stress
  • More Joy
  • Less Anger
  • Less Arguments
  • Less Conflict
  • Better Communication
  • Better Listening Skills
  • Mindfulness
  • Less Multi-Tasking
  • More Peace
  • Better People Skills
  • Less Aggressive Behaviors
  • Less Passive Aggressive Behaviors
  • Learning to Give and Receive
  • Learning to Feel Awkward (Not Doing Same Destructive Behavior)
  • Breaking Chaos Cycles
  • Learn to Love Learning
  • Increase The Positives
  • Embrace Change
  • Much More +

 

DO I NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT?

 

CONTACT

Richard Taylor BS, CAMF

Richard Taylor BS, CAMF

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management 
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

Atlanta’s #1 Oldest Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence 

More on 5.

Number 5 resonates with the influences and attributes of personal freedom, unconventional, individualism, non-attachment, major life changes, life lessons learned
through experience, making important life choices and decisions, courage, motivation, telepathy, the intellect, activity, influence, the adventurer, sensuality, the promoter, natural flair, vivaciousness, health, sympathy, motivation, competitiveness, idealism, non-conventional, curiosity, magnetism, experience, pleasure-loving, vitality, the visionary, expansion, opportunity, imagination, individualism, healing, choice, mercy, kindness, invention, resourcefulness, competitiveness, self-emancipation, physicality, impulsiveness, energy, travel, excitement, auspicious opportunities.

The number 5 symbolizes the principles of multiplicity, progression and passion and signifies the need for change, variety and new growth. The number 5 relates to personal freedom, making positive choices and major life changes, transformation and transmutation.

When Angel Number 5 appears consistently it indicates that there are changes for the better coming into your life. The energies are now building up to force much needed changes and these changes may come around with unexpected haste, but they will usher in positive energies and opportunities and will catapult you along on your path in the right direction.

Recurring Number Sequence – 5’s 5 55 555 5555

For more information on all the ANGEL NUMBERS visit:

ANGEL NUMBERS – Repeating Number Sequences and Their Messages and Meanings

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/p/what-are-angel-numbers.html

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MISUSE OFTEN ABUSES MEN

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE MISUSE OFTEN ABUSES MEN

More and more men are coming to Atlanta Anger Management with similar stories as below. Worth the read and reflection for those now involved in Couple Conflicts or involved with an unstable emotionally charged partner.

Please POST your comments and own experience as it will add greatly to this very needed discussion. Change in attitudes, laws, support groups, needs to happen so men have rights and justice too. Tell your story truthfully please. Thank you. – Director Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management

False Allegations To Gain Advantage In Divorce

by Steve Cloer

At first I didn’t believe the stories were true. It wasn’t that I thought the stories I heard were lies or the people telling them were not being truthful, but the rational and logical areas of my mind wouldn’t let me believe them.

After all, this is America, synonymous with freedom, civil rights and justice. I discounted the stories as unusual situations or atypical. Then, I began to meet more people who told similar stories. I still could not rationally believe them. Their stories didn’t seem real. How could they be factual? Certainly something would have been done about it if any of these stories were true.

Because of the erratic behavior and problem drinking by my wife, I was warned many times to expect to become an actor, a victim in one of these stories. Still it was too unreasonable for me to imagine. Too farfetched to believe. I did not disbelieve the people who told me of their parts in these stories. However, reason would not allow me to believe the stories could be true.

It was a shock my beliefs could not recognize. “This is America,” I thought, “Millions of American men and women have sacrificed, some giving their lives to guarantee my freedom, rights and justice.” “You are innocent until proven guilty.” “Due process!” my beliefs echoed. The phrases of our freedom stuck in my mind, implanted continuously since childhood. I recalled the phrase “with liberty and justice for all.” I remembered saying that phrase thousands of time growing up, as all school children in America had each morning in their classrooms and many other places. As my son does now at each of his Boy Scout meetings. Certainly there is “liberty and justice for all” in America?

But my time had come.

I was coaching my son’s soccer team one Saturday when his mother came by the field and convinced him to leave with her after practice. While she was there waiting for the practice to end she was talking on her cell phone with a very serious, business like demeanor. I went on home alone, instead of going to eat at one of my son’s favorite places with him, as we usually did after soccer practice.

Shortly after I got home there was a knock at my door. I peered out the window and could see two sheriff’s deputies. My first thoughts were that someone had been hurt. Naively, with curiosity, I answered the door.

Their first words set my mind numb. After I heard the initial words “ Domestic Violence Complaint” I could only hear a few of the words they said, and they were mixed in the racing of my numb mind. They told me they were here to serve me.

It must be a mistake!

My thoughts raced, searching for the reasons, the source, the cause. There were none I could attribute to this ridiculous charge.

The deputy read on. I could still not hear his words. Life had immediately become a slow motion fog, the warnings of the stories I had heard rang in my head as the deputy read.

Some neighbors, seeing the sheriff’s car, had gathered across the street, watching and listening as the deputy talked loudly. When he finished he asked: “Do you understand this?” I had no idea what he had just said. I answered, “No. I hardly heard a word you said.” The deputy very loudly repeated:

  • “If you come near your residence you will be arrested.”
  • “You can have no contact with any of the members of your family, no phone calls, no letters, no emails, no notes sent through a third party, you can’t go to your children’s school to see them.”
  • “Violate any of this and you will be charged with a felony.”
  • “You have twenty minutes to pack some clothes.”

The sheriff went on, my mind went numb again, not hearing his words. I interrupted, “What is this about?” He answered, “Your wife has filed a family violence complaint against you.”

“For what?”, I asked. “You can read it in the complaint we’ll give you when you leave here,” was his answer.

The two sheriff deputies followed me throughout my house, inspecting my every move and examining each item I chose to take with me. After a short while one deputy hurried me along saying, “Finish up, we have several more places to go.” After I packed a few items they escorted me to my vehicle, took the keys to my house, workshop, and other vehicle, and, with the threat of arresting me if I returned, watched while I drove away.

For a moment I felt that I knew what it was like in 1940’s Europe, the authorities had come to my house with no evidence or proof of any wrong doing and forced me from my home and family without any pretense of a hearing or trial.

I drove to an all night restaurant and stopped in the parking lot, shaking, feeling like I was in a dream. My mind was engulfed in a mental fog, working in slow motion, churning with a thousand images running through it. I tried to read the complaint, but I had to read each word or sentence several times before my mind would concentrate enough to grasp the meaning.

The complaint was signed by Judge Gene Reeves, who I had never seen nor heard of before.

I sat in my car all night, staring out the window, unable to sleep, unable to stop the tears. I felt like a man without a country. I was instantly transformed into a homeless person with no access to my child, my belongings or my means of supporting myself. This was the first of many similar nights to follow.

As soon as I was able to concentrate on the complaint, I began to piece things together.

I remembered that ten days before my wife had pulled up into the driveway and came out to my shop where I was working. It was apparent to me that she had been drinking and she had our 7-year-old son with her as she commonly took the boy out with her driving while she was drinking! She was angry, as she frequently was when she indulged in her frequent drinking bouts.

I noticed her angry behavior and was expecting her to become physically violent, as she had many times before when she was drinking and angry. To protect myself, and save my son from observing more family conflict, I closed and locked the workshop door to prevent her entry. I was trying to avoid another one of her drunken verbal and physical attacks. Her primary statement in the complaint was that I pushed her during this incident.

Prudence and the law allow self-defense when assaulted, and leaving the conflict is strongly recommended. The law considers it child abuse when children are exposed to family violence.

Previous to this incident I had repeatedly endured verbal abuse from her when she was drinking, demands that I not associate with my friends, accusations when I wanted to leave the house, and she consistently tried to alienate our son from me.

She frequently became belligerent as a result of the alcoholic binges. That led to numerous incidents of her pushing, slapping, punching, kicking, and throwing things at me.

Despite her repeated abusive behavior I had never reported her. I found the idea of my son’s mother enduring the humiliation of being taken to jail repugnant. How could I allow my son to bear the effects of his mother being taken by the police?

From the stories I had heard from other men I felt no one would listen to me, a man, even if I made a report. If I did report her, and she was arrested, I knew she would likely seek revenge by telling my son how I had sent Mommy to jail. Her intentions were consistently to punish me by attempting to further alienate my son from me as she had already been actively doing. She had already successfully alienated my stepdaughter.

At home I had emails written by my wife to her friends describing how she had hit or kicked me, video tapes of her aggressive (a suggestion from the police), abusive, threatening physical behavior toward me. I had also kept phone contact information of people who had witnessed her abusing me, a police report filed when her mother called me on the phone and threatened to “blow me away.” But, conveniently for her, after she reported me I was not allowed into my house to retrieve these things before the court date. Even my being near my own house would result in an arrest and a felony conviction.

In the papers I was served there were several complaints other than the workshop incident, all fabrications. One such complaint was that “I held her arms,” neglecting to mention that the reason I “held her arms” was to keep her from continuing to hit me during several incidents where she had been drinking.

In my wife’s deposition, taken after the time these alleged incidents took place, there was naturally no mention of any of these drunken affrays. In fact, in the deposition my wife referred to me as “pretty perfect” when questioned about my behavior.

The compliant the sheriff served me with required that I be evaluated by a court-approved psychologist. I made an appointment, paid the fee, and attended the evaluation. I took written tests and underwent a verbal interview. The evaluation stated that there was no indication of a violent potential and that any further treatment or evaluation was not prescribed.

I went to court the first time in my life expecting serious consideration of the allegations to be examined by the judge. After all there is “justice for all” in America. A judge who cared about his duty and who stood for justice would expose the truth. The judge would have fairness, justice and the best interest of my son in mind. My thinking was that no responsible person would advocate a drunken woman becoming violent toward a father in front of the child, especially a person in such an esteemed position as a judge.

My wife had no proof or evidence of any kind to indicate that any violence took place. She had no police reports, no medical reports, no witnesses, no pictures of bruises or scrapes, nothing!

I attended the court hearing at Gwinnett Justice Center, 75 Langley Drive, Lawrenceville, Georgia 30045, telephone: (770) 822-8000, Case Number 00-A-08605-0, in front of Magistrate Judge Robert Mitchum. My lawyer advised me to play down anything that happened that would be considered violence because, no matter who was guilty, the man would be the one put out of the house.

I made a mistake. I told the truth instead.

During the hearing I was rushed through a busy court system. The judge commented “We have a lot of people here and I want to finish and get home in time for dinner.” The judge looked at me and told me, “Give me your Readers Digest condensed version of what happened.” The judge read my wife’s list of complaints. He didn’t ask me, “ Did you do this?” What is your side of the story?” “Do you dispute these allegations?” I started telling my side of the workshop incident. The judge started writing up the order before I had hardly begun my story. The Judge appeared to listen to everything my wife said and ignore anything I presented. The psychological evaluation was never brought up.

The judge told me, as he had told others that day, “It’s only for six months,” seemingly justifying his decision, as if getting thrown out of your house and work for six months was a minor inconvenience.

The judge took the usual course of “When in doubt, throw him out.” It appeared he never even considered that the woman might have been the aggressor. I was removed from my home where I made my living in my workshop and home office. I was forced to pay my abuser $500 a month and to make the $950 house payment. I was ordered to pay her credit card bill. I was not allowed near my house under threat of a felony conviction.

The 5 th and 14 th Amendments of the United States Constitution, which requires that no State shall “deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law, or deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the law,” was cast aside and ignored for both my son and myself.

My wife had lived in the same house with me for ten days after my “violent act” before she filed her complaint. She had several friends and relatives in the area but apparently didn’t feel terrified enough of me to flee to one of those places in that ten days.

Later, my son’s guardian ad litem (a court appointed person to investigate the children’s situation and recommend custody, typically a crony of the judge) stated in court and in a report that she found it strange that the complaint was filed ten days after the supposed incident. It was clear the guardian ad litem was very suspicious about the allegations. My wife’s lawyer invented the excuse that: “She couldn’t get a hold of me to find out what to do for those ten days.”

Days later I went to the court clerk’s office and looked through the case file. The judge had a paper in the file he was apparently using to take notes as my hearing took place. The notes were incorrect on several subjects; such as I prevented her from coming in the house (not the workshop). The paper was covered with doodles, indicative of the disinterest to find the facts the judge showed in my case and reflects the boredom and disinterest the judge had with the whole procedure.

Because I worked out of the workshop at my house I suffered a loss from several projects I was working on that I could not finish. That cost me thousands and damaged my company’s reputation. To pay everything the court ordered I would still have been $33 a month short after I paid my entire average monthly income. But I was barred from the shop where I derived that income.

Most importantly, my son was deprived of a very good and active father with whom he had a strong, close relationship. All this with no evidence whatsoever! I was able to see my son only because the guardian ad litem recommended 50/50 shared custody, one week with me and one week with the mother. This didn’t seem to indicate that I was a violent threat from the guardian ad litem’s perspective. However, for this to be allowed I had to secure an appropriate residence.

The cost of this residence was $1,400 a month, a one-room motel, for eight months on top of the $950 house payment and $500 support I was forced to make.

While I was out of the house, my wife pillaged my belongings, financial documents, business papers, and computer data. She took what she wanted including $7,200 from the company account. She removed my property from the house, slandered me to the neighbors and friends, and continued actively attempting to alienate my son from me.

The effect on my son was immediate. He had been on a soccer team for five seasons but quit playing because, according to comments his mother made to him: “It is too much trouble and it is too expensive.” In his second year with Boy Scouts he showed no progress with activities involving parents. He stopped doing the things he and I had enjoyed together that provided exercise; walking to school, riding bikes, hiking, soccer, and more. These physical activities were replaced by his mother with watching cartoons and playing Nintendo. My son immediately gained weight, which his young peers teased him about.

The year before, when he was in first grade and I was in the house, he was recommended for the gifted program. In the second grade, with me out of the house and unable to see him regularly, he was recommended for summer school for failing several subjects.

This situation didn’t have anything to do with the family violence associated with my wife’s drinking binges. It had to do with control. It had to do with the impending property settlement. It had to do with a future court hearing and judgment. It was the only way to get me out of the house that my wife hoped would become hers. The charge of domestic violence against me was nothing more than a way to place a face card in a hand that was yet to be played. This was a calculated move by a woman that was experiencing her third divorce, as well as being coached by her mother who had involved herself and assisted her three daughters in a total of seven divorces.

The divorce that followed effectively used the “Domestic Violence Conviction” to maximum advantage. The divorce and the results of it were even more devastating than the domestic violence case. In the divorce I was permanently forced from my home, prevented from seeing my son, and forced to pay my accuser, all with no evidence.

If someone came to anyone’s house with a gun and forced them from it, prevented them from seeing their children, and forced the occupants to pay the intruders money, this would be considered a crime of great brutality and abuse, exploitation, greed, vengeance, and a miscarriage of justice.

Since this happened to me I have met many men falsely accused of domestic violence. The number is surprising. The motivations for the accusations are the same; for the wife to gain control over the property and finances and to degrade the living standards and the emotional strength of the man to the point where he is at the mercy of the wife, her lawyer and the court.

I have seen men who were forced out of their house because of false accusations living in their cars, homeless, or accepting the favor of friends or of a church for a place to stay. These men have no money and are unable to see their children. Some of these men have committed suicide. Some have done worse.

I’ve learned that domestic violence accusations are widespread. I spent the better part of a day recently in the clerk’s office at the courthouse. There was a steady stream of women coming into the clerk’s office for domestic violence complaints. All were women. Not one man came in even though statistics show women initiate or participate in the violence in 50% of these incidents. The women were told to wait until 1:30 PM that day and then they could go to the magistrate judge’s court and he would look at their complaint. At 1:30 there were about eight women in the court waiting to have the magistrate look at their complaint. The judge came in and asked each what her problem was and filled out the complaint as the women told him their story.

He signed all of the complaints without further question or any proof whatsoever, like he was handing out Halloween candy.

I went back to the clerk’s office again and looked at the calendar for domestic violence hearings. I noticed hearings on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

When I’d had my hearing, about a year and a half before, they were only having them on Tuesdays. I asked why the extra days and she informed me that the cases have grown from about 20 per week to anywhere from 50 to 80 per week at present.

In my experience, domestic violence laws produce a misuse and abuse of the system by lawyers and unhappy spouses to gain power, increase financial gains, and attain vengeance.

Although men are commonly victims of domestic violence, the laws, attitudes, resources and actions dealing with family violence greatly favor women in a way detrimental to men.

Domestic violence laws are weapons of mass destruction in the divorce and custody wars. A woman can be assured of an ally in the judicial system to assist her in abusing a man. The judiciary has hardened their hearts against men, and fathers in particular.

The imbalance and injustice of the family violence laws and attitudes result in the continued degradation of the foundation of the American society, our families.

The day has come when the multitudinous cries of “wolf” dilutes the pleas of those few who are truly abused. Our society is already undermined by internal strife such as this between families and government. The misuse of family violence laws isn’t just an issue of one person, men in general, or noncustodial parents, this is an issue of the survival of our society.

Steve Cloer

Norcross, Georgia

Email: sacs1@mindspring.com

Source: http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-105.htm#false

_______________________________________________________________

Atlanta Anger Management do not offer services in Domestic Violence or Family Violence.

Atlanta Anger Management does offer Individual Sessions and Classes for Anger Management, Anger and Rage Issues, Custody Battles Issues, Divorce/Conflict In Couples, Improved Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Stress Management and Coaching For High Conflict Interpersonal Problems.

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Oldest Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence 

 

 

KEY WAYS TO TURN ANGER INTO PEACE

Key Ways to Turn Anger into Peace

Characteristics Of An Angry Person

A = Aggressiveness
B = Blame
C = Criticism
D = Denial

Angry People deny they have a problem.

Do you yell frequently or have Rage episodes where you don’t remember everything you said? Admit it. You are not fun to be around as those you love the most have to “walk on eggshells’ to be around you.

You can live a better way and actually live longer. Yes anger and rage helps you die early. This is a fact.

Key Ways to Turn Anger into Peace

  • Don’t let things build up, Use Assertion Skills to address issues as you go along
  • Clear the “air’ once a week and have a weekly catch up chat about your weekly feelings
  • Understand the thoughts or ways you are perceiving things that are the true sources of your anger. i.e. Answer: “Why am I angry?”
  • Try to sense down to the softer emotions beneath anger, like hurt or fear; acknowledge those to yourself or express them to others.
  • If you feel like you’re going to blow up, walk away or call a friend.
  • Get professional help if you are directing anger at yourself or others in harmful ways.
  • Ask your heart for guidance.
  • Practice Positive Thinking; catch negative thoughts and change the channel to positive thoughts
  • Practice Gratitude. What are you grateful for?
  • Increase your Laughter and sense of play in your daily life
  • Release Stress with Stress Management
  • Choose to avoid arguing and keep feelings low on the stress and anger scales

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Oldest Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider in Atlanta
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence 

MINDFULNESS

Raw footage from Rick Hanson’s interview for © The Mindfulness Movie, 2013. More info at www.themindfulnessmovie.com

More Resources:

HOW TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS VIDEOS

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management 
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence