Father’s Day Drama – Focus On The Positives

Father’s Day Drama – Focus On The Positives

With a large percentage of multiple parent families¹ these days being civil to all involved can be an exercise in restraint, taking the higher road, control of impulses and  using emotional intelligence.

Lesson today: Focus on Positives and being Kind.

Case Study: This weeks Father Day’s Aftermath News…

Denise Richards Had The Best Response To Charlie Sheen’s Angry Father’s Day Tweets

Charlie Sheen showed that he can still totally shock people when he took to Twitter during Father’s Day yesterday, targeting ex-wife Denise Richards and branding her ‘the worst mum alive’.

Luckily, Denise was taught to kill such nasty comments with kindness, and responded on her own Twitter in the best way possible.

Charlie, 49, went on something of a vile Twitter rant on Sunday, taking aim at his 44-year-old ex-wife (and the mother of two of his kids, 11-year-old Sam and 10-year-old Lola), writing: “Brooke M is a sexy rok star whom I adore D Richards a heretic washed up piglet Shame pile Happy Father’s Day!!! [sic]”

Brooke M most likely refers to Brooke Mueller, his third ex-wife and the mother of his twin sons Bob and Max, who were once in Denise’s custody.

He wasn’t done there though, continuing on to add: “Cadre: On FD; Father’s Rights! I INSIST we devour the mendacity of these “kidnapping” D Richards “types” & bring justice to “us,”.“

He later seemed to clear up what he was referring to (sort of) in a “open letter to the media,” in which he hints that his anger stems from a conflict over money. Possibly.

The letter starts by saying: “Denise Richards is a shake down piece of s**t doosh phace & worst mom alive!”

The whole Twitlonger is removed along with his other tweets deleted.

Denise Response:
Happy Dad’s Day! @charliesheen have a great trip in Mexico! Kids were disappointed u weren’t here for it- Hey we’ll celebrate when u r back!

However, rather than fighting fire with fire, Denise had THE classiest response to the rant, tweeting simply to wish Charlie a Happy Father’s Day.

She wrote: “Happy Dad’s Day! @charliesheen have a great trip in Mexico! Kids were disappointed u weren’t here for it- Hey we’ll celebrate when u r back!”

Kill them with kindness, babes.

And Happy Fathers Day to all the dads including my own dad Irv! Best dad ever & an amazing Grandpa!

Yup ain’t that the truth https://t.co/5SZyosCvat

She later tweeted another message to all the other amazing dads in the world, before retweeting a Twitter user’s inspirational message about not letting negativity get you down.

YAAAAAS

Other Twitter users were ready to show the actress a ton of support following her message, with Louise Mensch writing: “classy and classic burn, sis.”

Source: http://rachelannepilcher.tumblr.com/post/122156541802/denise-richards-had-the-best-response-to-charlie

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ADVICE: If you cannot control your impulses you should not use Social Media. See first Episode of HBO “Ballers” starring Dwayne Johnson on Sunday nights. Advice he gives to one of the characters who destroys his career with impulse control issues.

Denise Richards teaches us to focus on the Positives and being Kind. You cannot control another but you can CHOOSE to control yourself. As I say, “Another’s person’s chaos is theirs, not yours.” Remain neutral and do not get sucked in.” It is called maintaining your boundaries.

Anger Management awareness has increased since the first movie “Anger Management”
and Charlie’s Sheen’s TV series “Anger Management”. Those of us who coach Anger Management appreciate this increased awareness. There is a real need for true research based Anger Management practices to help people control their emotions.

Director/Owner Richard Taylor of Atlanta Anger Management seeks to help people.

Anger Is An Emotion

DO I NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT?

Answer YES to any of these and you need help managing your anger or rage so you do not destroy your life.

ANGER IS A PROBLEM:

• When it occurs too frequently
• When it is too intense
• When it lasts too long for days
• When it leads to health issues – heart disease, GI issues, stress attacks and anxiety
• When it destroys relationships: personal life, at work and expressed in public
• When it results in person-directed aggression: verbal abuse or physical abuse

  • Blow up with little provocation
  • Yell when you are angry
  • Curse when you are angry
  • Damage property
  • Hurt yourself when angry
  • Hit or slap others when angry
  • Humiliate others
  • Poor loser
  • Always have to be right
  • Your siblings are angry people
  • Family relationships are no longer pursued
  • I like being alone
  • I dream of being alone
  • I use work so you do not have to deal with your partner
  • I never rest, I feel I have to be busy all the time
  • I am a perfectionist
  • Low Frustration Tolerance
  • Extremely fast to express yourself without any thought of outcome
  • I find little pleasure in simple things anymore
  • I drink to mask my discomfort; to “feel better”
  • I smoke pot to “feel better”
  • Intimate relationships have always been very volatile
  • I prefer to isolate myself from others
  • I like long distant relationship to enjoy my freedom
  • I like long distant relationship to prevent deep intimacy ties
  • I prefer to not feel
  • I get angry while driving
  • I get angry while playing sports
  • I am a angry golfer
  • I have difficulty accepting criticism
  • I get defensive in conversations
  • I am inattentive while listening
  • I am impatient while listening
  • I prefer to talk rather than listen
  • I interupt every conversation
  • I redirect conversation to my talking points
  • I like to give advice to everyone
  • I like to be right
  • I like pain so hurt myself
  • I have violent dreams often
  • I have violent day dreams or fantasies often
  • I think about “pay backs” and getting even often
  • I think about shooting someone often
  • I feel trapped by my life
  • Life sucks then you die
  • I watch hours of TV to pass the time
  • I sleep all the time
  • Conversations become debates or arguments frequently
  • I end relationships often
  • I can’t keep a job
  • I move a lot
  • I do not maintain family ties
  • I admit I am angry
  • People tell me I need anger management

 

Call Richard Taylor at 678.576.1913 for help.

COUPLE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT HELP

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

25 Ways to Tell if Your Relationship is Toxic

  1) Your partner puts you down verbally, in private or in front of others.
2)
Your partner tells you he/she loves you but behavior shows otherwise.
3)
Your partner doesn’t want you to see or talk to friends or family.
4)
Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your kids.
5)
Your partner shows up often at your work unexpectedly or opens your mail.
6)
Your partner calls you often to see what you are doing.
7)
You cry often or feel depressed over your relationship.
8)
Your partner says you would have the perfect relationship if only you would change.
9)
Your partner wants you to be dependent on him.
10)
Your partner does things for you and then uses them to make you feel obligated.
11)
Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments, or words are devalued.
12)
You don’t know who you are anymore without him/her, or how you would survive.
13)
Your friends/family don’t like your partner or don’t think he is good for you.
14)
You have changed things about yourself to suit your partner, even when it is not your taste.
15)
You always go where your partner wants to, like movies, restaurants, etc.
16)
Your partner has made you feel afraid or unsafe, and you have been afraid to speak the truth at times for fear of upsetting him/her (walking on eggshells).
17)
You don’t feel you have control of your life anymore.
18)
Your self-esteem is lower since you’ve been with your partner.
19)
You think it’s up to you to make the relationship work.
20)
You keep secrets about your relationship from others who love you because they wouldn’t understand.
21)
Your partner makes you feel unattractive or stupid.
22)
Your partner accuses you of cheating and is overly jealous.
23)
Your partner can be really sweet to you one minute, and really mean the next.
24)
Your partner seems really sweet/loving to you when he/she thinks you are about to leave the relationship, or after he/she has been mean to you.
25)
You can’t remember the last time you felt happy for more than a few days straight.  

Many people are in relationships that are unhealthy.

When a person is in the middle of this relationship, it is often difficult to see how detrimental the relationship is to his or her self-esteem. Others may tell you that your partner is not “good for you” or that they can’t understand “why you don’t leave.”

Your partner may be a good provider, a good father, and at times, loving and kind to you. However, there are other times when you are left feeling alone, afraid, or upset and don’t understand what is going on.

Dr. Lillian Glass, author of Toxic People, describes a toxic person as “anyone who manages to drag you down, make you feel angry, worn out, deflated, belittled or confused.” It may be difficult for people to admit they are in a toxic relationship, because they are intelligent, self-sufficient individuals in other aspects of their lives. Most people in toxic relationships, however, have the sense that something is just not right.

By Kathy Reed O’Gorman

If you need help with your relationship, talk to a friend or family member, a clergyman, an anger management provider.

Call Richard Taylor at 678.576.1913 at Atlanta Anger Management to set up appointment.

If you are in danger, help is available at The National Domestic Violence Hotline, (800) 799-SAFE, where someone can put you in touch with battered women’s shelters and other resources. Remember, no one can take care of you as well as YOU can. Get the help you need.

More resources

http://www.newliving.com/issues/dec_2003/articles/toxic%20relationships.html http://www.gerzon.com/resources/getting_out.html

2010 © Associated Content, All rights reserved.

 

Takeaways

You don’t have to be physical abused to be in an unhealthy relationship.

Some relationships are toxic, so unhealthy they can seriously affect one’s self-esteem.

Toxic partners can be very loving and giving at times.

Call Richard Taylor owner and chief facilitator at 678.576.1913 for immediate help and start getting on the right track for better living.

Richard’s one of a kind sense of humor will help you lighten up.

Anger Management is not counseling. It is education based and actually enjoyable.

Attend individually, and/or as a couple.

Use Private Sessions or Anger Management Classes.

What Is Anger Management?

Call right now and make a change. Anger does not go away on it’s own as you know.


Call Richard Taylor at 678.576.1913

REMINDER: Focus on Positives, practice kindness, attitude of gratitude, acceptance,
move from a reactive impulse driven emotional style to a choice based slower neutral or nice response style. This is Anger Management/Emotional Intelligence development!

CONTACT:

Richard TaylorDirector Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 in Atlanta, Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

________________________________________________
References
¹ Less than half (46%) of U.S. kids younger than 18 years of age are living in a home with two married heterosexual parents in their first marriage. This is a marked change from 1960, when 73% of children fit this description, and 1980, when 61% did, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of recently-released American Community Survey (ACS) and Decennial Census data.
http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/12/22/less-than-half-of-u-s-kids-today-live-in-a-traditional-family/

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REWIRE YOUR BRAIN – PRACTICE NOT QUARRELING

Who do you argue with?

The Practice

Don’t quarrel.

Why?

It’s one thing to stick up for yourself and others. But it’s a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness, squabbles . . . in a word: quarrels.

Similarly, it’s one thing to disagree with someone, even to the point of arguing – but it’s a different matter to get so caught up in your position that you lose sight of the bigger picture, including your relationship with the other person. Then you’re quarreling.

You know you’re quarreling when you find yourself getting irritated, especially with that sticky feeling that you’re just not gonna quit until you’ve won.

Quarrels happen both out in the open, between people, and inside the mind, like when you make a case in your head about another person or keep revisiting an argument to make your point more forcefully. We quarrel most with family and friends – imagine that! – but also with people on TV, or politicians and groups we don’t like. We can even quarrel with conditions in life (such as an illness or tight money) or with physical objects, like a sticky drawer slammed shut in anger.

However they happen, quarrels are stressful, activating the ancient fight-or-flight machinery in your brain and body: a bit of this won’t harm you, but a regular diet of quarreling is not good for your long-term physical and mental health.

Plus it eats away like acid on a relationship. For example, I was in a serious relationship in my mid-twenties that was headed for marriage, but our regular quarrels finally so scorched the earth in our hearts that no love could grow there for each other.

This week, try not quarrel with anyone or anything.

How?

Be mindful of what quarreling feels like, in your body, emotions, and thoughts. For example, be aware of that sense of revving up, pushing against, being right, and driving your view home that is so characteristic of quarreling. Ask yourself: Does this feel good? Is this good for me?

Observe the impact of quarreling in relationships, whether you’re doing it or others are (including on the world stage). Ask yourself:Are the results good? What would my relationships be like if I did not quarrel in them?

If you sense yourself warming up to a quarrel, step back, slow down, don’t do it. Try a different approach: Say only what truly needs saying; stay calm and contained, without trying to persuade the other person; don’t take any bait. If it comes to this, let the other person, not you, look over-heated and argumentative.

Richard Taylor adds: [ “If you want to always be right you will end up single.”]

Much of the time, you’ll realize that nothing needs to be said at all:you just don’t have to resist the other person. His or her words can pass on by like a gust of air swirling some leaves along its way. You don’t have to be contentious. Your silence does not equal agreement. Nor does it mean that the other person has won the point – and even if he or she has, would that actually matter so much in a week – or year – or so?

If you do get caught up in a quarrel, as soon as you realize that’s happened, back out of it. A good first step is to get quieter. Think about what really matters in the interaction – like saying what you are going to do in the future, or finding out some key fact – and then zero in on that thing, whatever it is. Maybe acknowledge to the other person that you’ve realized you’ve gotten into a kind of argument here, but that’s not what you really want to do. If that person tries to keep up the fight, you don’t have to. It takes two to quarrel, and only one to stop it. Then when the time is right, as you can, try to repair the damage of the quarrel.

Overall, explore the sense of being at peace with the world, without a quarrel with anyone.

(The feeling of this reminds me of a saying from my wife’s childhood, which should be adapted to one’s own situation: Be a friend to all, and a sister to every Girl Scout!)

by

Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
25 Mitchell Blvd.
San Rafael, California 94903

Used With Permission

My Offerings

· Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom – Written with a neurologist, Richard Mendius, M.D., and with a Foreword by Daniel Siegel, M.D. and a Preface by Jack Kornfield, Ph.D., it’s full of effective ways to use your mind to change your brain to benefit your whole being.
· Stress-Proof Your Brain -Meditations to rewire neural pathways for stress relief and unconditional happiness.
· Meditations to Change Your Brain – Three CDs of powerful guided practices, plus practical suggestions, for personal transformation.
·  Meditations for Happiness – Downloadable program (3 CDs worth) on gratitude, inner protectors, and coming home to happiness.

Question? Are we going to remember this argument in a year from now? 

Related Richard’s Selected Best In Class Books – DVDs – Meditations

Couples Conflict Management

Couples Communication Help

What Is Anger Management?

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management

5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: http://www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

A Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence