Top 7 Tips How To Be Happy

Top 7 Tips How To Be Happy

Why are happy people happy?

Finding happiness… How?

Finding Happiness went in search for the answer to the question:

“Why are happy people happy?”

Here are our Seven Top Happiness Tips for how to find true and lasting happiness in daily life:

TIP: You may need to print this out and hang on your mirror.

1.) Let go of negativity.

Learn to forgive and forget.

See every challenge as an opportunity for further growth.

Express gratitude for what you have.

Be more optimistic about the future and your ability to accomplish life goals.

Open yourself up to success and embrace failures or mistakes that happen along the way.

Know that none of us are perfect, we are all here to entertain and be entertained.

Don’t worry about the little things.

Take plenty of “worry vacations” where you train your mind not to worry for a certain lengths of time.

If you want to be more positive, surround yourself with positive energy and people.

Nurture the positive relationships that you have, seeking out more of those relationships that help uplift you.

Accept and love yourself for the unique gifts and talents that you bring to life.

Spend less time trying to please others and spend more time trying to please your higher self.

See the humor in life and in our experiences. Take life less seriously and learn to laugh at yourself.

2.) Serve and be kind to others.

Treat everyone with kindness.

Not only does it help others to feel better, but you will notice that you too feel good after having a positive interaction with others.

Speak well of others. When you speak positively of others, you will attract more positivity.

Truly listen to others. Be present and mindful to what others are really saying when they speak. Support them without bringing yourself into it.

Be careful with your words. Speak gentler, kinder, and wiser.

Respect others and their free will.

Put your trust in others and be trusted in return.

Enjoy the sense of community and friendship that comes from this openness and faith in one another.

Work as part of a whole. See others as partners in your efforts. Unite your efforts with them to create a synergy more powerful than anything you could do alone.

Practice generosity and giving without expecting anything in return. Get involved with service opportunities and offer what you can to a greater cause.

Smile more– to family, to co-workers, to neighbors, to strangers– and watch it not only change how you feel but also how they feel too.

3.) Live in the present.

Don’t replay negative events or worry about the future.

Accept and celebrate impermanence.

Be grateful for your life, for each moment of every day. Observe the constant and natural flow of change that surrounds us, and your small yet important part in the natural, divine flow of life.

Observe yourself in the moment. Work on your reactions to outer circumstances and learn how to approach life harmoniously.

4.) Choose a healthy lifestyle.

Keep a daily routine. Wake up at the same time every morning, preferably early. Setting yourself to a natural biorhythm will make it easier to wake up and feel energized.

Get enough sleep. Proper sleep is linked to positive personality characteristics like optimism, improved self-esteem, and even problem solving.

Expose yourself to cold temperatures (especially first thing in the morning with perhaps a cold shower). It increases your circulation, helps minimize inflammation in the body, enhances weight loss, and energizes and invigorates you to start your day.

Turn off the TV. For every hour of TV you watch, you reduce 22 minutes of your life expectancy.

Eat properly. What you eat has a direct effect on your mood and energy levels. Eat plenty of organic, locally grown fruits and vegetables, nuts, whole grains, and dairy products that are both vitamin and mineral infused. Don’t overeat and try to practice healthy self-control.

Exercise daily to the point of sweating. It not only helps to purify the body, but also releases endorphins which help to prevent stress, relieve depression, and positively improve your mood.

Laugh more. Laughter is the best medicine. Like exercise, it releases endorphins that battle the negative effects of stress and promote a sense of well-being and joy.

Practice deep breathing and yoga. The body and mind are connected. Emotions affect the physical systems in the body, and the state of the body also affects the mind. By relaxing and releasing tension through the breath or yoga practice you feel more calm and centered throughout the day.

5.) Take care of your spirit.

Strive to always learn new things. Constantly expand your awareness and discover new ways of expressing your divine gifts.

Get creative. This will not only challenge you to learn new things, but will also help to keep your mind in a positive place. Practice living in the present moment and being a channel for the divine flow of creativity.

Practice meditation. Research has proven that even as little as 10 minutes of meditation a day can lead to physical changes in the brain that improve concentration and focus, calm the nervous system, and help you to become more kind and compassionate, and even more humorous. Then bring the joy and peace you receive from meditation into your daily life and activity.

Be honest. Telling the truth keeps you free inside, builds trust in relationships, and improves your will power and the ability to attract success.

Surrender to the Universe Divine and allow it to take care of the littlest things in life to the greatest and most important.

6. ) Be inwardly free.

Live minimally and simply. Often extravagant living brings more stress not more satisfaction.

De-clutter your home to de-clutter your mind. Clutter is an often unrecognized source of stress that promotes feelings of anxiety, frustration, distraction, and guilt. Feel good in your own home. Make it your sanctuary by keeping it clean, organized, and uplifting.

Go without certain things you think you need. Travel to new places where not everything is as easily accessible or readily available, and learn to appreciate what you have by expanding your world.

Take some time away from life’s complicated outer involvements to get to know your family, your neighbors, and your loved ones better; and to get to know yourself.

7.) Reconnect with Nature.

Take some time every week to recharge your body battery. On the weekend, escape to nature or a place where you can feel peace in time for a fresh start to the work week.

Get outside whenever possible to breathe in the fresh air and feel the sunshine. Both of which studies have shown to have a positive effect on our health and our mood.

Take some time to be silent. Be silent and calm every night for at least 10 minutes (longer if possible) and again in the morning before rising. This will produce an unbreakable habit of inner happiness to help you meet challenges in life.

Observe the natural beauty that surrounds you and feel a sense of connection. Appreciate the details and miracles that can be found in nature.

Taking the Next Steps to Finding Happiness:

Ask yourself what makes you happy, and find ways to restructure your life so that you are able to do more of those things.

Then ask why you struggle to do the things that you know will make you happy.

Why are you not yet happy?

Why haven’t you taken the next steps to find your happiness?

Why are you here?

And what do you need to do to feel a sense of accomplishment in this life?

Visualize yourself happy, doing the things that will bring you inner and outer success in life and write down the things you need to do to create a Happiness Bucket List.

Start with the little things you know you can do each day that will bring you joy. Then move on to accomplish greater and greater things on your happiness bucket list.

Sign up to receive our free daily happiness quotes, and download our happiness tips mini-poster gift to you, or view a list of our favorite happiness quotes.

Share Happiness with your friends:  Movie: http://findinghappinessmovie.com/

Source: http://findinghappinessmovie.com/happiness-tips/

 

Less Anger More Happiness.
Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Couple Talk – Importance of Kindness and Fondness,  ‘Turning Towards’ 

∇ Have you become argumentive lately?

∇ Seem to only see the negative in your partner?

∇ Seem to have bad “moods” a lot lately?

∇ Not as happy as the early days in the relationship?

∇ Wonder when things are going to change?

∇ Feel stuck in your relationship?

∇ Feel not as upbeat as usual?

∇ Tired of fighting?

∇ Ponder getting back at your partner?

∇ Think: Hurt ME, and you will hurt MORE!

Well join the club!  53 % Divorce Rate In USA

Wikipedia Divorce Rates Worldwide

Need a fast change to restore your relationship to better times? Read on…

Masters And Disasters

The Gottman Institute studies of Julie and John Gottman along with many other supporting studies¹  say lasting relationships come down to kindness, fondness, turning towards your partner and an active interest in maintaining intimate friendship over the years.

A question came up: Do unhappy marriages share something in common?

Psychologist John and Julie Gottman along with Robert Levenson for the past four decades has studied thousands of couples in a quest to figure out what makes relationships work.

In 1986, John Gottman with his colleague Robert Levenson  and associates, hooked the couples up to measure the subjects’ blood flow, heart rates, and how much they sweat. The hooked up ‘wiggle-monitors’ to determine the edginess of them wiggling in chairs. They establish base rates and then followed along with a research team behind walls monitoring their vital signs. They had the couples talk about their relationship. Such things like: how they met, a major conflict they were facing together, and positive memories they had. Everything was recorded including videotaping.

The data suggested two major groups: the Masters and the Disasters.

Analyzing the data they saw clear differences between the masters and disasters.

The Masters were still happily together after six years.

The Disasters had either broken up or were chronically unhappy in their marriages.

The Disasters

The disasters looked calm during the interviews but their active physiology told important new data understanding relationships.

  • heart rates were quick
  • sweat glands were active
  • blood flow was fast
  • often edginess in wiggling in chairs

Following thousands of couples longitudinally, The Gottman Institute found that the more physiologically active the couples were in the lab, the quicker their relationships deteriorated over time.

Say What?

The disasters showed signs of arousal—of being in fight-or-flight mode—in their relationships. The Limbric brain is involved here. Specifically the amygdala. This also affects impulse control and the anger response. (Anger Management).

Having a conversation sitting next to their spouse was, to their bodies, like facing off with lions and tigers and bears.

Even when they were talking about pleasant or mundane facets of their relationships, they were prepared to attack and be attacked. This sent their heart rates soaring and made them more aggressive toward each other.

An example: The couple could be talking about how their days had gone, and a highly aroused wife might say to her husband, “Why don’t you start talking about your day. It won’t take you very long.” A put down indeed. This then distances the couple, perhaps the feeling of being disrespected and an anger response arises, even if not expressed.

The Masters

The masters, by contrast, showed low physiological arousal.

They felt:

  • calm and connected together
  • Their vital signs were more normal or returned to normal quickly if aroused
  • translated into warm and affectionate behavior even if they argued.

It’s not that the masters had a better physiological make-up than the disasters. The masters had created a climate of trust and intimacy that made both of them more emotionally and thus physically comfortable.

Professor Gottman wanted to know more about how the masters created that culture of love and intimacy, and how the disasters squashed it.

In 1990, he designed a lab on the University of Washington campus looking like a bed and breakfast apartment deemed “The Love Lab”.  He invited 130 newlywed couples, each couple one at a time, to spend the day at this retreat and watched and recorded as before everything normal couples do: arrive, put up groceries, eat, chat, cook, clean, listen to music, hang out, etc.

Professor Gottman and his team, made a critical discovery in this study. It identified why some relationships thrive while others wither.

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.”

One of John’s favorite examples from my training with them:

The wife who is a bird enthusiast notices a bluebird flying across the yard and finds a perch on a branch. She says quietly to her husband eating cereal while watching TV, “Look …a bluejay outside!” He is apparently absorbed and says nothing to her.

Question: What does the wife feel from this interaction?

Happy?
Sad?
Mad?
Invisible?
Not heard?
Disrespected?
Disconnected?

Joyful?

No… she might feel: Invisible, Not heard, Disrespected, Disconnected

The wife is not just commenting on the bluebird, she is requesting a response from her husband, a sign of interest or support, hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The husband missed his chance with no response. He is effect “turned away.” Silence, no response.

REWIND: How would he “turn towards”?

Professor Gottman suggests the husband grunt, “Huh?” or better “Wow, a sign spring is here.”  I suggest: Put down the cereal and come over and look beside your wife holding her, perhaps better, a hug from behind, a bit of playfulness and a kiss on the cheek.

CHOOSE:  Respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” .

Though the bird-bid might seem minor, it actually reveals a lot about the health of their relationship.

People (Masters) who turned toward their partners in the study responded by engaging the bidder, showing interest and support in the bid. Those who didn’t, (Disasters) those who turned away, would not respond or respond minimally and continue doing whatever they were doing, like watching TV or reading the paper. Sometimes they would respond with overt hostility, saying something like, “Stop interrupting me, I’m reading.”

These bidding interactions had profound effects on marital well-being. Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow up had “turn-toward bids” 33 percent of the time. Only three in ten of their bids for emotional connection were met with intimacy.

The couples who were still together after six years had “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time. Nine times out of ten, they were meeting their partner’s emotional needs.

By observing these types of interactions, Professor Gottman can predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether couples—straight or gay, rich or poor, childless or not, will be broken up, together and unhappy, or together and happy several years later. Much of it comes down to the spirit couples bring to the relationship.

Couples who practice kindness and generosity stay together. (Masters)

Couples who practice contempt, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and hostility mostly breakup or are unhappy. (Disasters)

“There’s a habit of mind that the masters have,” Gottman explained in our training. Masters are scanning social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully. I call it the 3 A’s. Appreciate, Acknowledge, Acceptance.

Disasters are scanning the social environment for partners’ mistakes.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

  1. criticism
  2. defensiveness
  3. contempt
  4. stonewalling

Contempt is the number one factor that tears couples apart.

1. Couples who are focused on criticizing their partners miss a whopping 50 % of positive things their partners are doing and they see negativity when it’s not there. People who give their partner the cold shoulder (avoidance or putting up walls) choosing to  ignore their partner or responding minimally, damage their relationship by making their partner feel invisible, alone, as if they’re not there, and/or not valued.

Being mean is the death of relationships.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is  the death of relationships.

Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together.

Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, validated and feel loved, connected. The more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves, which leads to upward spirals of love and generosity in a relationship.

Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. Exercise it to keep it in shape. A good relationship requires consistent mindfulness and hard work.

When your partner expresses a need (bid) even if you are emotionally not available or tired, or stressed, you still turn toward your partner.

Do not ignore the small moments of emotional connection or they will slowly wear away at your relationship. Neglect creates distance between partners and breeds resentment in the one who is being ignored.

Letting contempt and aggression spiral out of control during a conflict can inflict irrevocable damage on your relationship. This is the time to remember kindness and learn to disengage before things get ugly. Successful couples know and practice this.

ACTION:

1. Make a list of 5 Acts Of Kindness You Will Do Today, each day.

2. 3 A’s. Appreciate, Acknowledge, Acceptance. How? Practice.

See Blog on Practice Not Quarreling.

 

The Sound Relationship House (C) Gottman Institute Used With Permission. Do Not Reproduce.

The Sound Relationship House (C) Gottman Institute Used With Permission. Do Not Reproduce.

 

 

 

Need Relationship Help?

Have Couples Conflict?

CONTACT: 

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Michele Weiner-Davis Divorce Busting Level I ​
Gottman Seven Principles Program Educator
Gottman Method Couple Therapy Level 1 Certificate of Completion
Certified ​MHS ​Bar-On Emotional Intelligence​ EQ-i 2.0 ​Provider
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence