ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP – LOVE TODAY

Anger Management Tip: Love Today

To help dissipate anger…begin to love today.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day.

Some are going to celebrate it tonight, Friday night.

A call out to love. To show the people in your life a special reach out; a special meal together, spending time together, a gift of flowers, candy, a box of chocolate, a teddy bear, some pajamas, some diamonds, a sweet kiss, a tender embrace or some other gift of love and appreciation. Enact love today. Show love today.

TIP:
To help dissipate anger, jealousy, envy, remorse, depression, anxiety, panic, impulse control and more negative emotions and destructive interactions embrace learning to love today.

Dare yourself to grow and become more human. For to love is to be human.

To love is to be more Divine like.

What is love?

What is love in a relationship?

Why do most relationships have their ups and downs?

Why do you feel stressed and angry sometimes, or all the time?

  • What is love?

 

  • God is Love
  • Love is Light
  • Light is God
  • Love is patient
  • Love is kind
  • Love does not envy
  • Love is humility. It is not proud
  • Love is self less, not self seeking
  • Love is not anger
  • Love is slow to high emotions
  • Love is not ill-natured
  • Love is courteous
  • Love is not hate
  • Love is joy
  • Love gives without expectation
  • Love does not keep score
  • Love seeks Truth
  • Love is Truth
  • Truth is Love
  • Love is Trust
  • Trust is Love
  • Love desires another’s happiness
  • Love delights in another’s happiness
  • Happiness is in the heart
  • Love is felt in the heart
  • Love dwells in our hearts
  • Love is polite
  • Love esteems
  • Love praises
  • Love blesses
  • Love is content
  • Love is consistent
  • Love perseveres
  • Love is Charity
  • Love troubles no one
  • Love does not complain 
  • Love does not fret 
  • Love does not whine
  • Love does not nag  
  • Love does not boast
  • Love does not curse
  • Love does not lie
  • Love is not falsehoods
  • Love is not irritable
  • Love wishes well
  • Love does not judge but leaves that to God
  • Love forgives
  • Love lets go
  • Love flows through you
  • Love is respect for others and oneself
  • Love is courteous
  • Love rejoices is another’s success
  • Love treats others as you want to be treated
  • Love submits
  • Love bears all things
  • Love protects
  • Love gives
  • Love is not held onto
  • Love is empathy
  • Love appreciates
  • Love has gratitude
  • Love honors
  • Love is tender
  • Love is mild
  • Love is not violent
  • Love does not hit
  • Love is not harsh
  • Love is affectionate
  • Love is pure
  • Love is not haughty
  • Love is not proud
  • Love is not inflated
  • Love sees true reality
  • Love is not delusion
  • Love is not narcissism
  • Love is not self glamour
  • Love is not self grandeur
  • Love is not conceited
  • Love is not rash
  • Love is slow to act
  • Love is not tumultuous
  • Love is not chaos
  • Love is order
  • Love is peace
  • Love is delight
  • Love is joy
  • Love is laughter
  • Love is joyful dancing
  • Love is babies
  • Love does not desire to be noticed or praised
  • Love is not ignorant
  • Love is high moral values
  • Love weighs consequences
  • Love is not hypocritical
  • Love transcends
  • Love helps us grow
  • Love heals

  • Love inspires

  • Love helps us want to do and be better
  • Love endures
  • Love is forever
  • Love always Hopes
  • True love never fails
  • Love never dies
  • Without love there is no life
  • Love God
  • Love your neighbor
  • Love your partner
  • Love yourself
  • Love well

  • Love defers wrath
  • Love is God
  • God is Love 
 

Have you loved today?

 

QUESTIONS

Have you loved today?

Have you decided to Love God today?

Have you loved your spouse today?

Have you loved your partner today?

Have you loved your children really well today?

Have you loved your family today?

Have you loved your neighbors today?

Have you tried to share yourself and love another?

Have you smiled today in joy?

Have you laughed heartily today?

Have you practiced kindness to a stranger today?

Have you decided to not be impulsive today?

Have you been patient today?

Have you let go of anger today?

Have you let go of jealousy today?

Have you let go of envy today?

Have you let go of counting right and wrong today?

Have you let go of always being right today?

Have you let go of “white” lies today?

Have you stopped being selfish today?

Have you let go of nagging today?

Have you let go of blaming others today?

Have you Respected yourself today?

Have you Respected others today?

Have you treated others as you want to be treated?

Have you stop judging today?

Have you decided to Love God today?

Have you decided to love today?

If not today? When?

Today is now. Tomorrow may never happen.

Death comes to all. When is your last day, your last hour?

Act today. Love today.

It is easy. Just begin. Act. Do.

Your life becomes blessed.

Love overshadows all other emotions. Let love dissipate or dissolve your problems and anger.

What is love to you? Comments welcome.

Note: If you make hateful negative comments then you are deleted… so do not waste your time…for some it is hard to love…

 CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management 
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

A Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

 

DISSAPATE ANGER WITH LOVE PRACTICE

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP : Love Others

If we choose to love more each day our anger will dissolve.

Love comes from the heart. As Valentine’s Day is upon us we see a lot of heart symbols on everything. Besides buying flowers, exchanging cards, getting large teddy bears, eating chocolate just maybe the real meaning to Valentine’s Day is to remind us to reach out of ourselves and actually learn to love another person well. To give them what all humans want: To be loved.

I always wondered why I give on Valentine’s but almost never received. Is it women want but don’t give? Is it tradition? I always felt loved. Yes and that was enough.

A wisdom teaching we heard in this video LETTING GO

Lesson 3: Give without expectation
That works perfectly for Valentines and every day after.

then…

I learn to give love without expectation.

Jesus told us to love unconditionally. To love those who insult you, love those who hate you. Maybe even love those who are angry with you! Tip: Remain silent and do not return their energy as it emboldens the aggressive person. Things get worse then. It is so hard to be silent. Impulse Control. Most angry people do not have any Impulse Control. So this is a profound teaching to us angry folks. Impulse Control is a key to good Anger Management. Mmm…be silent.

Jesus two commandments were: Love God And Love Your Neighbor. Simple right? Well most of us forget both.

Anger Management Tip:
Please consider this Valentine Day and each day after to practice the art of loving from the heart with intention. To give love without expectation. To smile at another without expecting anything in return. To practice random acts of kindness. To practice changing our negativity to positive thoughts and actions.

To let love flow through us. With intent we do not try to hold onto love. It is meant to be like a river….as it flows out more flows in to replace it. If we hold onto it, love becomes stagnant like a pond that needs draining.

So with intention I try to reach out to love others without expecting anything back. As I do so each day anger and other negative emotions dissolve and come up less.

This is good anger management. Love. Love without expectation.

For other anger management, stress management, communication life skills see our blog

or have courage and seek professional help with Richard Taylor. You will immediately feel better and be given Action Steps to get change started right away. Others will see and experience real changes in you for the better. Relationship Conflict eases.

Have courage and call today. Call Richard Taylor at 678.576.1913

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management 
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678.576.1913
Fax: 1-866.551.1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

A Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

DISSAPATE ANGER WITH LOVE PRACTICE

SIGNS YOUR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP IS IN TROUBLE

SIGNS YOUR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP IS IN TROUBLE 8


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Smart Tip: Get help when things start going downhill. Nip things in the bud.
 
 

“Couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy with their relationship before getting help,” said John Gottman, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington and executive director of The Gottman Research Institute in Seattle. 1

 
Many couples never seek any help and either break up or head to a divorce attorney.
 
The divorce rate in the United States is the highest in the world. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Sixty-seven percent of all second marriages end in divorce and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.2
 
Fifty percent of all children are children of divorce. 40.8% of all children are born of never married parents. 3
 
Divorce is expensive.
 

“It’s a lot more expensive to maintain two separate households and you’re having to do it on the same amount of income,” said Jeff Landers, CDFA, President of Bedrock Divorce Advisors in New York.

 
The impact of divorce is huge in their own lives and that of their children.
 
When children have a hard time, boys and girls suffer equally. They differ in how they suffer. Boys are more externally symptomatic acting out their anger, frustration and hurt. Boys may get into trouble in school; fight more with peers and parents. Girls tend to internalize their distress. They may become depressed, develop headaches, stomach aches, and have changes in their eating and sleeping patterns. Aggressive anger or passive anger is often felt and acted out.
 

What should people experiencing relationship/marriage problems do?
 

Get help when things start going downhill. Nip things in the bud.
 
 

Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the fairest harmony. 4

 
 
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Signs Of Trouble:

 
1 You’re Thinking About Having An Affair – STOP!
 

Having an affair outside the marriage/relationship does not solve your unhappiness.
Fact is affairs create unintended problems, generating a life of their own with unintended consequences no one can anticipant. It is not worth it. Stop the mental projections, the wishing immediately when they come up. Change your focus back towards your partner and seek help if you cannot work things out.
 
Bear in mind that counselors varying greatly on what they actually are committed to helping you accomplish.
Some have the goal of saving the relationship/marriage and is the driving point of their work; others maintain a goal of separate partner (individual) bliss. Divorce/Separation for the later is often guaranteed. Know your counselor point of view and goals before engaging them. Ask for a disclosure. Ask an open ended question like: ‘What is your main goal when working with couples with problems?’
 
Try and figure out if the counselor/anger management expert:
 
A. Fight for relationship/marriage at all costs
B. Main concern of the work is individual happiness and wellbeing
 
Instead of talk therapy, check out Anger ManagementCouples Conflict Management.
Atlanta Anger Management Couples Conflict Management is not talk therapy counseling.
 
It is client education and training re-framing the relationship patterns, enhancing assertive communication and active listening. It is increasing awareness of anger and other negative emotions triggers and hot buttons to understand relationship dynamics and handle them in a more productive way. It is changing destructive behavior patterns into more positive relationship patterns that are sustainable. It is not a short term fix but a new way of being/living. It is maintaining an exciting new way of being. Commit to being a “Creative Partner Invested In Positive Change”6.
 
Affairs Continued…
 
Once emotional or sexual involvement goes outside a marriage, the issues needing to be addressed become background issues.
 
Problems magnify and get worse:
 
• Lies
• Not doing what you say – See: Be Impeccable
• Broken promises
• Deceit
• Guilt
• Building Walls of separation
• Avoidance
• Less time spend together
• Shame
• Increased suspicions
• Trust erodes
• Responsibility diminishes
• Character flaws are magnified
• Love is crushed and turns to contempt
• I do not care anymore = death of relationship
 
If you’re considering being unfaithful, it signals something is wrong with your relationship.
Ask yourself and be honest. “Can I resist temptation?”
 
If someone threw themselves on me … Can I resist without thought because I am totally committed to my partner. This is what is needed even if you are fighting right now.
 
Remember: Any indiscretion is always found out. The Truth always is found out. The News verifies this daily.
 
There are solutions to your problems. Call Richard Taylor 678.576.1913
 
2 You Fight About The Same Thing Over and Over and Over
 
You should know with a 50% chance of marriage lasting that Marriage and Conflict happening is not if but when. Arguing from time to time is perfectly normal and is expected. That is not a problem. The problem is outlined with further points below.
Accept The Unsolvable
 
According to relationship scientist John Gottman, 69% of relationship conflicts are persistent problems, meaning they revolve around issues that tend to resurface no matter how long you’ve been together. If you find a problem seems to call up painful emotions, you’re looking at one that’s persistent.1
 
To stop this trouble from ruining your relationship, you’ll need to address the bigger issues underlying your difficulty. Take turns discussing with your partner what this loaded issue really means to you. When your partner is talking, your job is to listen, be nonjudgmental and to find something in her/his perspective that makes sense to you. When it’s your turn to talk, she/he should be doing the same thing. By treading more gently into touchy areas, you should at least be able to agree to disagree or make some small concessions for one another. Accept that some things are not solvable. It is best to not talk about it. Couples who have been together a long time have embraced this concept and saved their marriage by doing so.
 
Couples who focus on the negatives in their relationship surely self destruct.1
 
It is best to practice LIVING IN THE MOMENT and not bringing up the past. Live right now. Also do not project these beliefs into the future. Say: “ That was then, this is now.” All I can experience is right now. Work on catching negative thoughts and choose to ‘change the channel” with positive thoughts. Like “What is it I like most about my partner?” Focus with intention for 10-30 seconds on the good to help imprint it on the brain to rewire it.
 
3 Spending Less Time Together
 
 

“The number one cause for the breakdown in marriages today is couples aren’t spending enough time together.” 7 – Michele Weiner Davis

 
 
Everything is more important than setting aside sacred time for one another. Whether it’s work, kids, meetings, clubs, church, temple, friends, working out, hobbies, golf, sports, TV, social media, relatives, and so on, everything seems to take precedence over the relationship. When this happens, couples stop being friends and their emotional connection suffers. They begin leading separate lives. The often become housemates.
 
Marriage will remain in danger unless you change this. Make it your joint mission to re-establish couple time together and family time together. Perhaps real meals rather than fast food eating. Outdoor activities help relieve stress and help bonding. Put away your cell phones, texting, listening to “your” music. Embrace being present to those around you. Get out of yourself and into your relationships. You can choose to change. But no one can make you. Each person has to decide to let others in.
 
4 Talking About Superficial Topics
 

Communication is one of the keys to lasting relationships.
 
Partners often have different needs when it comes to talking. Often guys like to talk “about” things, while women like to often talk about their emotions and the meaning of things, events, family, deeper conversations that force us to think, feel, emote and define our beliefs. This is often harder work than the surface talk.
 
The “talker” in the marriage/relationship often feels let down, hurt, frustrated and alone because their partner does not participate willingly in the dialogue.
 
The “talker” sometimes talks about their needs and what needs fixing in the relationship which results in the partner shutting down and wants to disengage in the conversation. These produce avoidance, putting up walls and further shuts down communication. The result is negative feelings that might include frustration, isolation, uncooperativeness, unhappiness, loneliness, not being connected and depression.
Having these talks of the heart is needed to promote intimacy, acceptance, reliance, love, safety and security. Maybe even the feeling of feeling cherished. Being reluctant to engage in these conversations put your relationship at risk.
 
Unmet needs and boundary violations are the two main reasons anger is often felt and expressed.
 
So conversations discussing important matters about finances, your own feelings, loved ones, future plans and goals, what is working and not working, behavior change requests, etc are vastly important. Couples usually are able to move into these conversations in their 30’s and on. Not having them can make the relationship seem superficial, light and not very serious. Many, many people remain adolescent in their self development no matter what age they are. They are just not willing to do any self growth work.
 
5 Escalating Fights
 

Often we find our vocabulary limited and we rely on the same expression over and over and our conversations repeat themselves. He/she says the same thing, she/he responds always in the same way. We are on a gerbil round treadmill repeating the same relationship dynamics. We hear ourselves say…”Oh no, here we go again!”
 
This often leads to anger, contempt and withdrawal. Avoidance is a key destructive interaction in relationships.
 
Pay attention and notice if you are having the same fights.
 
If these arguments are growing in intensity you must act and do something about them. Seek outside professional help very soon, not six years from now! Sometimes these escalating fights manifest into either verbal abuse or physical abuse.
 
Rule #1 In Anger Management: Do Not Touch Your Partner When Angry. You Will Get Arrested.
 
Both verbal abuse or physical abuse are destructive to lasting relationships so act and get help.
 
Aggressive Communication Style often has components of:
 
Inattention

• Interrupting

• Control

• Manipulation

• Intimidation

• Hostility
 
These ongoing ever repeating fights or arguments definitely showcase that deeper underlying issues are not being addressed. Most often communication skills are lacking that healthy couples have. These communication skills can be learned so that unresolved issues can be worked through. We offer help in communication skills. Inquire.
 
6 Having Little Or No Sex
 
Usually one partner has a lower sex drive than the other partner. In other words one partner wants sex more often than the other. The problem arises when the partner with the lower sex drive refuses their spouse’s feelings and rejects most, if not all, sexual advances.
 
Often this results in hurt feelings, frustration, rejection, feeling unwanted, feeling deflated, emotionally disconnected, angry and desperate.
 
If this goes on too long be wary of one partner disconnecting and becoming removed. Intimacy ends. This can often lead to infidelity. Even if only emotional infidelity.
 
Divorce also happens.
 
Once you experience these feelings, many things can happen. You stop enjoying each other’s company, spending time together, connecting emotionally, and being friends. If you don’t do something about it the death of the relationship often results. Or you become housemates for the duration with little empathy or love for the other. You move into existence mode. This is unnatural and not healthy, especially when children are involved.
 
I have helped many couples that are sleeping in separate bedrooms, in essence co-existing.
 
If this is a religious decision of sexual abstinence that is a choice and is healthy and a positive thing, but most people are not in that situation. It is isolation, alienation that causes it.
 
If a spouse is not getting enough sex, or would like more frequency while the other not, you both need to examine the reasons it’s happening. If might be necessary get professional help in Sex Therapy. Do whatever it takes to re-create passion and intimacy in your marriage. Action is called for.
 

7 Focusing more on kids than each other
 
Fact: Empty Nesters are still divorcing in droves. Once the children leave home, the relationship often feels overwhelmingly void.9
Today’s American culture (and many others) has become very Child Centric; meaning making our children our number one priority placing them in the center of our lives.
 
Everything is about our children.
 
Often when we live this way, our marriages suffer. It is hard to follow the sage wisdom: God First, Spouses Second, Children Third, Parents Fourth. 10
 
Be careful to not feel more connected to your children than your partner. Doing so often disconnects us from our spouses, resulting in us becoming strangers. This empties the marriage of intimacy.
 
Making the marriage the most important thing in your lives is the best thing you can do for your children. Your children benefit enormously when you have loving close relationship, as it models what a good marriage is, giving them the image framework to repeat it in their own adult lives.
It also helps marital longevity more likely.
 
TIP: Analyze your family life. Are you on auto pilot? Are you placing your relationship to God 1st, Spouse 2nd, Children 3rd, Parents 4th? If not, try to change as this will put your marriage on a better path towards lasting fulfillment.

“Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.” – Heraclitus 3

 

QUESTIONS:

 
Do you see yourself in any of the above?
 
Do you see partner in any of the above?
 
Do you admit you might need to tweak some things?
 
Great. Awareness is the first key to change and make things better.
 
Do not be static, stuck and remain in your relationship patterns.
 
Do something.
 
Take a positive step and invest in your relationship/marriage, It is worth the cost of money, time, effort and growth.

Change is the only constant. All is flux, nothing is stationary. Everything flows and nothing stays. 3 – Heraclitus

Be exceptional and do not wait years, 2013 is the year. Heed these warnings if you are living them.
 
Make the call to Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management at 678.576.1913
 
When you do, your marriage/relationship will be a healthier, happier place to be and you will live longer due to less stress. Really.
 
 
CONTACT
Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers
Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA
Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: http://www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com
Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

A Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence
 
At Atlanta Anger Management, Atlanta, GA  Anger Management is offered:

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References:
1. The Gottman Research Institute
2. Leo Averbach, Author, Breakup: Enduring Divorce; BreakupAid
Follow Leo Averbach on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Breakupwriter
3. Heritage Foundation – America’s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty
4. Heraclitus – Ηράκλειτος (Herakleitos; Heraclitus) of Ephesus (c.535 BC – 475 BC) was a Greek philosopher
Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.
5. Ancient version of the Taijitu (太極圖), origins from Lai Zhi-De (來知德) alias Lai Qu-Tang (來瞿唐) 1525-1604). Black and white swirls around a transparent circle.
6. “Creative Partners Invested In Positive Change” © Richard Taylor 2009
7. Michele Weiner-Davis MSW http://www.divorcebusting.com/
8. Michele Weiner-Davis MSW http://www.divorcebusting.com/
9. Empty Nests and Empty Marriages
10. Happy Wives Club