9 Ways Therapists Can Tell If Your Relationship Is Going To Survive

9 Ways Therapists Can Tell If Your Relationship
Is Going To Survive

1. You have fun together.

“The skills couples need to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship aren’t obvious because people don’t talk about them,” says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. “Most couples need to lower their expectations of romance and glamour and raise the level of fun they have together,” she says. This means having regular dates and check-in talks, plus taking time to enjoy activities together. “Successful couples make plans to try new things together, go out, have fun, laugh, and play,” adds Marni Feuerman, a marriage expert in Boca Raton, Florida. “They know that novelty breathes positive energy into a relationship.”

2. You’re trustworthy.

Hiding purchases, online relationships, or your feelings from your spouse? That’s a big no-no. “Couples in successful marriages have each other’s backs and do not keep secrets,” says Feuerman. “They behave in ways that better both each other and the relationship—not just themselves.”

3. You’re in it together.

“The most powerful thing you can do to keep a marriage strong is form a partnership in which both parties feel respected, cared about, and needed,” says Tessina. Even if you’re having problems, if you approach them as a team they’re easier to solve. Michael J. Salamon, PhD, a couples therapist based in Hewlett, New York and author of Every Pot Has a Cover: A Proven System for Finding, Keeping and Enhancing the Ideal Relationship, points to a couple he recently worked with as a great example of teamwork. “Financial stress caused them to cut their budget way back, and the stress was exacerbated every month when bills arrived,” he explains. The couple fought a lot about what to pay and when. So Salamon asked them to develop a plan to manage their bills while he observed them. “Just giving them the task of working on it together changed the tone. They saw the challenge now as something that belonged to both of them and, and something they should work on together,” he says.

4. You touch each other.

Often. Couples who love each other show it, even during the difficult times that land them in therapy. If you want your marriage to make it, touch your partner as often as possible (put your hand on your spouse’s leg while driving; give him a little squeeze now and then; hug and kiss each other.) Make a point to cuddle in front of the television, on the porch swing, or in your bedroom. “Intimacy is the art of making your partner feel understood and accepted,” says Tessina. “When this feeling is created, barriers fall.” And that brings us to sex. “If a marriage is going to last, both partners need to be able to demonstrate their love by giving and receiving physical affection,” says Feuerman. “A romantic relationship is a sexual relationship and not just a platonic friendship.”

5. You let go of grudges.

Simply put, resentment will destroy a marriage. So you need to step up and say “I’m upset because X.” “When one spouse claims to be ‘fine’ when he is in fact agitated, it creates an environment in which one person has to guess the other’s true feelings, and no one likes that game,” says Karissa Brennan, a New York City-based psychotherapist and founder of Cloud Counseling, an online counseling site. “The more you show your partner what bothers you, the more she’ll understand how to help you through it,” she says. Marriages are successful when couples learn to express their feelings clearly and respectfully in the moment.

6. You lean in.

Not in a Sheryl Sandberg kind of way, but in a body language kind of way. “A tilt of the head, a shift of the leg, a look or a change in tone can all indicate a breakthrough, a change in awareness that says they are now hearing, understanding and are being responsive to one another,” says Salamon. He cites a couple he recently worked with where the wife felt like her husband didn’t show affection anymore. After a bit of back and forth it became clear that mornings for the couple were especially hectic. “I asked if they kiss one another good-bye when they leave every morning and hello when they get home every night,” he says. “They committed right then and there to kiss more, even if just in passing, and to have one date night a week.”

7. You like and respect each other.

Spouses in successful marriages really strive to meet each other’s needs simply because they genuinely like to see their partners happy. “They’re concerned when their spouse seems unhappy and don’t just blow it off, thinking ‘that’s his problem,’ ” says Feuerman. They ask what’s wrong when something seems off. They offer solutions. And they show gratitude and appreciation for each other by thanking them and hearing them out.

8. You empathize with each other.

“I notice if couples are empathizing with each other, listening attentively, and responding,” says Feuerman. “Good partners turn toward each other—not away—when one of them is trying to make an emotional connection.” Likewise, successful couples try hard to avoid gridlock on issues. “Some issues in a relationship are just not solvable (for example, personality traits) so a couple that is going to make it practices things like tolerance, empathy, and negotiation when problems arise,” says Feuerman.

9. You make up the right way.

The biggest clue to whether a marriage is sustainable is how couples reunite after a tiff, says Jeannette Raymond, PhD, a licensed marriage therapist in Los Angeles and author of Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t!. “Taking the initiative to invite your partner back into your world after a disappointment is a good sign,” she says. “It doesn’t mean you have necessarily gotten over it, but it shows that your need to restore your emotional connection and security in the relationship takes precedence over your hurt feelings.” These couples want to make it work and recognize that sometimes that means saying you’re sorry and sticking around to solve the problems. Adds Feuerman: “One of the most important things I notice is that the couple views their marriage as a life-long journey and not something to quickly bail on when things get rough. The couples that make it ride out the ups and downs together as a team and stay committed.”

Source: http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/love-sex/9-ways-therapists-can-tell-if-your-relationship-is-going-to-survive/ss-AAcm2x1?ocid=UP97DHP&fullscreen=true#image=2

LOCAL ATLANTA COUPLES CONFLICT HELP:

CONTACT:

Richard TaylorDirector Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Turning Towards Your Partner – Worksheet USE IT!

Turning Towards Your Partner* – Worksheet      USE IT!

1. A kiss before he/she dashes out the door. Your partner may be in a frenetic rush to work, but one never knows when you may never see your partner again. Embrace the moment and express your love ALWAYS, even if you had a argument.  A kiss, a hug…say “I love You! Have a good day/trip/have fun,” something!

2. Refusing to let your clothes wrinkle in the dryer. When you don’t hear its ending cycle buzz, know your partner answers the call, and chooses to be proactive folding the clothes before those iron-resistant creases can set in.

3. Pulling the blanket over a bare shoulder. You’ve crashed on the couch, uncovered—but your partner comes to the rescue with a blanket so that you won’t awake shivering in the cold.

4. You could use your partner’s first name, but instead use a nickname or pet name instead.

5. Displays Of Affection. Check! Whether you’re strolling side by side on a sidewalk, walking through a crowded venue, or hunkered down on the couch, choose to hold hands, touch, displays of affection.

6. Texting midday just to say hello.  Send a simple check-in message, read the subtext of the text: It’s always “I was thinking of you.” Leave a Post It Note®  “I love you!”  ” I want you!”

7. Whip out a candle at dinnertime. Even leftovers devoured on the sofa are made romantic when your partner adds a little candlelight action to the coffee table. Display one flower. Nice.

8. Keeping notes. You may not have the memory of an elephant, but because you want to remember things, write it down. Take a picture. Make a voice note on your phone.

9. Celebrating the small stuff. Life is made of Moments, make each day a day to be grateful for the gift of life, for the small “wins”, the little something that stands out noticed. Share that!

10. “Remember that one time?” Remember the good times, the funny times, the times when everything was great! Show your romantic side by regularly reminiscing about these times.

11. Create joy by adopting a positive more fun attitude. Work on adding humor and laughter in your lives. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Buy a joke book and read to each other. Find funny people to become friends with. Ditch negative folks….or minimize your exposure to them. Choose to be UP, not down. Choose to try to be kind to your partner.

What are you going to do?

Name Name
1.2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

1.2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

 

* Gottman Method – Sound Relationship House

Turning towards your partner builds up “Your Bank Account Of LOVE”. Positivity. Couples who have life long relationships build up, not tear down. Turning towards Today.

 

The saying goes…”Random Acts Of Kindness.”

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/inspirational-kindness-quotes

 

Couples Workshop: 

Couple Private Sessions

For Help Contact:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Certified MHS Emotional Intelligence EQ-i 2.0 Provider
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Richard Taylor

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger, Emotional Intelligence, Stress, Communication, Couples

EQi-2.0 Certified - Richard Taylor

Couples Conflict Management Intensive

Couples Conflict Management Intensive

Couples Conflict Management Intensive In Atlanta, GA

” Save Your Relationship Workshop “

Couples in Conflict Intensive Workshop Course To End Conflict And Smell The Roses

Director Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management is offering an Intensive For Couples Wanting To Enhance Their Relationship; For those couples who are having trouble in their relationship. If Anger seems to be an overriding emotions that comes up too frequently and too intensely lately, too many arguments, discord ever present, this is for you.

NOTE: RICHARD ONLY OFFERS THIS 2x A YEAR.

Couples Conflict Management Workshop

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of smarnad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

 

FOR:

Couples In Trouble

Relationships where Anger, Depression, Being Stuck, Broken Trust, Broken Promises Exist

Break up or Divorce seems likely

SEEKING:

Creative Partners Invested In Change To Empower Your Relationship.

Important Note: This is not COUNSELING. This is Educational Based Coaching.

WHEN:

Friday Night “Date” Night – July 10, 24 August 7, 14 Four Sessions 6:30PM – 8:00PM

COUPLE COST:

Early Bird Sign-up $240.00 USD – Sign up by June 17
Discount $280.00 – Sign up by July 5
Regular Pricing $360.00 – Sign Up after July 5 12:00AM

Pre-Pay To Reserve Your Two Seats. 3 Couples Only. Total 6 People. Non Refundable.

WE WILL BE LEARNING:

Core Life Skills in the following domains:

• Emotional Intelligence:
self-awareness & self-control, social-awareness and relationship management
• Anger Awareness – ABCDs Of Anger
• Assessments in: Identying Your Trippgers, Passive Anger Behaviors, Aggressive Behaviors, Cognitive Distortions or Assumptions
• Anger Management
• Improved Communication through Assertion Training & Active Listening
• Relationship Management
• Conflict Styles
• Learning to Respond To Another Person’s Anger
• Optimism and Gratitude
• Empathy and Compassion
• Fighting Fair
• Proper Time Outs
• Stop Arguing
• Learning to turn Aggressive Anger into Respectful Anger
• Learning to Live In The Present Moment
• Letting Go Of Past Hurts
• Become Best Friends Again
• Manage Conflict
• Create Shared Meaning
• Create Bucket List Of Dreams & Possibilities
• You are what you consume, Nutrition, Stress, Media

• Time For Couple to Have a Meaningful Private Conversation

WHAT TO EXPECT: Rapid Change And Improvement In Your Relationship.
FORMAT: 1.5 Hour Couple Conflict Intensive Sessions with 3 Couples with 4 Meetups All Commited To Change July 10, 24 and August 7, 14
WHEN:

Friday Night “Date” Night – July 10, 24 August 7, 14 Four Sessions 6:30PM – 8:00PM

No Babies, No Children as they will distract you/others

A Total of Six Hours of Growth and Change

PrePay above to Reserve Your Seat.

NOTE: RICHARD ONLY OFFERS THIS 2X A YEAR.

Call Richard Taylor 678.576.1913 to discuss if you have questions.

INCLUDED:

After the Intensive, each couple will have a free follow up 1 Hour Private Session four weeks later With Richard Taylor.

Take Away For Free: Free workbook of Couple Conflict Intensive for Future Reference

TERMS: Non Refundable
Please plan to attend 4 Consecutive 1.5 Hour Couple Sessions

No Make Up Sessions
If you cancel at last minute you agree to forfeit 90% of paid amount. The remaining 10% will be refunded with 5-7 business days

All USD funds are non refundable. Only Book if you really plan to attend.

In all 6 hours of learning new principles and life skills to steer a new course towards
growing, breaking loose of codependency, becoming best friends again, learning to let go and truly get on with better happier living.

Call Richard at 678-576-1913 for more information or with questions.

WHO SHOULD ATTEND:

DO I NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT HELP?

Any of these currently at work in your relationship?

–>Criticism –> Defensiveness –> Contempt –> Withdrawal

–>Days pass with no happiness and joy

–>Harsh words exchanged daily

–>Name Calling and Blaming a way of life

–>Life’s Passion is gone, just existing is our daily duty

–>Stuck. Destructive patterns exchanged frequently

–>At least one partner never forgets anything and continually revisits them.

–>You hear yourself say: “Our relationship is messed up!”

–>”Oh x#%!, Here we go again!”

1) Your partner puts you down verbally, in private or in front of others.
2) Your partner tells you he/she loves you but behavior shows otherwise.
3) Your partner doesn’t’t want you to see or talk to friends or family.
4) Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your kids.
5) Your partner shows up often at your work unexpectedly or opens your mail.
6) Your partner calls you often to see what you are doing.
7) You cry often or feel depressed over your relationship.
8) Your partner says you would have the perfect relationship if only you would change.
9) Your partner wants you to be dependent on him.
10) Your partner does things for you and then uses them to make you feel obligated.
11) Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments, or words are devalued.
12) You don’t know who you are anymore without him/her, or how you would survive.
13) Your friends/family don’t like your partner or don’t think he is good for you.
14) You have changed things about yourself to suit your partner, even when it is not your taste.
15) You always go where your partner wants to, like movies, restaurants, etc.
16) Your partner has made you feel afraid or unsafe, and you have been afraid to speak the truth at times for fear of upsetting him/her (walking on eggshells).
17) You don’t feel you have control of your life anymore.
18) Your self-esteem is lower since you’ve been with your partner.
19) You think it’s up to you to make the relationship work.
20) You keep secrets about your relationship from others who love you because they wouldn’t understand.
21) Your partner makes you feel unattractive or stupid.
22) Your partner accuses you of cheating and is overly jealous.
23) Your partner can be really sweet to you one minute, and really mean the next.
24) Your partner seems really sweet/loving to you when he/she thinks you are about to leave the relationship, or after he/she has been mean to you.
25) You can’t remember the last time you felt happy for more than a few days straight.
DRESS: Casual
BRING: Snacks, Bottle Drinks if you want.
ENVIRONMENT: Inside Corporate Building

Complimentary Refreshments: Designer Coffees, Hot Tea, Hot Chocolate, Cappuccino, Filtered Water
Purists: Bring your own, bring your own snacks.
Free workbook of Couple Conflict Intensive for Future Reference

There will be break-out time for couples to work alone on their issues, private discussion
and try some of the new ways to be in a relationship.

This is an experience to immerse yourselves into.

Creative Partners Invested In Change To Empower Your Relationship.

WHAT TO EXPECT: Rapid Change And Improvement In Your Relationship.

CONTACT:
Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate of the AAAMP

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

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RELATIONSHIP TIP

RELATIONSHIP TIP

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.

Martin Luther King, Jr.


Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/martin_luther_king_jr.html#MRHCc8gewKZt438D.99

Couples Conflict Management Help

Individual Couple Sessions

CONTACT

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Richard Taylor BS, CAMF

Richard Taylor BS, CAMF

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Oldest Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence