Couple Talk – Importance of Kindness and Fondness,  ‘Turning Towards’ 

∇ Have you become argumentive lately?

∇ Seem to only see the negative in your partner?

∇ Seem to have bad “moods” a lot lately?

∇ Not as happy as the early days in the relationship?

∇ Wonder when things are going to change?

∇ Feel stuck in your relationship?

∇ Feel not as upbeat as usual?

∇ Tired of fighting?

∇ Ponder getting back at your partner?

∇ Think: Hurt ME, and you will hurt MORE!

Well join the club!  53 % Divorce Rate In USA

Wikipedia Divorce Rates Worldwide

Need a fast change to restore your relationship to better times? Read on…

Masters And Disasters

The Gottman Institute studies of Julie and John Gottman along with many other supporting studies¹  say lasting relationships come down to kindness, fondness, turning towards your partner and an active interest in maintaining intimate friendship over the years.

A question came up: Do unhappy marriages share something in common?

Psychologist John and Julie Gottman along with Robert Levenson for the past four decades has studied thousands of couples in a quest to figure out what makes relationships work.

In 1986, John Gottman with his colleague Robert Levenson  and associates, hooked the couples up to measure the subjects’ blood flow, heart rates, and how much they sweat. The hooked up ‘wiggle-monitors’ to determine the edginess of them wiggling in chairs. They establish base rates and then followed along with a research team behind walls monitoring their vital signs. They had the couples talk about their relationship. Such things like: how they met, a major conflict they were facing together, and positive memories they had. Everything was recorded including videotaping.

The data suggested two major groups: the Masters and the Disasters.

Analyzing the data they saw clear differences between the masters and disasters.

The Masters were still happily together after six years.

The Disasters had either broken up or were chronically unhappy in their marriages.

The Disasters

The disasters looked calm during the interviews but their active physiology told important new data understanding relationships.

  • heart rates were quick
  • sweat glands were active
  • blood flow was fast
  • often edginess in wiggling in chairs

Following thousands of couples longitudinally, The Gottman Institute found that the more physiologically active the couples were in the lab, the quicker their relationships deteriorated over time.

Say What?

The disasters showed signs of arousal—of being in fight-or-flight mode—in their relationships. The Limbric brain is involved here. Specifically the amygdala. This also affects impulse control and the anger response. (Anger Management).

Having a conversation sitting next to their spouse was, to their bodies, like facing off with lions and tigers and bears.

Even when they were talking about pleasant or mundane facets of their relationships, they were prepared to attack and be attacked. This sent their heart rates soaring and made them more aggressive toward each other.

An example: The couple could be talking about how their days had gone, and a highly aroused wife might say to her husband, “Why don’t you start talking about your day. It won’t take you very long.” A put down indeed. This then distances the couple, perhaps the feeling of being disrespected and an anger response arises, even if not expressed.

The Masters

The masters, by contrast, showed low physiological arousal.

They felt:

  • calm and connected together
  • Their vital signs were more normal or returned to normal quickly if aroused
  • translated into warm and affectionate behavior even if they argued.

It’s not that the masters had a better physiological make-up than the disasters. The masters had created a climate of trust and intimacy that made both of them more emotionally and thus physically comfortable.

Professor Gottman wanted to know more about how the masters created that culture of love and intimacy, and how the disasters squashed it.

In 1990, he designed a lab on the University of Washington campus looking like a bed and breakfast apartment deemed “The Love Lab”.  He invited 130 newlywed couples, each couple one at a time, to spend the day at this retreat and watched and recorded as before everything normal couples do: arrive, put up groceries, eat, chat, cook, clean, listen to music, hang out, etc.

Professor Gottman and his team, made a critical discovery in this study. It identified why some relationships thrive while others wither.

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.”

One of John’s favorite examples from my training with them:

The wife who is a bird enthusiast notices a bluebird flying across the yard and finds a perch on a branch. She says quietly to her husband eating cereal while watching TV, “Look …a bluejay outside!” He is apparently absorbed and says nothing to her.

Question: What does the wife feel from this interaction?

Happy?
Sad?
Mad?
Invisible?
Not heard?
Disrespected?
Disconnected?

Joyful?

No… she might feel: Invisible, Not heard, Disrespected, Disconnected

The wife is not just commenting on the bluebird, she is requesting a response from her husband, a sign of interest or support, hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The husband missed his chance with no response. He is effect “turned away.” Silence, no response.

REWIND: How would he “turn towards”?

Professor Gottman suggests the husband grunt, “Huh?” or better “Wow, a sign spring is here.”  I suggest: Put down the cereal and come over and look beside your wife holding her, perhaps better, a hug from behind, a bit of playfulness and a kiss on the cheek.

CHOOSE:  Respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” .

Though the bird-bid might seem minor, it actually reveals a lot about the health of their relationship.

People (Masters) who turned toward their partners in the study responded by engaging the bidder, showing interest and support in the bid. Those who didn’t, (Disasters) those who turned away, would not respond or respond minimally and continue doing whatever they were doing, like watching TV or reading the paper. Sometimes they would respond with overt hostility, saying something like, “Stop interrupting me, I’m reading.”

These bidding interactions had profound effects on marital well-being. Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow up had “turn-toward bids” 33 percent of the time. Only three in ten of their bids for emotional connection were met with intimacy.

The couples who were still together after six years had “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time. Nine times out of ten, they were meeting their partner’s emotional needs.

By observing these types of interactions, Professor Gottman can predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether couples—straight or gay, rich or poor, childless or not, will be broken up, together and unhappy, or together and happy several years later. Much of it comes down to the spirit couples bring to the relationship.

Couples who practice kindness and generosity stay together. (Masters)

Couples who practice contempt, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and hostility mostly breakup or are unhappy. (Disasters)

“There’s a habit of mind that the masters have,” Gottman explained in our training. Masters are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully. I call it the 3 A’s. Appreciate, Acknowledge, Acceptance.

Disasters are scanning the social environment for partners’ mistakes.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

  1. criticism
  2. defensiveness
  3. contempt
  4. stonewalling

Contempt is the number one factor that tears couples apart.

1. Couples who are focused on criticizing their partners miss a whopping 50 % of positive things their partners are doing and they see negativity when it’s not there. People who give their partner the cold shoulder (avoidance or putting up walls) choosing to  ignore their partner or responding minimally, damage their relationship by making their partner feel invisible, alone, as if they’re not there, and/or not valued.

Being mean is the death of relationships.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is  the death of relationships.

Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together.

Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, validated and feel loved, connected. The more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.

Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. Exercise it to keep it in shape. A good relationship requires consistent mindfulness and hard work.

When your partner expresses a need (bid) even if you are emotionally not available or tired, or stressed, you still turn toward your partner.

Do not ignore the small moments of emotional connection or they will slowly wear away at your relationship. Neglect creates distance between partners and breeds resentment in the one who is being ignored.

Letting contempt and aggression spiral out of control during a conflict can inflict irrevocable damage on your relationship. This is the time to remember kindness and learn to disengage before things get ugly. Successful couples know and practice this.

ACTION:

1. Make a list of 5 Acts Of Kindness You Will Do Today, each day.

2. 3 A’s. Appreciate, Acknowledge, Acceptance. How? Practice.

See Blog on Practice Not Quarreling.

 

The Sound Relationship House (C) Gottman Institute Used With Permission. Do Not Reproduce.

The Sound Relationship House (C) Gottman Institute Used With Permission. Do Not Reproduce.

 

 

 

Need Relationship Help?

Have Couples Conflict?

CONTACT: 

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Michele Weiner-Davis Divorce Busting Level I ​
Gottman Seven Principles Program Educator
Gottman Method Couple Therapy Level 1 Certificate of Completion
Certified ​MHS ​Bar-On Emotional Intelligence​ EQ-i 2.0 ​Provider
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

 

Couples Conflict Management Intensive

Couples Conflict Management Intensive

Couples Conflict Management Intensive In Atlanta, GA

” Save Your Relationship Workshop “

Couples in Conflict Intensive Workshop Course To End Conflict And Smell The Roses

Director Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management is offering an Intensive For Couples Wanting To Enhance Their Relationship; For those couples who are having trouble in their relationship. If Anger seems to be an overriding emotions that comes up too frequently and too intensely lately, too many arguments, discord ever present, this is for you.

NOTE: RICHARD ONLY OFFERS THIS 2x A YEAR.

Couples Conflict Management Workshop

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of smarnad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

 

FOR:

Couples In Trouble

Relationships where Anger, Depression, Being Stuck, Broken Trust, Broken Promises Exist

Break up or Divorce seems likely

SEEKING:

Creative Partners Invested In Change To Empower Your Relationship.

Important Note: This is not COUNSELING. This is Educational Based Coaching.

WHEN:

Friday Night “Date” Night – July 10, 24 August 7, 14 Four Sessions 6:30PM – 8:00PM

COUPLE COST:

Early Bird Sign-up $240.00 USD – Sign up by June 17
Discount $280.00 – Sign up by July 5
Regular Pricing $360.00 – Sign Up after July 5 12:00AM

Pre-Pay To Reserve Your Two Seats. 3 Couples Only. Total 6 People. Non Refundable.

WE WILL BE LEARNING:

Core Life Skills in the following domains:

• Emotional Intelligence:
self-awareness & self-control, social-awareness and relationship management
• Anger Awareness – ABCDs Of Anger
• Assessments in: Identying Your Trippgers, Passive Anger Behaviors, Aggressive Behaviors, Cognitive Distortions or Assumptions
• Anger Management
• Improved Communication through Assertion Training & Active Listening
• Relationship Management
• Conflict Styles
• Learning to Respond To Another Person’s Anger
• Optimism and Gratitude
• Empathy and Compassion
• Fighting Fair
• Proper Time Outs
• Stop Arguing
• Learning to turn Aggressive Anger into Respectful Anger
• Learning to Live In The Present Moment
• Letting Go Of Past Hurts
• Become Best Friends Again
• Manage Conflict
• Create Shared Meaning
• Create Bucket List Of Dreams & Possibilities
• You are what you consume, Nutrition, Stress, Media

• Time For Couple to Have a Meaningful Private Conversation

WHAT TO EXPECT: Rapid Change And Improvement In Your Relationship.
FORMAT: 1.5 Hour Couple Conflict Intensive Sessions with 3 Couples with 4 Meetups All Commited To Change July 10, 24 and August 7, 14
WHEN:

Friday Night “Date” Night – July 10, 24 August 7, 14 Four Sessions 6:30PM – 8:00PM

No Babies, No Children as they will distract you/others

A Total of Six Hours of Growth and Change

PrePay above to Reserve Your Seat.

NOTE: RICHARD ONLY OFFERS THIS 2X A YEAR.

Call Richard Taylor 678.576.1913 to discuss if you have questions.

INCLUDED:

After the Intensive, each couple will have a free follow up 1 Hour Private Session four weeks later With Richard Taylor.

Take Away For Free: Free workbook of Couple Conflict Intensive for Future Reference

TERMS: Non Refundable
Please plan to attend 4 Consecutive 1.5 Hour Couple Sessions

No Make Up Sessions
If you cancel at last minute you agree to forfeit 90% of paid amount. The remaining 10% will be refunded with 5-7 business days

All USD funds are non refundable. Only Book if you really plan to attend.

In all 6 hours of learning new principles and life skills to steer a new course towards
growing, breaking loose of codependency, becoming best friends again, learning to let go and truly get on with better happier living.

Call Richard at 678-576-1913 for more information or with questions.

WHO SHOULD ATTEND:

DO I NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT HELP?

Any of these currently at work in your relationship?

–>Criticism –> Defensiveness –> Contempt –> Withdrawal

–>Days pass with no happiness and joy

–>Harsh words exchanged daily

–>Name Calling and Blaming a way of life

–>Life’s Passion is gone, just existing is our daily duty

–>Stuck. Destructive patterns exchanged frequently

–>At least one partner never forgets anything and continually revisits them.

–>You hear yourself say: “Our relationship is messed up!”

–>”Oh x#%!, Here we go again!”

1) Your partner puts you down verbally, in private or in front of others.
2) Your partner tells you he/she loves you but behavior shows otherwise.
3) Your partner doesn’t’t want you to see or talk to friends or family.
4) Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your kids.
5) Your partner shows up often at your work unexpectedly or opens your mail.
6) Your partner calls you often to see what you are doing.
7) You cry often or feel depressed over your relationship.
8) Your partner says you would have the perfect relationship if only you would change.
9) Your partner wants you to be dependent on him.
10) Your partner does things for you and then uses them to make you feel obligated.
11) Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments, or words are devalued.
12) You don’t know who you are anymore without him/her, or how you would survive.
13) Your friends/family don’t like your partner or don’t think he is good for you.
14) You have changed things about yourself to suit your partner, even when it is not your taste.
15) You always go where your partner wants to, like movies, restaurants, etc.
16) Your partner has made you feel afraid or unsafe, and you have been afraid to speak the truth at times for fear of upsetting him/her (walking on eggshells).
17) You don’t feel you have control of your life anymore.
18) Your self-esteem is lower since you’ve been with your partner.
19) You think it’s up to you to make the relationship work.
20) You keep secrets about your relationship from others who love you because they wouldn’t understand.
21) Your partner makes you feel unattractive or stupid.
22) Your partner accuses you of cheating and is overly jealous.
23) Your partner can be really sweet to you one minute, and really mean the next.
24) Your partner seems really sweet/loving to you when he/she thinks you are about to leave the relationship, or after he/she has been mean to you.
25) You can’t remember the last time you felt happy for more than a few days straight.
DRESS: Casual
BRING: Snacks, Bottle Drinks if you want.
ENVIRONMENT: Inside Corporate Building

Complimentary Refreshments: Designer Coffees, Hot Tea, Hot Chocolate, Cappuccino, Filtered Water
Purists: Bring your own, bring your own snacks.
Free workbook of Couple Conflict Intensive for Future Reference

There will be break-out time for couples to work alone on their issues, private discussion
and try some of the new ways to be in a relationship.

This is an experience to immerse yourselves into.

Creative Partners Invested In Change To Empower Your Relationship.

WHAT TO EXPECT: Rapid Change And Improvement In Your Relationship.

CONTACT:
Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate of the AAAMP

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Couples Conflict Management, Intensive, Workshop, Anger Management For Couples, Angry Couples Workshop, Atlanta, Conflict Resolution, Couples In Conflict, Couples Conflict Resolution, Couples Counseling, Friday Night, Retreat, Couples Heal Relationship, Couples Retreat, Couples Course, Creating A Healthy Relationship, Emotion Control For Couples, Relationship Counseling for Anger, Save My Relationship, Troubled Relationship Help, Relationship Management, Anger Management, Save My Relationshi

DECIDE FOR PEACE, NOT WAR

DECIDE FOR PEACE, NOT WAR 2014

Save yourself and your relationship!

New Year’s Resolution: PEACE BEGINS WITH ME.

85% of people who call for help with anger and rage issues call because their relationship is in deep crises or one person has “crossed the line” of non-acceptable behavior.

WAR can look like the below situations:

Any of these currently at work in your relationship?

–>Criticism –> Defensiveness  –> Contempt  –> Withdrawal

–>Days pass with no happiness and joy

–>Harsh words exchanged daily

–>Name Calling and Blaming a way of life

–>Life’s Passion is gone, just existing is our daily duty

–>Stuck. Destructive patterns exchanged frequently

–>At least one partner never forgets anything and continually revisits them.

–>You hear yourself say: “Our relationship is messed up!”

–>”Oh x#%!, Here we go again!”

–> Frequent Arguments

–> Anger stays with you for a long period… 1/2 Day, A Day, Two Days…Longer

–> Violence has occurred – Verbal Abuse or Physical Abuse

–> Pushing, hitting, wrestling, choking

–> Days of silence, Shutting down communication

Better get help fast. These are known to kill any relationship.

Stop being at war.

STOP ABCD :
A = Aggressiveness
B = Blame Others
C = Criticize Others
D = Denial

Ask yourself: “Do I really want to be at war here?”

Decide for peace. 

  • Choose to “lose” the argument.
  • Choose to take turns, your way, then my way.
  • Choose to stop arguing
  • Choose to change to subject you are talking about
  • Choose to agree to NOT ARGUE
  • Choose to call Richard and get Professional Help at 678.576.1913


Peace Prayer

Let peace begin with me.

Lead me from death to life
from lies to truth
Lead me from despair to hope
from fear to trust
Lead me from hatred to love
from war to peace 

Lead me to no war, no arguing
Let peace fill my heart, my home, my world
Let peace begin with me.

 Amen

Call Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management
For help with your relationships, for help with conflict, anger, rage.

Call Richard at 678.576.1913

Richard Taylor BS, CAMF

Richard Taylor BS, CAMF

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management 
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

AFFIRMATIONS:
MAKE LOVE NOT WAR
GIVE PEACE A CHANCE
IMAGINE NO WAR
I CAN CHOOSE
I CAN CONTROL MYSELF
I CAN LOVE
I CAN RESPECT OTHERS
I CAN LOVE MYSELF

Happy New Year 2014!

Emotional Intelligence For Couples In Conflict

Emotional Intelligence For Couples In Conflict

By Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF for Atlanta Anger Management

Couples who are experiencing relationship problems often have moved into angry feelings due to frequent exchanges of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling and withdrawal. The relationship seems to be ‘stuck’ in a downward circle of destructive interactions.

Does this describe your relationship? Yes?  … Read on help is available.

Invest in a few 1.5 to 3 hour private couple sessions to get over this toxic way of existing.

Richard will help you by giving you an ACTION PLAN with each session specifically designed just for your issues.

Often these might include:

  • Behavior Reform Contracts
  • Language Reform Contracts
  • 24 Hour Anger Contract
  • List Of What Each Partner Needs And Wants
  • How To Fight Fair Instruction
  • Proper Time Out Methods
  • Learn What Emotional Intelligence Is
  • Using Emotional Intelligence For Better Choices And Outcomes
  • Changing Aggressive Anger Into Respectful Anger For Growth
  • Becoming Creative Partners Invested In Change
  • Move Into Early Relationship Patterns Again
  • Learn To Dialogue Better With Active Listening And Assertion Skills
  • Learn To Have Fun Again And Laugh Often
  • Learn Intimacy Building Skills For Core Strengthening Of The Relationship
  • Build Trust Again
  • Learn To Let The Past Go
  • Learn To Let Emotions Flow Through You Rather Than Days Of Negative Feelings
  • Take A Negative Feeling Word Assessment To ID Your Anger Triggers (Free)
  • Take A Cognitive Distortion Assessment (Free)
  • Take A Passive Aggressive Assessment (Free)
  • Optional: Anger Management Assessment For Each Couple $100.00
  • Learning Communication Styles For Better Emotional Intelligence Outcomes
  • Learn To Control Stress As It Is A Main Cause Of Anger Outbursts, Health Problems
  • Learn That Each Person Is Responsible For Your Present Lousy Relationship
  • End Blame
  • End Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, Stonewalling, And Withdrawal
  • Embrace Constructive Interactions
  • Embrace Change
  • Overcome Childhood ‘Programming’ And Choose A New Path To Healing
  • Learning To Choose Relationship Growth and Happiness
  • Learn To Control Yourself
  • Learn To be Empathetic and Compassionate
  • Become Unstuck and Excel At Intimate, Work, and Public Relationships
  • Learn To Become More Conscious
  • Learn To Balance 4 Domains: Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual Realms
  • Learn To Be Selfless
  • Learn To Become Who You Want To Be
  • Be Coached By An Expert Trained In Anger, Rage, Stress, Emotional Intelligence, Communication, Growth and Couples Conflict Management

A thing to remember we do not offer counseling but rather psycho education to effect change. This is why it is much faster than traditional talk therapy. We focus on solutions, educational training, the positive to help couples change.

The Anderson & Anderson™ Anger Management Model includes Emotional Intelligence as one of its key components.

Please call Richard at 678-576-1913 to set up a couples session.

Hetero – Gay – Lesbian Couples

We suggest starting with a 1.5 hour session than move to a weekly one hour session. Many choose longer sessions to help move into “fixes” more quickly. The choice is yours and in a short time you will know when you are “done”. No pressure, no contracts. If both partners embrace your custom designed ACTION PLAN change will occur quickly.

more…

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the capacity to appropriately respond to emotional stimuli in a way which leads to positive outcomes in yourself and others. EQ is a learned ability to identity, experience, understand, and express human emotions in healthy and productive ways.

Emotional intelligence provided an intervention with a different set of skills which includes managing anger, stress, improving communication and emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is a key component in the Anderson & Anderson™ Model of Anger Management Intervention used by Rev. Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management,
an Anderson and Anderson™ Certified Provider.

In contrast to IQ, which is the ability to manipulate objects and master precision learning, emotional intelligence can be changed, improved at any stage of life. In contrast, IQ remains stable over time and does not predict success in life or relationships.

Research by Goleman and others have shown that success in life and work is not determined by IQ but rather by emotional intelligence (EQ). The brightest students do not necessarily become the most successful.

The emotionally intelligent person is the one who is aware of his own feelings, moods, assets and limitations and is sensitive, empathic and compassionate to others. He or she has the capacity to actively listen to others, give feedback and positively influence others that lead to win – win situations.

By improving your emotional intelligence you will be better able to positively influence both your overall performance and well-being, and get incredible results from your relationships at work and life.

A growing body of research suggests:

  • Emotional Intelligence is a better predictor of success that the more traditional measures.
  • EQ may be the single most important factor in predicting success.
  • A person’s ability to perceive, identify, and manage their emotions provides the basis for the kinds of social and emotional competencies that are important for success in almost any job.
  • 20% of your success is contributed by your IQ.
  • 36% attributable to your emotional intelligence.
  • At least 90% of the difference between outstanding and average leaders is related to emotional intelligence.
  • Explains why some people excel while others of the same caliber lag behind.
  • Emotional intelligence is linked to important work-related outcomes such as individual performance and work related organizational productivity.
  • It is equally important when selecting the next generation of leaders.

Emotional Intelligence matters most in times of change.

It is a measure of your ability to recognize and manage your own feelings and those of other people (partners, family work related staff, colleagues and customers) to produce better results with win-win outcomes.

The skills taught in couples emotional intelligence coaching may include some or all of the following:

  • interpersonal awareness
  • self control
  • anger management
  • interpersonal assertion
  • listening skills
  • empathy, compassion
  • improving communication style for better outcomes
  • self-esteem
  • stress management
  • commitment
  • motivation
  • social awareness
  • flexibility
  • relationship management
  • problem solving – decision making
  • time management

How do issues like substance abuse, anger management and violence relate?

They are the result of unresolved conflicts relating to personal growth and a lack of knowledge about the process of making positive personal changes. Self-defeating and destructive living patterns are the result of learned behavior, any behavior which is learned can be unlearned.

When you work with other people, your relationship with them can really matter.

Using emotional intelligence is all about getting the most out of these relationships in ways that benefit everyone. Whenever you need to work with other people to deliver better outcomes, having the skills to work effectively with them will help you create a better solution and stronger relationships.

When you learn to recognize other’s emotions, you immediately begin to have greater empathy with them and to better connect with them.

Sometimes we respond to situations and people in ways that we may regret. It’s harder to rebuild bridges than it is to establish them. Using emotional intelligence allows you to develop strategies to respond to others comments, incidents and events that would normally push your emotional buttons.

It’s never easy to deal with conflict, but when you are aware of what drives conflict, you will be able to not just cope with the situation, but be able to diffuse the emotions that always accompanies conflict. When you know your own skills and abilities, you can focus on developing in areas that will benefit you most.

Here are some of the skills that can be developed through Emotional Intelligence:

  • Emotional Competency: constitutes the capacity to tactfully respond to emotional stimuli elicited by various situations, having high self-esteem and optimism, communication, tackling emotional upsets such as frustration, conflicts, inferiority complexes, enjoying emotions, doings what succeeds, ability to relate to others.
  • Emotional Maturity: constitutes evaluating your own emotions and those of others. The capacity to identity and express feelings. The ability to balance the state of your heart and mind. Being adaptable and flexible, appreciating another’s point of view, developing others, and delaying gratification of immediate psychological satisfaction.
  • Emotional Sensitivity: constitutes understanding the threshold of emotional arousal, managing the immediate environment, maintain rapport, harmony and comfort with others, letting others feel comfortable in your company while you feel comfortable in your own skin, empathy.
  • Couple Growth: learning how to help your partner feel heard, understood, helped, served, respected, valued and important. Learn to be emotionally sensitive, aware, optimistic, resilient, positive, and responsible. Learn to feel safe, trusted, special, needed, included, cooperative, focused, productive, and motivated.
  • Productivity: Reduce the lost time spent on conflict, turf-battles, defensiveness and insecurity.
  • Goal Setting: Determine ACTION PLAN that keeps promoting positive interactions for better outcomes. Further Sessions address adjusted goals to get to the expected finish line.

For information about training in Couples Emotional Intelligence and / or Couples Conflict Anger Management, please contact  Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF of Atlanta Anger Management in Atlanta, GA.

Please call Richard: 678-576-1913

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator™
Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

Anger In Center of Relationship Troubles

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF  is seeing more couples coming in for help with their relationship problems.

Many report that after 6 months to 2 years working with another counselor they just don’t know what to do, so called up to see what Anger Management is all about. They realize that anger is just getting too frequent and is intensifying.

Richard discloses that Anger and Rage Management is not counseling in fact, but rather Psycho – Education and Training to learn new behavioral strategies when emotions start heating up. The couple quickly learns in a few 1.5 to 3 hour sessions real world tools and techniques to work through the emotions and respond more appropriately to one another in a caring and understanding manner.

Richard often hears “We have learned more in this short time coming than ALL the time with our counselor! We are actually working through our problems and getting back on track again! Thank you.”

It is indeed rewarding helping clients return to the early days of their relationship and learning that a relationship can survive anger once it turns respectful.

Richard has helped stop divorce even when divorce papers have been served. If one person wants to stay married there is a ray of hope. But change has to come fast and be consistent. It is best to not wait to long to come in.

Anger Management with Richard is not what you imagine. Invest in one 1.5 hour visit
and you will come back again eagerly wanting more insights and homework assignments that are getting you above ‘baseline bummed’.

Call Richard today at 678-576-1913 for Anger ~ Rage ~ Couples Conflict Management help.

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator™

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

Areas Served:

• Atlanta, GA
• Metro Atlanta
• Southeast US

• Acworth
• Alpharetta
• Atlanta
• Atlanta NAS
• Auburn
• Austell
• Avondale Estates
• Blairsville
• Bowdon
• Braselton
• Bremen
• Brookhaven
• Buckhead
• Buford
• Canton
• Carrollton
• Cartersville
• Cedartown
• Chamblee
• Clarkston
• College Park
• Conyers
• Covington
• Cumming
• Dacula
• Dallas
• Decatur
• Dobbins Air Force Base
• Doraville
• Douglasville
• Duluth
• Dunwoody
• East Point
• Ellenwood
• Ellijay
• Fairburn
• Fayette
• Fayetteville
• Flowery Branch
• Forest Park
• Glen Haven
• Grayson
• Greensboro
• Hampton
• Hapeville
• Hiram
• Jasper
• Johns Creek
• Jonesboro
• Kennesaw
• Lake Lanier Islands
• Lawrenceville
• Lilburn
• Lithia Springs
• Lithonia
• Locust Grove
• Loganville
• Mableton
• Marble Hill
• Marblehill
• Marietta
• McDonough
• Milton
• Monticello
• Morrow
• Newnan
• Newtown
• Norcross
• North Druid Hills
• Peachtree City
• Perimeter
• I-285
• GA 400
• Powder Springs
• Riverdale
• Rockmart
• Roswell
• Sandy Springs
• Scottdale
• Senoia
• Smyrna
• Snellville
• Stockbridge
• Stone Mountain
• Sunny Side
• Suwanee
• Tallapoosa
• Tucker
• Tyrone
• Union City
• Villa Rica
• Vinings
• Westoak
• Woodstock

•    Location: Atlanta, GA I-285 and 400

• Cherokee County
Includes the cities of Ball Ground, Canton, Holly Springs, Waleska, and Woodstock

• Clayton County
Includes the cities of Forest Park, Jonesboro, Lake City, Lovejoy, Morrow and Riverdale

• Cobb County
Includes the cities of Acworth, Austell, Kennesaw, Marietta, Powder Springs and Smyrna

• DeKalb County
Includes the cities of Avondale Estates, Chamblee, Clarkston, Decatur, Doraville, Lithonia, Pine Lake and Stone Mountain

• Douglas County
Includes the city of Douglasville

• Fayette County
Includes the cities of Brooks, Fayetteville, Peachtree City, Tyrone and Woolsey

• Fulton County
Includes the cities of Alpharetta, Atlanta, College Park, East Point, Fairburn, Hapeville, Johns Creek, Milton, Mountain Park, Palmetto, Roswell and Union City

• Gwinnett County
Includes the cities of Berkeley Lake, Buford, Dacula, Duluth, Grayson, Lawrenceville, Lilburn, Loganville, Norcross, Snellville, Sugar Hill and Suwanee

• Henry County
Includes the cities of Hampton, Locust Grove, McDonough and Stockbridge

• Rockdale County
Includes the city of Conyers