Top 7 Tips How To Be Happy

Top 7 Tips How To Be Happy

Why are happy people happy?

Finding happiness… How?

Finding Happiness went in search for the answer to the question:

“Why are happy people happy?”

Here are our Seven Top Happiness Tips for how to find true and lasting happiness in daily life:

TIP: You may need to print this out and hang on your mirror.

1.) Let go of negativity.

Learn to forgive and forget.

See every challenge as an opportunity for further growth.

Express gratitude for what you have.

Be more optimistic about the future and your ability to accomplish life goals.

Open yourself up to success and embrace failures or mistakes that happen along the way.

Know that none of us are perfect, we are all here to entertain and be entertained.

Don’t worry about the little things.

Take plenty of “worry vacations” where you train your mind not to worry for a certain lengths of time.

If you want to be more positive, surround yourself with positive energy and people.

Nurture the positive relationships that you have, seeking out more of those relationships that help uplift you.

Accept and love yourself for the unique gifts and talents that you bring to life.

Spend less time trying to please others and spend more time trying to please your higher self.

See the humor in life and in our experiences. Take life less seriously and learn to laugh at yourself.

2.) Serve and be kind to others.

Treat everyone with kindness.

Not only does it help others to feel better, but you will notice that you too feel good after having a positive interaction with others.

Speak well of others. When you speak positively of others, you will attract more positivity.

Truly listen to others. Be present and mindful to what others are really saying when they speak. Support them without bringing yourself into it.

Be careful with your words. Speak gentler, kinder, and wiser.

Respect others and their free will.

Put your trust in others and be trusted in return.

Enjoy the sense of community and friendship that comes from this openness and faith in one another.

Work as part of a whole. See others as partners in your efforts. Unite your efforts with them to create a synergy more powerful than anything you could do alone.

Practice generosity and giving without expecting anything in return. Get involved with service opportunities and offer what you can to a greater cause.

Smile more– to family, to co-workers, to neighbors, to strangers– and watch it not only change how you feel but also how they feel too.

3.) Live in the present.

Don’t replay negative events or worry about the future.

Accept and celebrate impermanence.

Be grateful for your life, for each moment of every day. Observe the constant and natural flow of change that surrounds us, and your small yet important part in the natural, divine flow of life.

Observe yourself in the moment. Work on your reactions to outer circumstances and learn how to approach life harmoniously.

4.) Choose a healthy lifestyle.

Keep a daily routine. Wake up at the same time every morning, preferably early. Setting yourself to a natural biorhythm will make it easier to wake up and feel energized.

Get enough sleep. Proper sleep is linked to positive personality characteristics like optimism, improved self-esteem, and even problem solving.

Expose yourself to cold temperatures (especially first thing in the morning with perhaps a cold shower). It increases your circulation, helps minimize inflammation in the body, enhances weight loss, and energizes and invigorates you to start your day.

Turn off the TV. For every hour of TV you watch, you reduce 22 minutes of your life expectancy.

Eat properly. What you eat has a direct effect on your mood and energy levels. Eat plenty of organic, locally grown fruits and vegetables, nuts, whole grains, and dairy products that are both vitamin and mineral infused. Don’t overeat and try to practice healthy self-control.

Exercise daily to the point of sweating. It not only helps to purify the body, but also releases endorphins which help to prevent stress, relieve depression, and positively improve your mood.

Laugh more. Laughter is the best medicine. Like exercise, it releases endorphins that battle the negative effects of stress and promote a sense of well-being and joy.

Practice deep breathing and yoga. The body and mind are connected. Emotions affect the physical systems in the body, and the state of the body also affects the mind. By relaxing and releasing tension through the breath or yoga practice you feel more calm and centered throughout the day.

5.) Take care of your spirit.

Strive to always learn new things. Constantly expand your awareness and discover new ways of expressing your divine gifts.

Get creative. This will not only challenge you to learn new things, but will also help to keep your mind in a positive place. Practice living in the present moment and being a channel for the divine flow of creativity.

Practice meditation. Research has proven that even as little as 10 minutes of meditation a day can lead to physical changes in the brain that improve concentration and focus, calm the nervous system, and help you to become more kind and compassionate, and even more humorous. Then bring the joy and peace you receive from meditation into your daily life and activity.

Be honest. Telling the truth keeps you free inside, builds trust in relationships, and improves your will power and the ability to attract success.

Surrender to the Universe Divine and allow it to take care of the littlest things in life to the greatest and most important.

6. ) Be inwardly free.

Live minimally and simply. Often extravagant living brings more stress not more satisfaction.

De-clutter your home to de-clutter your mind. Clutter is an often unrecognized source of stress that promotes feelings of anxiety, frustration, distraction, and guilt. Feel good in your own home. Make it your sanctuary by keeping it clean, organized, and uplifting.

Go without certain things you think you need. Travel to new places where not everything is as easily accessible or readily available, and learn to appreciate what you have by expanding your world.

Take some time away from life’s complicated outer involvements to get to know your family, your neighbors, and your loved ones better; and to get to know yourself.

7.) Reconnect with Nature.

Take some time every week to recharge your body battery. On the weekend, escape to nature or a place where you can feel peace in time for a fresh start to the work week.

Get outside whenever possible to breathe in the fresh air and feel the sunshine. Both of which studies have shown to have a positive effect on our health and our mood.

Take some time to be silent. Be silent and calm every night for at least 10 minutes (longer if possible) and again in the morning before rising. This will produce an unbreakable habit of inner happiness to help you meet challenges in life.

Observe the natural beauty that surrounds you and feel a sense of connection. Appreciate the details and miracles that can be found in nature.

Taking the Next Steps to Finding Happiness:

Ask yourself what makes you happy, and find ways to restructure your life so that you are able to do more of those things.

Then ask why you struggle to do the things that you know will make you happy.

Why are you not yet happy?

Why haven’t you taken the next steps to find your happiness?

Why are you here?

And what do you need to do to feel a sense of accomplishment in this life?

Visualize yourself happy, doing the things that will bring you inner and outer success in life and write down the things you need to do to create a Happiness Bucket List.

Start with the little things you know you can do each day that will bring you joy. Then move on to accomplish greater and greater things on your happiness bucket list.

Sign up to receive our free daily happiness quotes, and download our happiness tips mini-poster gift to you, or view a list of our favorite happiness quotes.

Share Happiness with your friends:  Movie: http://findinghappinessmovie.com/

Source: http://findinghappinessmovie.com/happiness-tips/

 

Less Anger More Happiness.
Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

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Have The Burdens/Troubles of Life Got You Down? Got Joy? Got Happy?

Do You Have Joy In Your Life?

This question came up in last Saturday’s Anger Management all day class
with one participate answering no. Sadly life had beat him down.

The question became:
” How do I start to get
joyful living back?

Start with Positives. Look for positives in each moment and stay ever present (Mindfulness) changing your negative self talk (scripts).

How? By increasing your Focus Of Intention. Become more self aware of what you are thinking. This is called The Self Observing The Self. When I become aware I am thinking or saying something negative (not nice)…STOP! Reach for the “clicker” called awareness and change the Focus of your thought/talk to something constructive or pleasurable.

Often when we are in an unhappy place in our lives we are ‘stuck” Just frozen in the feeling. We cease to find living an experience of joyfulness. The wonder of children perspective on discovery, learning, just being.

We Need To Get Unstuck.
We Need T0 Change It Up!

-Richard Taylor

All of us at times need to make a decision to change up our life. often this might mean to take a risk. Perhaps move, decide to seek out joy. Google the concepts and become a learner, grow, choose to live again.

Become Positive By Being Positive.
-Richard Taylor

It is hard to drag yourself out of the quicksand of your life! You can do it!

Become creative. Watch positive movies, TV, read positive magazines, Internet articles and blogs and Books! Saturate yourself with new scripts of joy, happiness and positivity!

 


HECTOR AND THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS

 

I just join the I AM HAPPY PROJECT and found this below!

Get Motivated to Get Things Done

Have you ever looked your To-DO List to see that you have much more on your plate than you realized?

Sometimes added responsibilities in your life equal increased opportunities to procrastinate so, its important to remind yourself how to stay motivated and get things done.

Motivation is defined as “the desire to achieve a goal, combined with the energy to work towards it”. If you Google the topic of “Motivation” you will find that most tips on motivation have to do with big goals like losing weight or finding a job. But, sometimes we need motivational strategies for accomplishing the little things in life like doing the laundry or paying your bills.

Below are some motivational strategies that I think will help you get the little things, as well as the big things in your life done.

  • Talk to yourself. We have 50,000 to 70,000 thought a day. Unfortunately, it’s usually to give ourselves negative messages. The next time you are feeling stuck, try talking yourself through the process and giving yourself positive feedback. Talking yourself through the process will help to keep you focused on exactly what you are doing and what comes next and giving yourself positive feedback will motivate you to continue.
  • Connect with the “desire”. Why is it important to get this done? Even if you have a goal that is seemingly undesirable, like doing laundry or paying bills, it’s a lot more motivating to focus on the outcome instead of the act. The goal of paying your bills on time may be to establish and maintain a good credit score. Doing your laundry and having clean clothes will help you look and feel better about yourself, thus getting you that new position at work or meeting mister or miss “right”.
  • Remember you have a choice. Don’t let the need to rebel stop you. It’s important to remember that you do have a choice. Often we are not motivated to do things we think we “have” to do. True, there are things we “should” do in order to avoid unpleasant consequences, but the choice is still ours. So, instead of saying, “I have to finish that report tonight” why not motivate yourself by saying, “I choose to finish the report tonight because I value a sense of completion”.
  • Develop a sense of curiosity. Get curious about something. Formulate a question about what you are doing and work to find answers. Let a sense of wonder motivate you – “I wonder what would happen if I was early for work every day, how much work I could get done?” Challenge yourself to find an answer.
  • Make your goal hard to ignore. Set up reminders so that they are constantly in front of you. For example, if your goal is to do one load of laundry every day, make sure you put the basket of dirty laundry in the middle of the doorway so that you bump into it every time you walk out of the room. Posting visual cues and setting alarms are essential to staying focused and motivated.
  • Use a body double. A body double is simply someone who sits in the same room with you as you work. Sometimes you just need the presence of another person to motivate you to work on an undesirable task. Consider having a friend come over to keep you company while you pay your bills or sort through clutter.
  • Break it down. I have been procrastinating on cleaning out my computer files for months so I decided to break the task into doable pieces. Every day I delete or file at least 10 documents. The strange thing is – by giving myself permission to only do 10, sometimes I feel motivated to do more!
  • Reward yourself. Make it worth your while to complete a task. When you have something to look forward to after the job is done, it will make it a lot more doable. After I finish writing this – I’m going out to rent a movie!
  • Visualize. Before you start working on your goal, try closing your eyes and visualizing yourself doing and completing each step. For example, “I have already visualized how relieved and satisfied I will be when I get this task done”.
  • Change environments. Sometimes what it takes to get motivated and inspired is to change your environment. If you are inside – take your work outdoors or move to another room. Going to the library or a coffee shop can really make a difference. I’ve been known to go and work in my car in order to finish a project. Sometimes moving to another state might be needed, or a travel trip!
  • Make it fun! Find ways to make your fun. Play music you enjoy or watch a funny show while you work. Do unpleasant tasks with friends who can keep you company and cheer you on. Dancing and singing while you do housework should also make for a fun time or at the very least- a good laugh!

To have fun, be fun!
-Richard Taylor

One last thing….Reminder:

Amy Cuddy:
Fake It Until You Become It.

Find Your Joy Coaching:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Silent Treatment is Emotional Abuse By Immature Partner

What Married Couples Should Know About the Silent Treatment.

It is Abusive.

By Sheri Stritof Marriage Expert

The silent treatment doesn’t work. And it is mean spirited.

This form of emotional and verbal abuse as a manipulation tactic is also ineffective and hurts your marriage.

As well as leaving important issues in your marriage unresolved, the silent treatment may make your spouse feel worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.
When you sulk or pout and refuse to talk about a problem, accept an apology, or help make a decision, not only are you shutting your spouse out, you are being cruel.
Like saying “I don’t care” or “whatever” or rolling your eyes or smirking, using the silent treatment is a cop out.

  • How to Respond to the Silent Treatment
    • If your spouse denies giving you the silent treatment by saying it’s just a cooling off period or a desire for some space or time alone, point out in a respectful tone of voice that you are not a mind reader and that a need for space should be expressed prior to the period of silence and that there should be a time limit to wanting time to cool off or get your act together.
  • Silent Treatment is NOT Stonewalling.
  • Some experts recommend not acknowledging the silence or cold shoulder mode and suggest you leave your spouse alone to sulk.• Don’t respond with threats.
  • Recognize the tactic of not talking to you is a control tactic or a way of avoiding having to admit making a mistake.
  • Quit inventing ways to get your mate to speak to you.
  • Walk away.Leave them to their self inflicted misery.
  • Do something fun or interesting that you want to do.
  • But if your spouse talks to you, respond with a soft courteous voice.

What Others Have to Say About The Silent Treatment

Kipling D. Williams: “A survey of over 2,000 Americans conducted by Faulkner et al. (1997) found that 67% admitted to using the silent treatment, deliberately not speaking to a person in their presence, or a loved one. The percentage was slightly higher (75%) for those who indicated that they had been a target of the silent treatment by a loved one … They found that the silent treatment was just as likely to be used by males as females, and that it was used more often to terminate a partner’s behaviors than to elicit them.”
Source:Kipling D. Williams PhD. Ostracism: The Power of Silence. 2002. pgs. 9-10.

Gregory L. Jantz, Ann McMurray: “The silence, the loss of verbal relationship, is meant to exact an emotional toll on the other person, who often will go to great lengths to attempt to restore communication with the abuser. This level of control is precisely what the abuser is looking for, as well as a way to vent his or her anger at the other person. By not verbally expressing that anger, by ‘avoiding’ showing anger, the abuser is allowed to feel as if the victim is the only person at fault for whatever wrong is perceived by the abuser. If the victim responds to the silent treatment with anger, the abuser is doubly vindicated.”
Source: Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, Ann McMurray. Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse. 2009. pg. 78.

Walter B. Roberts: “Silent Treatments are used to control the situation by their lack of responses. When they do nothing, others have to do all the work. The power of the Silent Treatments rests in their abilities to always be right … They maintain a position of superiority by not owning a part of a plan — if we let them get away with it …

The Trick

The trick is always to keep the Silent Treatments engaged and maybe even provide a little positive provocation to get them to respond, as a method of increasing their participation.”
Source: Walter B. Roberts Jr. Working With Parents of Bullies and Victims. 2008. pg. 75.

Sharon Anthony Bower, Gordon H. Bower: “The best way to counter the silent treatment is to assert your rights and ask for a speaking partner.”
Source: Sharon Anthony Bower, Gordon H. Bower. Asserting Your-Self: A Practical Guide for Positive Change. 1991. pg. 121.

Source: http://marriage.about.com/od/nonverbal/a/What-Married-Couples-Should-Know-About-The-Silent-Treatment.htm

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The Silent Treatment: How And Why It SCREAMS Abuse

By Cathy Meyer Divorce Support Expert

What is going on when your spouse gives you the silent treatment?

They are displaying anger and aggression and in immature way of handling marital problems and communication.

Shutting down and refusing to communicate with a spouse is an abusive way of saying, “This is all your fault, and you deal with it because I’m not going to.”

Signs

How do you know if your spouse is giving you the silent treatment?
• They refuse to speak to you.
• They leave the room when you enter.
• They talk to others around you but, not you.
• They refuse to share meals with you.
• They turn their back to you in bed.
• They don’t respond to questions when asked.
• They use the children as messengers instead of coming to you directly.

This behavior may go on for days or even weeks.

  • You live in an atmosphere that is tense and uncomfortable.
  • You second guess yourself and your words and are constantly trying to figure out a way to end the silence and get the marriage back on track.
  • You are being punished and thanks to your spouse’s silent treatment you are left to wonder what you did to earn such punishment.

Your spouse’s silent treatment is about manipulating you into getting what they want. It’s about controlling you without saying a word.
What impact does your spouse’s silent treatment have on you?

You will internalize their silence and make it about something you’ve done wrong.
Internalizing marital problems and taking responsibility for those problems with a spouse who refuses to communicate can lead to health problems, depression and anxiety.
You are constantly on guard out of fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and causing them to go silent.
The silent treatment sends the message that you and your needs are not important to the person who vowed to love and honor you. You feel dismissed!

Why is the silent treatment so damaging to the marriage and you?

  • No marriage can survive emotional assault.
  • Silent Treatment produces break up/divorce.
  • The silent abuser cannot bear real mature intimacy. It scares the hell out of them.
  • Not only is your spouse’s silent treatment abusive to you, it is abusive to the marriage.

All marriages have problems, problems don’t get solved if one party refuses to acknowledge and address those problems.

Marriage is a partnership between two mature adults.

If your spouse constantly goes silent you are living with a child who wants to be catered to and, is ill equipped to handle problems that come along with adult partnerships.

Giving someone the silent treatment is manipulation and punishment of a spouse.

The spouse who is being abused by this technique will eventually withdraw emotionally and one day give up on the marriage.

The abuser is secretly relieved. It was ‘their’ fault. They believe “I am perfect. I have no work to do on myself. Yes, it was them.” Then Repeat, next relationship same thing and over and over. One day maybe the individual wakes up. Mostly like they die alone. No one likes a person who is perfect. It is not human. Denial in abusers is the answer. They never become an adult. They defer responsibility on others. Blame is their delusional game.

Can you really stay married to such an emotional abuser when there are healthy partners wanting someone like you. An individual capable of a mature relationship with communication skills, conflict management skills and simply a loving empathetic feeling person?

Final thoughts:

Not everyone is equipped with the relationship skills needed to succeed at marriage.

The silent treatment is a distorted coping skill used by those who don’t know how to engage in an adult manner is conflict and problem solving.

They always have a reason or excuse for their behavior. My ex used to tell me that he, “Needed to cool down before talking” about a problem. The problem is, once he had “cooled down” he still refused to communicate.

Your abuser may use you as an excuse.

You may simply want to discuss an issue that they are uncomfortable with but you will be labeled as overreacting or becoming hysterical.

It isn’t about you though, it is about them and their stunted developmental patterns when it comes to lack of intimate communication.

Options

You have options, Couples can change behaviors and learn more productive relationship skills.

The Silent Treatment abuser will have to admit this is not productive and helps KILL the emotions in their partner and day by day driving them away.

Death of the relationship comes like a thief in the night.

One day the partner moves to apathy as displayed by their Silent Treatment partner.

The heart is dead. The relationship over.

Acceptance by anyone is the motivation to move on. …Never received it during the Silent Treatment abuse.

Over.

The abuser gets what they want:

No relationship involving intimacy, relationship growth.

Alone is better than that.

Accepting responsibility almost always comes too late.

All sad but true.

Want to Save Your Relationship/Marriage?

Try couple marital counseling or find a relationship coach to help the two of you begin to work together in a way that is healthy.

If, after some time you see no change in their behavior you need to decide whether or not to live with it, or divorce.

You do deserve intimacy in a marriage.

Source: http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/domesticabuse/fl/The-Silent-Treatment-How-And-Why-It-SCREAMS-Abuse.htm

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The silent but deadly treatment – sabotaging your own marriage

December 29, 2010 10:27 PM MST

There are many words and actions in heated moments within an argument that can be considered hurtful and destructive to one’s marriage relationship. Some scratch the surface of poking at the threshold of provocation; and others dig deep irreversible wounds to the soul, never to be recovered from.

But there is a trend among married couples that seems to continue to permeate grown, mature adult marriage relationships, no matter what religious preference, race or nationality, or upbringing.

It’s the act of giving what’s been coined, “The Silent Treatment,” or simply put, purposefully ignoring your spouse and withholding all forms of interactivity and conversation.

Almost all do not realize that they are in fact sabotaging their own relationship by this hurtful tactic and could even possibly dissolve the foundation to which the relationship was based on in the first place.

Many dub giving the “Silent Treatment” as a form of pure “abuse”. Also subscribed as “the worst emotional abuse known”. To that we have no reason to disagree.

Giving your spouse the silent treatment is understood as a form of punishment to the other person.

  • The clear intent is a purposeful endeavor to make the other:
  • • feel unimportant,
  • • devalued,
  • • belittled,
  • • isolated to their own self without the human contact,
  • • All in retribution and revenge because of one or more things that were said or done.

The immediate problem is… what if the hurt was not on purpose, but accidental?
To quote Abuse101.com,

“Silent treatment is a form of banishing someone from the abuser’s existence without the benefit of closure or a good bye or a chance at reconciliation.
In a word..it’s meant to torture someone you profess to love.”
(http://abuse101.com/silenttreatmentandabuse.html)

Giving someone this “Silent Treatment” is such a negative form of abuse and retribution, that even Merriam-Webster has a real definition for this coined term.

The definition states, “An act of completely ignoring a person or thing by resort to silence especially as a means of expressing contempt or disapproval.(http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/silent%20treatment)

The low-down.

Despite the fact that giving someone the “Silent Treatment” is a clear show of immaturity and spite, we would also like to bring to light a few thoughts on how this will simply affect your marriage.

Firstly, it is completely counter-productive!

The whole point in your actions when dealing with being hurt by your partner is to communicate to them how they might have hurt you so that they can realize the impact their words or actions had on you. But instead of communicating, you have destroyed that opportunity for the both of you to restore the closeness, love and overall feelings of love and friendship.

Instead of making your partner feel bad and wanting to crawl to you, you have put them in a position of now having to survive devastating hurt coming from you.
The Silent Treatment is in all levels counterproductive to the point that it can literally become a factor of separation or divorce and disillusionment of a marriage.

Secondly, it shows your partner that you cannot handle real, life problems.

It brings to mind the children in the playground that stick out their bottom lip, and stick their fingers in their ears while they loudly and obnoxiously sing, “la-la-la, I can’t hear you!”

Truth be told, giving the Silent Treatment is not an effective way to deal with real issues. Yet there are untold adults that do just that.

There are many more effective ways to deal and communicate with your partner than to give the Silent Treatment.

Just know, that when you do this, it not only deeply wounds the one you love, but also yourself and your own marriage.

It tears at the very fabric of what holds your marriage together, and gives way the opportunity for bitterness and wrath to utterly destroy your marriage.
So, when the urge comes to give the Silent Treatment, resist it.

Just make sure you do whatever it takes to move past this type of behavior.

Seek counseling for yourself.

Your self-righteousness will destroy your marriage that YOU caused.

You are the Silent Treatment Abuser.

Wake Up to Emotional Intelligence before your high IQ destroys you.

You will be right and single.

When it comes to marriage, silence is certainly not golden, communication is paramount.

Silent but deadly…not farts…You!

Choose the relationship by learning Conflict Management skills and learn to Communicate.

Silence does not work in a mature relationship called marriage.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/article/the-silent-but-deadly-treatment-sabotaging-your-own-marriage

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder Definition
By Mayo Clinic Staff

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs.

You may be generally unhappy and disappointed when you’re not given the special favors or admiration you believe you deserve. Others may not enjoy being around you, and you may find your relationships unfulfilling.

Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around talk therapy (psychotherapy).

If you have narcissistic personality disorder:

  • you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious.
  • You often monopolize conversations.
  • You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior.
  • You may feel a sense of entitlement
  • When you don’t receive special treatment, you may become impatient or angry.
  • You may insist on having “the best” of everything — for instance, the best car, athletic club or medical care.
  • At the same time, you have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism.
  • You may have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation.
  • To feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make yourself appear superior.
  • Or you may feel depressed and moody because you fall short of perfection.

 

Causes

It’s not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. As with other mental disorders, the cause is likely complex.

  • Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:
    • Mismatches in parent-child relationships with either excessive pampering or excessive criticism
    • Genetics or psychobiology — the connection between the brain and behavior and thinking
    • Parenting styles that overemphasize the child’s specialness and criticize fears and failures may be partially responsible.
    • The child may hide low self-esteem by developing a superficial sense of perfection and behavior that shows a need for constant admiration.

 

Treatments and drugs – Psychotherapy

Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy.

 

Psychotherapy can help you:

• Learn to relate better with others so your relationships are more intimate, enjoyable and rewarding

• Understand the causes of your emotions and what drives you to compete, to distrust others, and perhaps to despise yourself and others

Because personality traits can be difficult to change, therapy may take several years.

Areas of change are directed at helping you accept responsibility and learning to:
• Accept and maintain real personal relationships and collaboration with co-workers
• Recognize and accept your actual competence and potential so you can tolerate criticisms or failures
• Increase your ability to understand and regulate your feelings
• Understand and tolerate the impact of issues related to your self-esteem
• Release your desire for unattainable goals and ideal conditions and gain an acceptance of what’s attainable and what you can accomplish

Medications

There are no medications specifically used to treat narcissistic personality disorder. However, if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other conditions, medications such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs may be helpful.

Source: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568

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Silent treatment speaks volumes about a relationship

Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY 6:03 a.m. EDT August 3, 2014

If you’re suffering in silence — or because of it — your relationship may be more endangered than you realize, according to new research that shows those whose interactions include the “silent treatment” can spell ruin for the future.

Although researchers say the cold shoulder is the most common way people deal with marital conflict, an analysis of 74 studies, based on more than 14,000 participants, shows that when one partner withdraws in silence or shuts down emotionally because of perceived demands by the other, the harm is both emotional and physical.

“The more this pattern emerges within your relationship, the greater the chances one or both partners experience heightened levels of anxiety or may use more aggressive forms of behavior,” says Paul Schrodt, a professor of communication studies at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, who led the study published this spring in the journal Communication Monographs.

“Each partner sees the other person’s behavior as the start of a fight,” he says. “If you go to him and ask why he’s so withdrawn from his wife, it’s because ‘she’s constantly nagging me and constantly asking a million questions.’

If you ask her why she’s making demands of him, it’s because ‘he doesn’t tell me anything. I don’t get the sense he cares about our relationship.’ Each partner fails to see how their own behavior is contributing to the pattern.”

In much of the research, Schrodt says, the man tends to be more silent; but psychologist Les Parrott of Seattle says he has seen less of a breakdown along gender lines.

“I see plenty of men get demanding,” he says.

It’s that pattern, Schrodt says, that is so damaging, because it signals a serious sign of distress in the relationship. The research, which spanned from 1987 to 2011, wasn’t specifically about the silent treatment; however, the silent treatment is part of a broader pattern that extends not just to romantic relationships but to parenting styles as well, which also were part of the research, he says.

Parrott, co-author of The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring you Closer, a book published in April, says the silent treatment is a very difficult pattern to break because it’s such an ingrained behavior.

“We learn this strategy very early on — just as little kids — to shut somebody out as a way to punish,” Parrott says. “Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment.”
Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it’s “manipulative, disrespectful and not productive.”

Schrodt’s analysis found that couples who use such conflict behaviors experience lower relationship satisfaction, less intimacy and poorer communication, which is also associated with divorce.

And, he says, some of the studies found the effects were not just emotional but physiological, such as urinary, bowel or erectile dysfunction.

“Partners get locked in this pattern, largely because they each see the other as the cause,” Schrodt says. “Both partners see the other as the problem.”

Parrott and Schrodt agree being aware of the destructive pattern can help resolve it.

“Conflict is inevitable, but how you manage it can make the difference,” Parrott says.

How to break the pattern of the silent treatment

— Become aware of what’s really going on. The person making demands feels abandoned; the silent person is protecting himself. Each needs to ask: “Why am I behaving this way? How does my behavior make my partner feel?”
— Avoid character assassination. It will do more damage to label your spouse as “selfish” or “rude.”
— Use the word “I,” because the more you use “you,” the longer your squabble will last.

 

You can say something like, “This is how I feel when you stop talking to me.”
— Mutually agree to take a timeout.

 

When the cycle emerges, both partners need to cool their heads and warm their hearts before engaging.

And some people just need a bit of time to think before they speak. This in NOT Days.
— Genuinely apologize as soon as you are able.

Source: Les Parrott, psychologist at Seattle Pacific University; co-author of the 2014 book The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Bring you Closer
Source: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/08/03/relationships-conflict-research/12987065/

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By: Mort Fertel, author and Founder of the Marriage Fitness System for Relationship Renewal.

In marriage, you can be right or you can be happy.

Let me explain, and let me start by sharing an email I received from a women struggling in her marriage. She wrote:

Dear Mort,

We are in week 2 of the silent treatment! It all started over something so little and ridiculous! We are both adults, old enough to know better than this! He is a judge, I am a social worker ! He won’t budge! I need help!

Jodie

Oh, the dreaded silent treatment. The big stand-off. You know it, right? Horrible, isn’t it? And it doesn’t just eat away at your marriage; it eats away at your stomach. The stress on your body and the tension in your house…it’s the WORST.

At the time, you’re committed to avoiding him/her for the rest of your life. You’ve never prayed so hard wishing that he/she won’t come into the room or that he/she would just go to bed already.

Sometimes you feel like you could explode, right? There’s so much bottled-up inside you.

And yet you let it continue. WHY?

You refuse to be the one to apologize first. You’re NOT going to break the ice this time. Why not?        Answer: Ego.

Most silent treatments start like Jodie’s started…with something “little and ridiculous.” Most couples can’t remember what the impetus was. And if they could, they’d be too embarrassed to admit that something so small blew-up into something so big.

So what are these silent treatments or stand-offs REALLY about? And how can you avoid them or end them soon after they begin?

It’s interesting that Jodie made a point to share with me that she and her husband “know better.” In other words, they’re intelligent, educated, and accomplished people. Jodie’s husband is even a judge, an expert in distinguishing between right and wrong. They know that treating each other this way doesn’t make sense. They know IT is wrong. But they also know that THEY are right.

And that’s exactly the problem.

Silent treatments ensue when both people feel they’re RIGHT. And the more intense each spouse’s conviction to their perspective, the longer the silence lasts.

And, ironically, the more intelligent and the articulate the couple, the MORE LIKELY they are to endure silence between them. Because intelligent and articulate people have confidence in their position and justification for holding their ground.

Although Jodie is surprised that her and her husband, intelligent people, could be so petty; the fact is that one reason they’re holding their silence for so long is BECAUSE they’re intelligent.

In other words, intellectual capacity and marital satisfaction can be INVERSELY related.

Let me say it another way: When it comes to your marriage, you can be right or you can be happy. But sometimes you can’t be both.

In a courtroom, a hospital, or an office , right and wrong determine success or failure. The decision to prescribe the right medicine, for example, could be the difference between life and death. The relationship between the doctor and the patient is secondary.

Being RIGHT is what matters and what is rewarded.

In marriage, being right has no value. All that matters is the relationship.

Sometimes you have to choose. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happily married?

Remember, being right in your marriage will get you NOTHING.

Just because you’re right/wrong paradigm works at the office doesn’t mean that you should bring it home. “He who is a hammer thinks everything is a nail.”

Some things work perfectly in one area of life and fail terribly in another.

In marriage, you have to be like a carpenter and know which tool to use.

The right/wrong mode is the WRONG tool to use in your marriage.

The more you insist on being RIGHT, the more you will be miserable in your marriage. Don’t go for RIGHT; go for LOVE.

Jodie expects that because she and her husband are “intelligent,” they shouldn’t find themselves in these petty stalemates. But just because Jodie and her husband have a high

IQ, doesn’t mean they have a high EQ.

IQ is a measure of your INTELLECTUAL intelligence. The higher your IQ, the better your ability to process information and determine what’s “right.”

EQ is a measure of your EMOTIONAL intelligence. The higher your EQ, the better your ability to connect with people and succeed in relationships.

Just as some athletes are strong but not fast, so too many people have a high IQ but a low EQ.

Bottom line: Intelligence, in the way Jodie means it, has little bearing on her and her husband’s ability to succeed in their marriage. In fact, a high IQ coupled with a low EQ can be a disastrous combination for a marriage.

The good news, however, is that EQ can be developed.

Here’s one way to begin to develop your EQ and improve the quality of your relationship.

The first step is to redefine what it means to be RIGHT.

Most people think of right and wrong as black and white. And our experience at work usually reinforces this understanding. After all, there can only be one verdict, one prescription, and one marketing plan. In other words, if I’m right then unless you agree with me you are wrong.

But there is a TRUTH which transcends right and wrong.

What do you see?

The picture you’re looking at is a picture of BOTH a profile of two people and a wine glass. But YOU can only see one at a time. It’s optically impossible for you to see both images at the same time. HOWEVER, they are BOTH there.

face

What do you see?

One person sees a profile. Your partner sees a frontal view. Whose right?

Right and wrong is an emotionally immature way to view most things in the context of marriage.

 

TRUTH has more than one perspective.

 

Your ability to see the truth from your spouse’s perspective is crucial for the success of your relationship. Can you “Human-Up” and see your partner’s point of view. Nope, did not think so. You are an idiot.

How did that feel? Make you mad? Are you triggered so easily. I rest my case.

And I don’t mean that you should see things from your spouse’s perspective as a manipulative strategy for finding compromise or out of pity toward your spouse.

You need to see your spouse’s perspective so YOU can come to a more complete understanding of TRUTH. If you’re only a profile, then you’re not seeing the whole picture. Your spouse is your ticket to you having a greater understanding.

Silent treatments are usually the result of spouses having too narrow a view of the truth. Just because you’re right doesn’t mean your spouse is not right ALSO.

Next time you’re at a stand-off with your spouse, ask them to explain their perspective.

And you don’t have to get defensive.

Do not stonewall.

Do no do The Silent Treatment. Grow up.

You don’t have to compromise your position in order to acknowledge theirs.

The chances are good that you are BOTH right. Two smart ass people.

And when you appreciate their perspective, you’ll be a better person and the silence will end.

When it comes to your marriage, it’s better to be happy than right. That’s the TRUTH as I see it. But, hey, I’m open to your perspective.

CONTACT:

Couple Conflict Management Sessions:

Stress Management:

EQ Development

Emotional Intelligence EQ-i 2.0 Assessment to measure your current EQ strengths and weaknesses.

Anger Management

Assertion Training

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

What Does Watching TV vs. Reading a Good Book Do to Your Brain?

What Does Watching TV vs. Reading a Good Book Do to Your Brain?

Katie Medlock
September 7, 2015
5:30 pm

BooksVsTv-cartoon
lolsnap.com

If you had to calculate how much time per day you spend watching TV vs. reading a book, what would your totals be? No fudging the numbers! If you’re like most of America, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ 2014 report, people over 15 watch an average of 2.5 hours of TV per day during the workweek, while only reading for leisure about a half hour.

While surfing the web and otherwise being glued to smartphones also takes up a considerable amount of leisure time, there are more and more ways to get one’s fill of their favorite shows nowadays. Yet, it’s estimated that 42 percent of college graduates will never read another book after they finish their degrees. That’s a long life of missing out on (literal) page-turners.

Are there scientific reasons as to why putting down the remote and picking up a book may be better for your health? A Japanese study earlier this year found that TV watching actually can alter the composition of your brain. Studying 276 children and teens led to the discovery that higher amounts of time in front of the tube increased frontal lobe grey matter, yet lowered verbal IQ.

Another study, however, discovered lasting positive results from reading a novel. They performed MRIs to college students before, during and after reading a novel and found increased connectivity in the parts of the brain responsible for language receptivity—so much so that the heightened connectivity was retained days later, much like “muscle memory.”

Dr. Gregory Berns, of the Emory University study, stated, “At a minimum, we can say that reading stories—especially those with strong narrative arcs—reconfigures brain networks for at least a few days. It shows how stories can stay with us. This may have profound implications for children and the role of reading in shaping their brains.” Pretty profound, indeed.

What else can reading do for the mind? A study at the University of Sussex found that participants who were stressed needed only six minutes of reading for their heart rates and muscle tension to subside. Six minutes!

  • Overall, reading reduced stress levels by 68 percent,
  • closely followed by listening to music (61 percent),
  • drinking coffee (54 percent)
  • and taking a walk (42 percent).
  • Dr. David Lewis describes the effect, “It really doesn’t matter what book you read, by losing yourself in a thoroughly engrossing book you can escape from the worries and stresses of the everyday world and spend a while exploring the domain of the author’s imagination.”
A Force For Good

A Force For Good

With most 15-19 year-olds only reading 9 minutes per day (compared to 2.6 hours of TV) and 75 and older folks reading an hour per day (yet, 4.4 daily hours of TV), perhaps tipping the scale toward paperbacks could make a big dent in our overall stress levels.

Sure, unplugging from the day in front of the tube can feel like it’s just what we need, but what if we really unplugged and, instead, picked up a good book? With websites such as Good Reads and What Should I Read Next? on our sides, this can become a (non-virtual) reality.

Related
5 Top Spirituality Books for Scientific-Minded People
10 Bizarre Ways to Reduce Stress

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/what-does-watching-tv-vs-reading-a-good-book-do-to-your-brain.html#ixzz3lAQ398kF

 

Yeni Kitap ‏@YeniKitap 8 May 2013 Kitap okuyan ve okumayan iki insan arasındaki fark.. #benihayatabağlar

Yeni Kitap ‏@YeniKitap 8 May 2013
Kitap okuyan ve okumayan iki insan arasındaki fark.. #benihayatabağlar

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ADDED: TAI LOPEZ BOOK CLUB !

Book Of The Day Club
Tai Jan 18, 2014

Let’s say you want to be rich, famous, healthy, and happy. What would be the fastest way to get there?  Well if for the last 10 years you had been reading 1 book a week what would be different in your life right now?

4 books a month,

50 books a year,

500 books in a decade.

Imagine the knowledge of those 500 books embedded deep within your brain. You would be a genius. You could not even help but become rich, famous, healthy, and happy.

There is something wrong with the world today. This simple solution isn’t the mainstream mentality. I always tell my coaching students, “All the knowledge in the world at our fingertips and we know less than my grandpa did.”

We have Google, ebooks, Facebook, audio books, Kindles and Nooks but it seems like no one is really getting smarter.

But even with all this technology I still prefer good old fashioned books.

Here is why books work. It goes beyond just the simple knowledge they impart.

Books operate with a deeper, more powerful ‘mechanism’. Think of it this way. If I said to you, “Hey would you like to spend 1 hour a day for the next year being mentored by the worlds’ top billionaires, celebrities, authors, fitness trainers, professors, and world leaders?”

Your answer would be “of course”.

That’s precisely what books do. They give you direct access to the mentors you would never be able to meet in real life. Because most of the people worth listening to are either busy or already dead.

Success comes through osmosis. It rubs off on you. Change who you spend time around and you will change your life. Books are the easiest way to spend time around high caliber mentors.

There is no faster way to transform your life than to simply read more. No one, no matter how high their IQ, knows it all. The body of knowledge in the world is simply to vast to learn alone. Learning through trial and error is a fools game.

 It’s good to learn from your mistakes. It’s better to learn from other people’s mistakes.”  – Warren Buffet

 That is what books do for you. They cut the learning curve by years, even decades.

Reading is the habit of billionaires. Never forget that.

I have done a survey of most of the famous billionaires in the world and the only thing I found that they all had in common, from Steve Jobs to Larry Ellison to Sam Walton, was they all read a ton of books.

If you travel on Warren Buffett’s private jet guess what he does the whole time? He will shake your hand, make some small talk, and then pull out a stack of reading material and spend the rest of the flight catching up on his reading. In fact, he spends almost 8 hours a day reading.

 

Charlie Munger another famous billionaire says:

 

“In my whole life, I have known no wise people who didn’t read all the time – none, zero. You’d be amazed at how much Warren Buffett reads – at how much I read. My children laugh at me. They think I’m a book with a couple of legs sticking out.” 

 

I remember an interview with Bill Gates and Warren Buffett in which they were asked what superpower they wished they had.

 

They both agreed that they would want to be the fastest readers in the world. They didn’t wish for more power or money. Just the ability to read more books. Because they know that get the book thing right and the rest will naturally flow your way.

 

I’m sure you agree with what I’m saying. Most people do.

 

So if I asked you what keeps you from reading a book a day, or a book a week, I would guess your answer would be, “Tai it takes me too long to read a book, I don’t have the time.”

IRIS READING – YOU TUBE CHANNEL – Learn To Read Faster

If you feel you read too slow you aren’t alone. In fact Warren Buffett once said “I’ve probably wasted ten years reading too slowly.” And remember this is coming from Buffett who by the age of 12 had read every book in the Omaha public library system on investing. Even he felt it was hard to catch up.

 

Somehow I was lucky enough to learn speed reading as a teenager and over years of practice I can finish a book pretty quickly. I devote a few hours daily to reading 1 book a day.

That is how I came up with this book club idea. It was almost on accident. A lot of my friends said they didn’t have time to read and asked if I would just do the work for them and summarize what I read in an email everyday.

This is what I have created … A simple email newsletter you can join for free. Each day you will get a summary of the books that I think are most important for changing your life.

I read 4 different types of books on the subjects that I consider the foundation of living a good life.

 

Allan Nation, one of my mentors, taught me that it’s vital be eclectic and read from a wide base of knowledge. The books vary from classics written centuries ago, all the way to cutting edge modern bestsellers.

 

The first subject I cover is physical health.

If you are laying in bed sick you really don’t care about anything else. So I consider educating yourself on health, nutrition, food, exercise, sleep, water, stretching, etc. to be the obvious first step.

 

You will be getting books like:

The second subject is on wealth and business.

If you calculate the percentage of your waking adult life that you will spend working it’s literally OVER 50%! We spend more than half of our life making money and yet we devote so little time to learning about money and wealth creation. I consider this one of the travesties of modern times.

I don’t care if you are broke or a multi-millionaire. Books hold the key to you unlocking massive wealth. And more importantly making money doing something you love.

Great books like:

The third subject is on love.

I was just hanging out with Dr. David Buss who in my opinion is the smartest man alive on the subject of love and human attraction. He is the author of some amazing books that you will receive in my newsletter like The Evolution Of Desire. Nothing has the ability to make or break your happiness more than your love life. Humans are social creatures. Get the social ‘game’ wrong and your life goes straight downhill.

And of all the 4 subjects we will cover, without a doubt the most misinformation exists about love and romance. The good news is that there are a tremendous amount of amazing books out there that dispell the lies and bring clarity. I am going to send you book summaries that will revolutionize how you see love and romance.

Fascinating books like:

The fourth subject is on happiness.

If you study Maslows hierarchy of needs the top of the pyramid is self-actualization. Life becomes somewhat pointless without some sort of purpose that is higher than yourself. Most people find this higher purpose through their children and grandchildren. Hopefully you will go even deeper than that in your own life.

Hierachy-Of-Needs-Maslow-Theory-Diagram-8-Levels_600w96dpi

 

The book of the day newsletters will cover books with massive insight on civilization changing issues:

So if you are not already on my book of the day list simply sign up on the form on the top of this page.

Remember that life is full of entropy. If you are not careful your life will slowly slip backwards. You have to inject new energy, new inspiration, deep into your mind to ensure that entropy does rob you of true happiness.

There is no cost to you and you will get all the benefits of reading a book a day without actually having to take the time to do the work yourself.

It works pretty simply. You sign up free and every day you get an email with a new book summary. It’s similar to the Cliffnotes you might have used back in school.

But I put a little spin on things with my own opinions mixed in. I will also give you my recommended book list so that you can you know what to buy next time you are on Amazon.

Remember a lot of books nowadays have a lot of fluff that you really don’t need. So I help you skip all the unnecessary info and skip to the core concepts that you can implement immediately.

So take 2 minutes a day to read the summaries for the next month.

Take my challenge. If at the end of the 30 days you think it wasn’t worth your time send me an email. I have NEVER had one person write in. This ALWAYS improves lives.

Try this book of the day club for 30 days straight and watch the prosperity pour into your life.

Let’s change the world together.

>Click Here To Watch On YouTube

Question:  Are you ready to change your life by reading a book a day?

​SOURCE: http://www.tailopez.com/blog/book-of-the-day

No MONEY: Free books at your local library.

CONTACT:

Director Richard Taylor
Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA
Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence
Unique Approach to High Couples Conflict Management – Coaching – Narrative – Mentoring

Dave Ramsey – 3 Steps Towards Debt Free Financial Independence

Three Pearls of Financial Wisdom From Dave Ramsey

Couples often fight over money problems
and mounting debt. Fight together debt
rather than each other! – Richard Taylor

1. Don’t Worship Stuff

Many people grow up thinking they need stuff to be happy. We often confuse our wants with our needs, and convince ourselves we “need” a big house, a fancy car, and everything else in between.The more we have, the more successful we feel. The problem, however, is that stuff costs money — money we might not have.

In his book, The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, Ramsey nails it when he says, “We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.” Ain’t that the truth.

Some of us become so obsessed with keeping up that we sacrifice our future financial health and willingly go into debt just so others will think we’re successful and can afford a certain lifestyle. However, the joke’s on us because this type of thinking gets us nowhere financially — and fast.

The best thing you can do for your money is stop worrying about the opinions of others and realize stuff doesn’t make you happy or richer. Ramsey encourages “living substantially below your means.” Just because you make $75,000 a year doesn’t mean you have to spend $75,000 a year. Simplicity is key to acquiring financial freedom.

2. Build a $1,000 Emergency Fund — Now

According to Ramsey, this is the first step to financial stability. This doesn’t suggest you can’t have more in your emergency fund. Like many other financial experts, Ramsey speaks about the importance of having a sizable cash cushion — at least three to six months of income. But since this takes time, Ramsey’s Financial Peace University program recommends baby steps and starting with a $1,000 emergency fund.

This ensures enough cash to handle life’s curveballs, so you don’t have to rely on credit cards. This might come as a shock, but building a small emergency fund takes priority over paying off debt (although you’ll still need to make minimum debt payments while growing a small emergency fund).

Do whatever you can to build this emergency fund. For example, sell stuff you don’t need at a yard sale, work overtime, or get a side hustle. The idea is to fund this account as soon as possible. You’ll enjoy peace of mind knowing you can handle an emergency, and it’s only after building an emergency fund that you can start improving other areas of your personal finance.

3. Don’t Be a Slave to a Lender

We live in a world where anything can be financed — from electronics to houses. And some people fall in the trap of thinking they can afford something as long as they’re able to make the minimum payments.

Ramsey’s financial philosophy revolves around living debt-free. He’s a big believer in not carrying any type of debt, including an auto loan and a mortgage. In fact, he says he would rather ride a bike than take out a car loan.

In his book, Financial Peace Revisited, Ramsey says, “We want it all, and we can borrow to get it all, before we can afford it all.” For some, getting a loan or credit card has never been easier. But the more debt you have, the more you have to work, and the less money and time you’ll have to enjoy your life.

Once you have a small emergency fund, Ramsey says it’s time to tackle your non-mortgage debt. Not just your credit card debt — all of your debt. He feels that debt-free living isn’t just about paying off revolving debt, but also paying off student loans and car loans.

He recommends the debt snowball method, in which you pay off your smallest balance first. You’ll make large payments toward this debt every month, while making the minimum payments on all your other debts. After you get rid of the smallest balance, take the money you were using to pay off this balance and apply it to the next smallest balance, and so on. You’ll eventually pay off your debts, at which point you can start increasing your $1,000 emergency fund, aiming for three to six month’s worth of income.

After paying off debt and building a “real” emergency fund, Ramsey puts the focus on your mortgage and encourages paying off this debt as fast as you can. Becoming mortgage-free might feel like a stretch, but since you don’t have other debts hanging over your head, you’re able to increase your mortgage payments without breaking a sweat and pay off this debt years sooner.

That’s the American dream if I’ve ever heard of it.

By Mikey Rox on 16 July 2015

Source: http://www.wisebread.com/3-pearls-of-financial-wisdom-from-dave-ramsey

Compliments:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in:http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Anxious – Book – 4 Coping Strategies

TaiLopez.com Book Of The Day

Anxious: Using the Brain to Understand and Treat Fear and Anxiety
by Joseph LeDoux
Link: http://amzn.com/0670015334   Amazon

If you are expecting a quick and easy read, this is not the book for you. On the other hand, if you are an educator or interested in learning historical psychological concepts and treatment of mental health disorders and treatment, you may find the premises in this textbook both interesting and refreshing.1

1. Just take a deep breath: “This folk wisdom has a grain of truth to it. During stress the sympathetic nervous system dominates, overshadowing the parasympathetic system. But when one breathes slowly and deeply, “The vagus nerve, becomes more active and the balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic system improves.”

2. Focus less on self by meditating: “Our conscious self will do almost anything to maintain the independence, power, control, or success that it has achieved, even if to do so other people, other cultures, or the world has to suffer. A healthier approach is to let go of the ‘absolute self’ that we construct and recognize our broader role in life.”

3.  Combine self-exposure with proactive avoidance: If you have fear of crowds, “Rather than forcing oneself to ride out anxiety at a dinner party, use anxiety control strategies, such as relaxation and active coping (like trips to the bathroom or stepping out to make a call) that enable regrouping before reexposure.”

4.  Hang out with resilient, non-anxious people: “Resilient individuals tend to have a large repertoire of active coping options.  We’re able to use observation and instruction to explicitly learn to avoid. We create avoidance concepts or schemas, and when in danger we draw upon these stored action plans.”

If you are naturally a worrier you can change: “Although some people are by their nature’s more anxious than others, ever increasing anxiety doesn’t have to be their destiny. Just as the brain can learn to be anxious, it can also learn to not be that way.”
Stay Strong
Tai

Amazon – Most Helpful Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What’s this? )

Some reviewers say that the book is too academic for them, but the description on the cover clearly states that this “explains the science behind fear and anxiety disorders.” Maybe these reviewers were expecting another soft new age psychology book. Rather, this is a refreshing different perspective from real neuroscience breakthroughs in understanding this problem. The examples from the book below show that the language is easy to understand for any level audience, ranging from high school to university research professor.

The first half of this book is a wonderfully exciting journey through the mechanisms of the brain, explaining how the biology of fear and anxiety works, in a way that is easy for anyone to understand. The book ventures into cutting edge research, so even someone with a neuroscience or medical background would benefit from this as a knowledge refresher. The second half of the book describes pros and cons of the traditional therapy approaches, and the author’s recommendations for improved strategies based on the latest research advances in understanding the contribution of the conscious mind and higher levels of thinking to anxiety problems. On page 252:

“Putting Conscious Experience Front and Center in the Science of Anxiety
As I have argued, the essence of anxiety is the unpleasant feeling — the apprehension, dread, angst, and worry — that one experiences when he perceives he lacks control in situations of uncertainty and risk. It is a by-product of our unique ability to envision our future self and especially to anticipate unpleasant, or even catastrophic, scenarios regardless of their likelihood..”

The book explores a variety of techniques, including learning to control anxiety through meditation.Read more ›

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Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What’s this? )

While Joseph LeDoux states in the preface that he negotiated his way out of the textbook format to work with Viking editor, Rick Kot and write “Anxious: Using the Brain to Understand and Treat Fear and Anxiety” this is clearly a college level psychology textbook. It is a researched based study of the science behind fear and anxiety disorders.

Following the preface are 317 pages broken down into 11 chapters with ample figures and tables. Pages 310 through 360 are chapter notes while pages 361 through 451 compose a detailed bibliography.

I was surprised by the format of this book; however, as an avid reader of both self-help and textbooks dealing with psychology and mental health issues and treatment, I found this an interesting and easy to follow review of historical psychological concepts that I have learned in the past, as well as concepts that are new to me in in the study of the biological and cognitive human brain and environmental factors impacting human feelings, behavior and mental health, as well as medical treatment and therapy.

One example is the author’s statement that “anxiety” (meaning feelings fear or apprehension about what might happen in the future) is the price humans pay for autonoetic consciousness. I learned that the concept of autonoetic consciousness centers on self-awareness, self-analysis and our ability to think about our past and present thoughts, emotions and experiences and relate them to present and future events. While that gift enables us avoid danger and learn from our experiences, sometimes it causes undo fear and anxiety.

If you are expecting a quick and easy read, this is not the book for you. On the other hand, if you are an educator or interested in learning historical psychological concepts and treatment of mental health disorders and treatment, you may find the premises in this textbook both interesting and refreshing.

Enjoy!

Compliments:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

World Population 7.3 Billion – Population Pyramid

WORLD POPULATION PYRAMID

http://populationpyramid.net/world/2015/

World Population: 7.324.782.000 (7.3 Billion) | 2015

A population pyramid, also called an age pyramid or age picture diagram, is a graphical illustration that shows the distribution of various age groups in a population (typically that of a country or region of the world), which forms the shape of a pyramid when the population is growing.[1] It is also used in ecology to determine the overall age distribution of a population; an indication of the reproductive capabilities and likelihood of the continuation of a species.

It typically consists of two back-to-back bar graphs, with the population plotted on the X-axis and age on the Y-axis, one showing the number of males and one showing females in a particular population in five-year age groups (also called cohorts). Males are conventionally shown on the left and females on the right, and they may be measured by raw number or as a percentage of the total population.

Population pyramids are often viewed as the most effective way to graphically depict the age and sex distribution of a population, partly because of the very clear image these pyramids present.[2]

A great deal of information about the population broken down by age and sex can be read from a population pyramid, and this can shed light on the extent of development and other aspects of the population. A population pyramid also tells how many people of each age range live in the area. There tends to be more females than males in the older age groups, due to females’ longer life expectancy.

In many countries, the government plans the economy in such a way that the working population can support these dependents. This number can be further used to calculate the dependency ratio in that population.

Population pyramids can be used to observe the natural increase, birth, and death rate.

Reference:

1.) Population pyramids of the world from 1950 to 2050

2.) Department of Health Home

 

 

Compliments:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

Coffee And Anger: Any Cause/Effect?

Coffee And Anger: Any Cause/Effect?

Can Too Much Caffeine Cause Anger & Confusion?

Last Updated: Jun 23, 2015 | By Lynne Sheldon.

Caffeine has its benefits: It reduces fatigue, stimulates your nervous system and helps you stay alert. However, consuming it in excess has drawbacks; if you drink too much caffeine, you may experience side effects like irritability, nervousness and even anger and confusion. Talk to your doctor about reducing your caffeine intake, and cut back if your consumption is causing you more harm than good.

Side Effects of Caffeine

Your body absorbs and distributes caffeine rapidly after you consume it, and it does not continually circulate in your bloodstream but is excreted through your urine, explains the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. Caffeine provides temporary relief from drowsiness, but it also has some negative side effects. These include feelings of anxiety and restlessness, as well as irritability and anger. If these feelings get in the way of your ability to function and pay attention, you may then experience confusion as well. Too much caffeine can also cause a rapid heart rate, digestive upset and muscle tremors.

How Much Is Too Much?

A moderate dose of caffeine is defined as 200 to 300 milligrams a day, and this translates to 2 to 3 cups of coffee, according to MedlinePlus.com. For most people, this amount is unlikely to cause harm. Heavy consumption is defined as more than 500 to 600 milligrams a day, and it is this amount of intake that is most likely to cause anger, confusion and other adverse symptoms. But some people are more sensitive to caffeine and its effects than others. So even if your consumption is within the moderate range, you should still consider cutting back if you are experiencing negative effects.

Caffeine Content and Ways to Reduce

Caffeine may be in more items than you think — coffee, caffeinated tea, chocolate, cocoa and some sodas all contain caffeine. Certain pain relievers, cold medicines and appetite suppressants may also contain caffeine. If you need to cut back on your caffeine intake, do this over the course of several days or weeks. For example, try lessening your intake of coffee by 1 cup each day, or less if you find you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Reducing your intake too quickly can cause negative effects as well, which may make you feel even angrier and more confused than when you consumed caffeine.

Additional Considerations

Keep in mind that certain medications, such as antibiotics, as well as herbal supplements like echinacea can increase caffeine’s concentration in your blood, resulting in heightened negative side effects like anger and confusion. Never stop taking your medications or otherwise altering your diet without first discussing these changes with your health-care provider. People with coronary heart disease or peptic ulcers may have to limit or eliminate their caffeine intake to avoid potential health complications, according to Drugs.com.

Source: http://www.livestrong.com/article/488967-can-too-much-caffeine-cause-anger-confusion/

 

Why Coffee Causes Irritability and Anxiety

Last Updated: Jan 08, 2014 | By Dr. Heidi Moawad.

For many, coffee is an eye opener, a pleasant break or a way to make a social connection. However, anxiety and irritability sometimes occur in conjunction with drinking coffee. People who are not regular coffee drinkers are more prone to these side effects, according to an August 2010 study report published in “Neuropsychopharmacology.” A number of research studies have examined this relationship. Coffee contains many chemicals, but caffeine is the one responsible for causing anxiety and irritability.

Caffeine and Irritability

Irritability is an unpleasant feeling of being overly sensitive to stimulation and easily annoyed. The caffeine found in coffee can produce a heightened sense of perception by stimulating the brain. This effect makes a person more aware of mild annoyances, thereby increasing irritability. Caffeine withdrawal in someone used to consuming large amounts of coffee or other caffeinated beverages can also cause irritability.

Caffeine and Anxiety

Anxiety is a sense of apprehension and unease. The same chemical process in the brain that causes the benefits of intensified alertness can actually serve as a double-edged sword, increasing anxiety by making you more aware of all the potential negative outcomes in a situation.

Variable Responses

The impact of coffee on anxiety and irritability is individualized. The chemicals in coffee trigger a range of emotional responses, depending on a person’s coffee drinking habits, body weight, metabolism and baseline mood. People who have had less exposure to caffeine or who regularly experience more than usual anxiety and irritability — even in the absence of coffee — tend to have a stronger response to the effects of coffee. There is also a genetic component to an individual’s response to coffee intake.

Source: http://www.livestrong.com/article/368997-why-coffee-causes-irritability-anxiety/

 

Suggestion: If you think too much coffee is increasing the anger response, why not try cutting back on coffee consumption and see what happens? Do it slowly, one cup a day less…

Leave feedback on your journey….

CONTACT:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

 

Read a Book a Day

Read a Book a Day

Tai Lopez explains how to read a book a day, often within 10 -30 minutes.
He reads a book a day having read over 50,000 books. Did not graduate
from college and earns in the millions. What are you waiting for? Christmas?

BIGGEST MYTH: Read a book start to finish.

Skim a book 3 X.

SPEED READING RULES
#1 : Skim the book for 1-2 minutes (Overview)
#2 : Power Skim first few pages, table of contents, mark pages for 5-10 minutes
#3 : Deep Skim Read for 1 to 3 golden nuggets; the knowledge of Why the Book was written. Memorize the Single Golden Nugget. Read the end of Chapter Summaries, the summation of the book.
#4 : Use Books As Reference Guide, re-read as needed or as resource documentation.

more info: TaiLopez.com

This is part of The LEADERSHIP SERIES.

CONTACT:

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence

 

 

EQ – Reframing – Unconditional Positive Self Regard

Unconditional Positive Regard

Published on Oct 13, 2014

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Michelle shares her personal journey towards Unconditional Positive Regard and self acceptance through the lens of parenting. This is a story about relationships and ultimately the relationship you have with yourself.

Michelle Charfen has had a lifelong passion for learning. She was fascinated by the human body and from an early age dreamed of becoming a physician. In high school, she began tutoring students, discovering a love of facilitating learning for others as well. She would eventually study Human Biology as an undergraduate at Stanford, teach preschool during the summer vacations, and spend the year after graduation teaching at an elementary school in East Palo Alto.

Michelle’s childhood dream was finally realized upon attending Harvard Medical School. She then completed a residency in Emergency Medicine at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, followed by a research fellowship during which she obtained a Masters of Epidemiology from the School of Public Health at UCLA. Teaching medical students and residents in an academic environment was perfectly suited to her enthusiasm for constant learning. In 2008, she stepped down from her faculty position as an Assistant Professor at the UCLA School of Medicine to devote this period of life to her growing family while continuing to work part time in Emergency Medicine.

Her personal journey, struggles, and successes as a parent organically led to an interest in supporting other families. Michelle completed the Parent Educator Certification Program through Echo Parenting and Education, and now combines this training with her previous experience and knowledge to help others learn effective tools for compassionate communication.

About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

1. Slow Down
2. Be Gentle With Yourself
3. Walking Towards What You Want
4. Accept Myself No Matter What
5. Embrace Mind Change Concept

Emotional Intelligence = EI = Emotional Quotient = EQ

Find out your EQ by taking the MHS EQ-i 2.0 Assessment
and learn where you are. Then embrace change and grow into the new improved you!

Richard Taylor will coach you into better skills sets:

EQ-i2.0 Model

EQ-i2.0 Model

EQ-i 2.0 Scales

EQ-i 2.0 Scales

 

  • Self Regard
  • Self Actualization
  • Emotional Self Awareness
  • Emotional Expression
  • Assertiveness
  • Independence
  • Interpersonal Relationships
  • Empathy
  • Social Responsibility
  • Problem Solving
  • Reality Testing
  • Impulse Control
  • Flexibility
  • Stress Tolerance
  • Optimism

CONTACT IN ATLANTA:

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor

Director Richard Taylor BS, CAMF
Certified Anger Management Facilitator
Diplomate American Association Anger Management Providers

Atlanta Anger Management
5555 Glenridge Connector
Suite 200 (2nd Floor)
Atlanta, Georgia 30342 USA

Office Phone: 678-576-1913
Fax: 1-866-551-1253
Web: http://www.atlantaangermanagement.com
E-mail: richardtaylor5555@gmail.com

Linked in: http://www.linkedin.com/in/richardtayloraam

#1 Certified Anderson and Anderson™ Anger Management Provider
The Best Of The Best In Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence